A Little British Humor

Below are classified ads which were actually placed in U.K. newspapers:

FREE PUPPIES
1/2 Cocker Spaniel 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.

FREE PUPPIES. Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.
Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound.

COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED. 

Also 1 gay bull for sale!

JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
Must sell washer and dryer £100.

WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE!
Worn once by mistake!
Call Stephanie.

FOR SALE BY OWNER!

Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes.
Excellent condition!  £200 or best offer.
No longer needed, got married; wife knows everything.

Plus…

A thought from the Greatest Living Scottish Thinker -- Billy Connolly,

"If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking how come they can't have a headache and sex at the same time?"