Wednesday, August 05, 2009

Definitions By Gender

 

THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female: Any part under a car's hood.
Male: The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female: Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male: Playing football without a helmet.

COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Men: Scrtching out a note before suddenly taking off for a weekend with the boys.

BUTT (but) n.
Female: The body part that every item of clothing manufactured makes "look bigger."
Male: What you slap when someone's scored a touchdown, homerun, or goal and good for mooning.

COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female: A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male: Not trying to pick up other women while out with one's wife or girlfriend.

ENTERTAINMENT: (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female: A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male: Anything that can be done while drinking.

FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female: An embarrassing by-product fo digestion.
Male: An endless source of entertainment, self-expression and male bonding.

MAKING LOVE (may-king-luv) n.
Female: The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male: Call it whatever you want just as long as we end up in bed.

REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht-kon-trohl) n.
Female: A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male: A device for scanning through all 75 channels every three minuets.

I'm sure you know others...let's have'em!
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12 comments:

  1. The older I get, the more I see how true this all is.

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  2. This is utterly hilarious and oh so true!!!!

    :-D


    :-D


    :-D

    You made my day!

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  3. Christine, Female sees this as true.
    Male see this as a funny joke.

    Sarge, that's me, percolating to please.

    Mary, you always laugh at my stuff. If I had fans, you would be the president of my fan club. But I don’t have fans…just, mostly, lurkers and stalkers.

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  4. Thanks for the laugh this morning!

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  5. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  6. Red, 'welcome!

    BD and women are at the mall.

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  7. SUPPER:

    wife: a necessary daily obligation
    husband: I'm hungry

    It's like magic! he says "I'm hungry" and food appears!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Uhhuh
    what a woman says when she's listening
    what a man says when he's not

    ReplyDelete