Sunday, October 31, 2010

My Halloween Day

It has been a busy Halloween inside the Coffey Pot. We started off the day with Bug making and hanging Halloween decorations.

Below is the front door.  We bought the door cover, but Bug did all the rest and in the yard.

Bug thought we needed a skeliton on our For Sale sign.

Here is Miss Bug with her mail box ghost

Happy Ghost

Some ghost under our corner tree.

Then we went to Rope Mill Park for a little nature walk. From before the Civil War into the twentieth century there was a rope mill along side the Little River. It was located across the river from the main part of the park.

This is looking down the paved mile and a half trail.

J-Man and Bug standing in the dry river bed.  In the summer, the river is up to their waist.

The mill was across the river at the point. The left fork is where the water for the water wheel came out. What's left of the damn is up river.

This is the bridge support that lead to the mill.

Again, J-Man and Bug standing in the river bed.

Here's the Studmister bravely crossing the log over the creek - without a parachute or a safety net.

Me again with my Tootsie Roll Pop in my mouth.

This the remains of the dam and the enterance to the sluce.

The little shits resting along the river.  Aaah to be that young again.

Then we made it home and are now answering the door to all the little goblins out there.

I hope your day was a great as mine.


Happy Halloween

An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his bodily systems extremely upset.  Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided the latest episode was another and stayed put.  He suddenly filled his bed with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational.

In a complete loss of composure he jumped out of bed, gathered up the bed sheets, and threw them out the hospital window.

Well, it seems that a drunk was walking by the hospital and the sheets landed on him. He started yelling, cursing, and swinging his arms violently trying to get the unknown thing off of him, and ended up with the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his feet.

As the drunk stood there, unsteady on his feet, staring down at the sheets, a hospital security guard, (barely containing his laughter), and who had watched the whole incident, walked up and asked, "What the heck is going on here?"

The drunk, still staring down replied: "I think I just beat the shit out of a ghost."

Happy Halloween, to Y'all...


Saturday, October 30, 2010

Daily Driving In Atlanta

This morning on the Interstate, I looked over to my left and there was a Woman in a brand new Cadillac doing 75 mph with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner.

I looked away for a couple seconds to continue shaving and when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane, still working on that makeup.

As a man, I don't scare easily.

But she scared me so much I dropped my electric shaver which knocked the donut out of my other hand.

In all the confusion of trying to straighten out the car using my knees against the steering wheel, I knocked my cell phone away from my ear and it fell into the coffee between my legs which splashed and burned Big Jim and the Twins, ruined the damn phone, soaked my trousers, and disconnected an important call.

Damn women drivers!

Dog Sniffing

Oh Yeah ........ 
You bet I'm gonna' sniff it ............

A Conversation With Obama

I stole this from Ward at Ward Takes The Floor.

I love it when politics is explained in a childs format.  This is funny as a Democrat giving a speach at a Tea Party Ralley.

Getting Old In Florida

Three old ladies were sitting side by side in their retirement home in Ft. Lauderdale reminiscing. The first lady recalled shopping at the green grocers and demonstrated with her hands, the length and thickness of a cucumber she could buy for a penny.

The second old lady nodded, adding that onions used to be much bigger and cheaper also, and demonstrated the size of two big onions she could buy for a penny a piece..

The third old lady remarked, 'I can't hear a word you're saying, but I remember the guy you're talking about.

Two elderly women were sitting on the retirement home porch in Tallahassee talking about their youth and dances they went to. Finally, one of the ladies ask the other if she remembered the minuet. The other said, “Lordy, Maud, I don’t even remember the men I screwed.

A little old lady was sitting on a park bench in The Villages, a Florida Adult community. A man walked over and sits down on the other end of the bench. After a few moments, the woman asks, 'Are you a stranger here?'

He replies, 'I lived here years ago.'

'So, where were you all these years?'

'In prison,' he says.

'Why did they put you in prison?'

He looked at her, and very quietly said, 'I killed my wife.'

'Oh!' said the woman. 'So you're single...?!'

Two elderly people living in Ft. Myers , he was a widower and she a widow, had known each other for a number of years. One evening there was a community supper in the big arena in the Clubhouse.

The two were at the same table, across from one another. As the meal went on, he took a few admiring glances at her and finally gathered the courage to ask her, 'Will you marry me?'

