...ologies

I kind of tagged myself after reading this on Nancy’s Blog Pourri blog.

FOODOLOGY
Q. What is your salad dressing of choice?
A. Some times Ranch, sometimes Blue Cheese, sometime Thousand Island, sometime – well, it depends on my mood or taste craving.
Q. What is your favorite fast food restaurant?
A. Wendi’s
Q. What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
A. I like Japanese, Mexican and Italian
Q. On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant?
A. One; next time don’t wait on me.
Q. What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of?
A. Cheeseburgers with mustard, ketchup, mayo, onions, tomato and lettuce. And Diet Coke!
Q. What is your favorite type of gum?
A. The upper. It holds the prettiest teeth.

TECHNOLOGY
Q. What is your wallpaper on your computer?
A. A green sloping filed with a clear blue sky – think Teletubbys.
Q. How many televisions are in your house?
A. Four!

BIOLOGY
Q. What’s your best feature?
A. My third finger on my left hand. It has the ring Sweet Tea gave me.

Q. Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
A. Polyps from my nose; kidney stones; my gallbladder; a few teeth; hope for a safe, secure America for my grandkids; a fingernail and toenail; but I have had a stent put in my heart. So the total is OUT- many, IN – one.

Q. Which of your five senses do you think is keenest?
A. Sleep! Okay, Touch!

Q. When was the last time you had a cavity?
A. If you are talking about a woman, it’s been awhile. If you are talking about teeth, now! I go in a couple of weeks to get it filled.

Q. What is the heaviest item you lifted last?
A. Either the last time I went to the bathroom or a chair I took out of the SUV after our trip to NJ last week.

Q. Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
A. Yes!

BULLSHITOLOGY
Q. If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
A. Nope!

Q. Is love for real?
A. When I think about or look at my grandkids, you betcha.

Q. If you could change your first name, what would you change it to?
A. Doctor! Or maybe Howdy! Maybe Sire!

Q. What color do you think looks best on you?
A. Blue – especially if Kelly Ripa is wearing it.

Q. Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake?
A. Yep! A few hairs, a bug or two, some pennies and dimes, a few seeds from the non-food type herbs and a diamond.

Q. Have you ever saved someone’s life?
A. Yep! I changed my mind.

Q. Has someone ever saved yours?
A. Yes! Sweet Tea.

DAREOLOGY
Q. Would you walk naked for a half mile down a public street for $100,000?
A. Yes, and you could have a day to raise a crowd.

Q. Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100?
A. Kiss them where?

Q. Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000?
A. Yes, except for number three on the left.

Q. Would you never blog again for $50,000?
A. Nice try, but HELL YES!

Q. Would you pose nude in a magazine for $250,000?
A. Yes, but it would probably be in Old Geezers and Wheezers.

Q. Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1,000?
A. No!

Q. Would you, without fear of punishment, take a human life for $1,000,000?
A. There are some I would take out for free. So, yea, I would.

Q. Would you give up watching television for a year for $25,000?
A. No!

Q. Give up MySpace forever for $30,000?
A. Sure! I don’t use it now, so why not.

DUMBOLOGY
Q: What is in your left pocket?
A. My pocket knife, and a ten, a five and three ones.

Q: Is Napoleon Dynamite actually a good movie?
A. I don’t know who he is or why he would make a movie.

Q: Do you have hardwood or carpet in your house?
A. Both.

Q: Do you sit or stand in the shower?
A. Stand

Q: Could you live with roommates?
A. I have, but I don’t want to do it again (except for ST of course.)

Q: How many pairs of flip-flops do you own?
A. None!

Q: Last time you had a run-in with the cops?
A. I got a warning ticket for speeding a few weeks ago. I told him I wasn’t speeding, I was qualifying. He started to take me to jail for impersonation a comedian – honest.

Q: What do you want to be when you grow up?
A. Old and happy! Maybe a quality control inspector in a whore house.

LASTOLOGY
Q: Friend you talked to?
A. Quartermaster Chuck in Chicago.
Q: Last person you called?
A. Sweet Tea

RANDOMOLOGY
Q: First place you went this morning?
A. Bathroom!

Q: What can you not wait to do?
A. Go back to the bathroom.

Q: What’s the last movie you saw?
A. The Last Mimzi

Q: Are you a friendly person?
A. I Guess! Especially if you have money.