I Tried

MeMaw found out to that Rhubarb and Dallas McCade would be at the Long Horns’ in Woodstock today giving out Kenny Chesney tickets. I was instructed to be there at 4:00 to get two. She thought it would be great to give them to Marni and Jarrett. Great idea! I said I would do it. The first inkling that it wasn’t going to be as easy as I thought was when I couldn’t find a parking place at 3:45. Then there were the vans and mini vans with “Honk if you (heart) Kenny Chesney” signs painted on the windows. The next sign was the number of people there. I didn’t realize Rhubarb was so popular.

Then I found out that there would be a drawing for the tickets (two sets were backstage passes.) So I was standing there looking around at the horde waiting to get into the drawing. Let’s see! There were the cowgirls with the tight fitting genes (thanks Conway) and big hair. Also in the crowd are the slim challenged ladies with their shorts and teddies (I think that’s what you call those handkerchiefs with strings) that they didn’t need to wear at home, much less out in public. There were a few men standing there looking embarrassed, because their wives or girlfriends were screaming to high heaven every time someone mentioned Kenny’s name.

To make a long, boring story short, I didn’t win any tickets. I also didn’t win a autographed picture of Kenny, or a life-size cardboard cutout of Kenny (one of five that the women were screaming for.) I also didn’t win one the mugs with Eagle 106.7 on it. What do I need with a mug? We have plenty of plastic cups. Finally, I didn’t even get to talk to Rhubarb. No matter how much I screamed, he wouldn’t look at me.

Well, I guess it’s the thought that counts. Marni and Jarrett would have really loved to have been there. And I got to see people at their funniest and saddest. However, I did get a chance to enjoy a cold Bud Light and a Tunion, so life is good.

Tag It Dang It

Let’s do it!

Ten Years Ago
I was a financial analyst for Lucent Technologies

Five Years Ago
Started my retirement, but not happy about it. Love it now. Started taking yearly cruses with the family.

One Year Ago
Had my gallbladder removed and I now feel so good I wish I had done it as a kid.

Five Songs I Know All the Words to
1. “Puff The Magic Dragon,” PP&M
2. “Happy Birthday To You,” Somebody
3. “Love to Lay You Down,” Conway Twittie
4. “Jesus Loves Me,” GOD
5. “Ally Oop,” The Hollywood Argyles

Five Snacks I Love and Wish I Could Eat
1. My Mothers Chocolat Cake
2. Macdonald's Fries with extra salt
3. Banana Pudding
4. 5th Ave. Candy Bar
5. Banana Split with nuts

Five Places I’d Run Away to
1. Japan
2. Hawaii
3. Marco Island
4. The Mountains
5. Alaska

Five Favorite TV Shows (current or vintage)
1. “Lost”
2. “Deadwood”
3. “Sopranos”
4. “Da Vinci's Inquest”
5. “Survivor”

Five Things I’d Never Wear
1. Thong Skivvies
2. Women's Clothes
3. Anything Supporting Democrats
4. A Spandex Swim Suite
5. Anything That Requires Sticking Something On or Into My Body, Face, Ears or Private Parts

Five Favorite Toys
1. The Grandkids
2. The Boat
3. Digital Camera
4. The TV Remote
5. My PC

Since I don't know anyone else, this is the end of the tag.

Too Old

Marni keeps telling me to start putting things on this post. She says to put stuff on here about my Navy experiences, what life was like in the 60’s and 70’s (probably before most of the people she blogs with were born – I know they now teach part of my experiences in history class) and things the grand-kids do and say.

First of all I can’t think of anything that would interest any of you. If you have questions, ask. But most of all I cannot imagine anyone even reading this. Other than Marni (my daughter), Beth and Page (my nieces), I don't know anyone who even knows how to turn a computer on, much less blog.

I’ll start out by telling you about an experience I had with the Jay-man and Bug.  Judy, the kids and I went to Burger King this past Sunday for a gourmet breakfast.  The kids went into the play room to climb through the huge tunnels and slides that are there.  After we ate the kids went back into the maze to play some more. They made it sound to fun – J-Man was in one orb that was on springs and moved as he played, and Bug was in the other orb.  It looked like so much fun, I decided to join them.

Well, going through the opening that has the different levels to crawl up through to get to the top was out.  I can’t even turn sideways anymore without stiffness.  And to have to do all the serpentine twisting and climbing to get to the top was out.   So I went in through the slide.  OMG! It had to take five minuets to get to the top.  It’s hard to the my 62 year old, 6’4’, 230 pound body through the exit – much less climb up on my knees.

I finally made it to the top. Thank God there was a place to stretch out. I was breathing hard, my knees and upper shins were scrapped and peeling and all I could do was lean back against the top of the slide and stick my legs though the approach tunnel.  Should I call 911 now?

Jordan was laughing and calling Jarrett to come look at Paw Paw.  I had intended to crawl though the tunnels and visit each of the orbs, but… There isn’t anything in this world that could have gotten me though those tunnels.  So, after several attempts, I was able to get turned around and go back down the slide – which isn’t easy either. The turns are leveled so that the kids and adult idiots won’t pickup to much speed when they exit at the bottom.

I finally got out into the open world, and I walked, stooped over, to Me Maw, who was just looking at me like I’m nuts and just shakes her head.  I’m luck she didn’t leave in the car and make me walk home.  If it hadn’t been for the kids laughing and jumping around me, she probably would.