After about six seconds of 'careful consideration,' she answered 'Yes. Yes, I will!'

The meal ended and, with a few more pleasant exchanges, they went to their respective places. Next morning, he was troubled. 'Did she say 'yes' or did she say 'no'?'

He couldn't remember. Try as he might, he just could not recall. Not even a faint memory. With trepidation, he went to the telephone and called her..

First, he explained that he didn't remember as well as he used to. Then he reviewed the lovely evening past.. As he gained a little more courage, he inquired, 'When I asked if you would marry me, did you say ' Yes' or did you say 'No'?'

He was delighted to hear her say, 'Why, I said, 'Yes, yes I will' and I meant it with all my heart.' Then she continued, 'And I am so glad that you called, because I couldn't remember who had asked me.'

A man was telling his neighbor in Miami , 'I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect.'

'Really,' answered the neighbor. 'What kind is it?'

'Twelve thirty.'

A little old man shuffled slowly into the 'Orange Dipper', an ice cream parlor in Naples , and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.

After catching his breath he ordered a banana split.

The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'

'No,' he replied, 'hemorrhoids

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Some Rodney Quotes

Rodney Dangerfield was the king of self-deprecating one liners. I hope these give you a smile like they did me.

My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg.

It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass!

Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home.

A girl phoned me and said, 'Come on over. There's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home!

A hooker once told me she had a headache.

I went to a massage parlor. It was self-service.

If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.

I was making love to this girl and she started crying I said, 'Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?' She said, 'No, I hate myself now.'

I knew a girl so ugly that she was known as a two-bagger. That's when you put a bag over your head in case the bag over her head comes off.

I knew a girl so ugly... they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders.

My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.

I’m so ugly I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning.

The other day I came home and a guy was jogging, naked. I asked him, 'Why?' He said, 'Because you came home early.'

My wife’s such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer.

I know I'm not sexy. When I put my underwear on I can hear the Fruit-of-the-Loom guys giggling.

My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal.

My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex. She called me from Chicago last night.

I let the dog in the bedroom to learn how to beg.

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.

I'll tell you one thing, I know how to satisfy my wife in bed, yeah, I leave.

My family was so poor that if I hadn't been born a boy, I wouldn't have had anything to play with.

And Rodney's last comment to the press came as he was going into the hospital for brain surgery, they ask him how long would he be in the hospital and he replied, "If everythings OK about a week, if not OK less than 2 hours."

Wednesday, October 27, 2010



If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting?

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
They're going to see you naked anyway..

Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
They're both dogs!

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?' Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That really hurt, why don't you watch where you're going?'

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

Now I have a headache…gonna go lie down.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Letter To A Men's Helpline

Letter to Men's Helpline:-

Hey Mate, really need your advice for a serious problem:

I have suspected for some time now that the missus has been cheating. The usual signs; Phone rings, if I answer the caller hangs up; going out with the girls a lot. I try to stay awake to look out for her when she comes home but I usually fall asleep.

Anyway last night, about midnight, I hid in the shed behind the boat. When she came home she got out of someone's car buttoning her blouse, then she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on... It was at that moment, crouched behind the boat, I noticed a "hairline crack" in the outboard mounting bracket... Is that something I can weld myself or do I need to replace it?

Too Many Cracks To Worry About

Monday, October 25, 2010

Super Hero - Fail

Thanks, No Body!

Redneck Monday - Reasons You Might Be A Redneck

**** (Redneck Barbi) ****

Reasons you might be a Redneck:

You might be a redneck if you mow your grass and find three cars.

You might be a redneck if you think the last four words of the national anthem are, ''Gentlemen start your engines''

You know you're a redneck if you have sex ed and drivers ed in the same car.

Rednecks don't let friends drive home drunk, they get drunk and ride with them.

What do you call an Alabama farmer with a sheep under each arm?
A pimp.

You know you're a redneck when your stair master has an ashtray!

