I'm BAAAACCCCKKKK

                              TA DAH!!!
           (wild clapping; cheering; whistling)

I'm back. Last Saturday I made myself disappear and now I have made myself reappear.

Thank you! I’ll be here all week! Thank you (taking a bow)

Now I’ll fill you in of some of what happened during my disappearing act on our vacation (without boring you to tears, I hope).

Our plan was to leave around 8:00 p.m. and drive all night to get to Miami where we were to spend Sunday night before boarding the ship on Monday. Then we noticed that Mater Bug (named after my grandkids - J-Man is now Mater) the awesome GPS told us we would be arriving at the Miami motel at 6:00 a.m. Since check-in is usually in the afternoon, we didn’t know what to do with ourselves till then, so we opted to get a motel on the way down, sleep in and drive the last 4 or 5 hours to Miami. It worked out great.

On Monday, we boarded the ship early and enjoyed her offerings until we set sail about 5:00 p.m. We were at sea all day on Tuesday, docking on the island of Roatan, Honorius on Wednesday. We spent the day on the Pirate Ship, Black Pearl, with Capt. Jack Sparrow and his crew sailing and learning about the island and her history. We arrived back in time to depart and sail the night away heading to Cozumel, Mexico.

There we went on a snorkeling excursion. The sea over the coral reef was a little choppy and this 66 year old man had a hard time keeping up. First, the gave is short fins used for snorkeling. Not the long fins that let you move swiftly through the water. So I was snorkeling my ass off when I looked up and the boat was around 300 miles away and the rest of the snorkelers were about 25 yards behind me. With the swells and the tide, I was having a difficult time getting back. Also the boat was now 350 miles on my left. WTF??? But I kept trying, rolled over on my back and used the legs to get me to them. I look around and every one is in another location. So I give the guide the ‘I need fucking help right now’ sign (tapping the top of your heard - I like to beat my brains out…)

He swims over and ask if I am okay. I tell him yes, I always flail my arms and drink mouthfuls’ of sea water when I snorkel. It adds to the experience. So he calls me a smart ass (in Spanish, I think that was what he said) and got me a ring to float on and stay with the others. I still enjoyed it. I saw a stingray, and fish swimming around my head and mask - I even touched one - and many fish on the bottom. It was great.

I made pictures of all of this to this point. Over 200 of them.

From the snorkeling we went to a cool beach and had a late lunch and beach time. Bug and Judy went riding in a paddle boat in the bay. Mater asked me to go with him, since he wasn’t eighteen, so I said okay. I put my camera in the pocket of my trunks, got on board and paddled out to about 12 feet of water - slip, plop, splash - my camera is now at the bottom of the bay looking back at me.

Twelve feet of moving ocean is not the easiest body of water to dive in, by the way. But by the time we recovered the camera, the batteries were hot as hell and the camera was ruined. The ‘stick’ is so corroded from the salt we couldn’t retrieve any of the pictures. I was sick. On Monday I will take it to a camera specialist and see if anything can be done.

But the rest of the trip, the whole week, was great. It was great to be a sea again. And the shows and food and Bloody-Mary’s were great. Beer was cold and the bread fresh, the people on the ship very fun. Bug, my very shy granddaughter, on her own, without any prompting from me, got up and sang an Karoki night, then did a duet with a new friend she made who is also 12 years old. I was so proud of her. And Mater latched on to a very active 8 year old boy and was his buddy the whole trip. He has a hear of gold and loves little people. I am a blessed man.

So we got in on Saturday morning and was on the road home by 10 a.m. We also decided to stay overnight at a motel on the way home, so we drove up to Ocala and stayed the night. The kiddies are home now and I am resting.

I missed you guys. I couldn’t get on the computer (I could if I paid $100 for the week and .45 cents a minute) so I am now just getting to read your stuff and all, but I think I am going to bed early tonight.

I’ll catch up tomorrow.
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