Top 10 Reasons to Know You're a Redneck

1. Your dog rides in your truck more than your wife.
2. You wear specific hats to farm sales, livestock auctions, customer appreciation suppers, and vacations.
3. You have ever had to wash off in the backyard with a garden hose before your wife would let you in the house.
4. You've never thrown away a 5-gallon bucket.
5. You can remember the fertilizer rate, seed population, herbicide rate and yields on a farm you rented 10 years ago, but cannot recall your wife's birthday.
6. You have used a velvet leaf plant as toilet paper.
7. You have driven off the road while examining your neighbors crops.
8. You have borrowed gravel from the county road to fill potholes in your driveway.
9. You have buried a dog and cried like a baby.
10. You've used the same knife to make bull calves steers and peel apples.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

No Nude Blogging - Just Too Tired

I missed the Nude Blogging Last night. Heave traffic, road construction and too many hours awake caused me to pass out in the motel room even before I got my shower - or had dinner.

Disappointed, too! I was looking forward to this trip because of all the fall colors. Not! There were patches of colors along the way, but mostly still green. What I did see was beautiful, though. I was about a week early and one good frost away form the beautiful season. Dammit!

What didn’t make sense is the Shenandoah Valley, along I-81, not even in the mountains, was bare of leaves. The ride looked like mid winter. But the sun was out and the sky was beautiful.

That wraps up this travel report. Sorry there is nothing more worth talking about…other than the ubiquitous blow job a woman was giving the driver as they passed me. Her head has to know what it’s like to be an NBA basketball.

Siiigghhh! Lucky man!

Why Aspirins Are White

(H/T to Bob)

Thursday, October 21, 2010

New York or Bust and The Lawyers Party vs Real People

After a couple of weeks off, it's time to make another run to Menands, NY.  This time I'm looking forward to seeing the trees in the mountains.  The Fall colors should be ready for viewing by those of us who love the changing of the seasons.

So I guess I will be doing my nude blogging on Friday night, but till then, here is a bit of information you might find interesting.  It is a bit long, but I think informative and thought provoking...or boring.

Perhaps it explains why bills are written in wording such that the layman can not understand and even more important is the fact that most of the lawyers can't either.

So it becomes the tool of the ones in charge to do what they want and no one can stop them . . . because to stop them you need judges and lawyers and since they control them, they control the output.


*The Lawyers' Party By Bruce Walker *

The Democratic Party has become the Lawyers Party.

Barack Obama is a lawyer. (Lost his Law Licenses-
Michelle Obama is a lawyer. (Lost her Law Licens Due to Extortion -
Hillary Clinton is a lawyer.
Bill Clinton is a lawyer.
John Edwards is a lawyer.
Elizabeth Edwards is a lawyer.

Every Democrat nominee since 1984 went to law school (although Gore did not graduate).
Every Democrat vice presidential nominee since 1976, except for Lloyd Bentsen, went to law school.
Look at leaders of the Democrat Party in Congress:
Harry Reid is a lawyer.
Nancy Pelosi is a lawyer.

The Republican Party is different.
President Bush is a businessman.
Vice President Cheney is a businessman.

The leaders of the Republican Revolution:
Newt Gingrich was a history professor.
Tom Delay was an exterminator.
Dick Armey was an economist.
House Minority Leader Boehner was a plastic manufacturer.
The former Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist is a heart surgeon.

Who was the last Republican president who was a lawyer?
Gerald Ford (the only President NEVER elected to office), who left office 31 years ago and who barely, won the Republican nomination as a sitting president, running against Ronald Reagan in 1976.

The Republican Party is made up of real people doing real work, who are often the targets of lawyers.

The Democrat Party is made up of lawyers. Democrats mock and scorn men who create wealth, like Bush and Cheney, or who heal the sick, like Frist, or who immerse themselves in history, like Gingrich.

The Lawyers Party sees these sorts of people, who provide goods and services that people want, as the enemies of America. And, so we have seen the procession of official enemies, in the eyes of the Lawyers Party, grow.

Against whom do Hillary and Obama rail? Pharmaceutical companies, oil companies, hospitals, manufacturers, fast food restaurant chains, large retail businesses, bankers, and anyone producing anything of value in our nation.

This is the natural consequence of viewing everything through the eyes of lawyers.

Lawyers solve problems by successfully representing their clients, in this case the American people.

Lawyers seek to have new laws passed, they seek to win lawsuits, they press appellate courts to overturn precedent, and lawyers always parse language to favor their side.

Confined to the narrow practice of law, that is fine. But it is an awful way to govern a great nation. When politicians as lawyers begin to view some Americans as clients and other Americans as opposing parties, then the role of the legal system in our life becomes all-consuming.

Some Americans become adverse parties of our very government. We are not all litigants in some vast social class-action suit. We are citizens of a republic that promises us a great deal of freedom from laws, from courts, and from lawyers.

Today, we are drowning in laws; we are contorted by judicial decisions; we are driven to distraction by omnipresent lawyers in all parts of our once private lives. America has a place for laws and lawyers, but that place is modest and reasonable, not vast and unchecked.

When the most important decision for our next president is whom he will appoint to the Supreme Court, the role of lawyers and the law in America is too big.

When House Democrats sue America in order to hamstring our efforts to learn what our enemies are planning to do to us, then the role of litigation in America has become crushing.  We cannot expect the Lawyers Party to provide real change, real reform or real hope in America.

Most Americans know that a republic in which every major government action must be blessed by nine unelected judges is not what Washington intended in 1789.

Most Americans grasp that we cannot fight a war when ACLU lawsuits snap at the heels of our defenders.

Most Americans intuit that more lawyers and judges will not restore declining moral values or spark the spirit of enterprise in our economy.

Perhaps Americans will understand that change cannot be brought to our nation by those lawyers who already largely dictate American society and business.

Perhaps Americans will see that hope does not come from the mouths of lawyers but from personal dreams nourished by hard work.

Perhaps Americans will embrace the truth that more lawyers with more power will only make our problems worse.

The United States has 5% of the world's population and 66% of the world's lawyers!

Tort (Legal) reform legislation has been introduced in congress several times in the last several years to limit punitive damages in ridiculous lawsuits such as spilling hot coffee on yourself and suing the establishment that sold it to you and also to limit punitive damages in huge medical malpractice lawsuits. This legislation has continually been blocked from even being voted on by the Democrat Party.

When you see that 97% of the political contributions from the American Trial Lawyers Association goes to the Democrat Party, then you realize who is responsible for our medical and product costs being so high!


Wednesday, October 20, 2010

SSGT Sal Guinta - MOH Recipient

There is this lady name Leta over at From Cow Pastures To Kosove  who dearly loves her ‘Sky Soldiers’ as much as she loves life. Especially the 173rd Airborne Brigade Combat Team, 503rd Infantry Regiment. These guys have been in the worst of the worst in the Korangal valley in Afghanistan. And I copied these videos of an interview with SSGT Sal Guinta, the only man to be awarded the Metal of Honor, and still be alive, since all this stuff began ten years ago.

Leat quoted on her blog; “He is a humble man in every way and continues to bring such honor to his unit, fellow Soldiers, family and friends.” Folks, I have never hear or read an interview with any MOH receipients who have ever taken sole credit for the award. All have said they only were doing their job and others fought as brave or braver than them. SSGT Guinta is no exception. Now listen to a true, humble, professional soldier.

I had my eyes sweating with pride for this young man and the men who were with him. And I am even more proud of all our guys and gals still serving. They are doing the hard stuff for us…and it’s not for the money, either.

God bless this young man, his family and friends, and God Bless The USA

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Comparing Pictures

It seems that some of these didn't come through on the email I sent this morning, so I decided to post them here.

As most of you know, I have an e-mail list of bloggers whom I send stuff that I think is funny or interesting or political in nature. If you would like to be included (or taken off) send me your email address to

Monday, October 18, 2010


For you Georgia voters out there, I am posting the web site so you can look over the candidates and the proposed amendments.

Some of you may know, others don’t and most don’t care, but I have been working at my voter polling place for several elections, and one thing I feel that is needed is for information to be out there so people will be able to plan their voting choices.

My county (Cherokee) has a web site that will help any of you in Georgia get ahead of the game.

Go to vote.cherokeega and click on Sample Ballot (in the lower right corner of the ptions at the top.)

Fill out the boxes required and enter. (This will give you your voter poll information)

Then click on "Click Here To See Qualified Candidates For Your November 02, 2010 General Election Ballot" to see all the candidates.

Click on "Proposed Constitutional Amendments and Statewide Referendums" to see the 5 amendments. 

I highly recommend you go and read the amendments now because they are very long and full of lawyerly words and phrases and can be quiet confusing - at least to my numb brain - and you need to understand them before going to the poles.

Hopefully this will make your voting experience easier and faster.  If you have any questions you can call me or email me at johnjudyc at att dot com.