Tuesday, October 24, 2006

I'm Out Of Here

I am going to NJ to meet Sweet Tea for a few days, maybe a week. I have to deliver some dogs and cats for my vet-daughter, too. She does animal rescue and I deliver animals to other states for her as she needs it. So I will be stopping off in NC and PA for deliveries and to pee. I was going to fly to NJ, but she needed help, so…

I don’t know if I will have access to a computer or not, but if I do I’ll keep in touch. If not, I’ll have a shit-pot full of reading when I get back.

Bye, y’all

Sunday, October 22, 2006


Sweet Tea is in N.J. for a few weeks and I miss her so much. I found a poem I thought she might appreciate. What do you think?

Collards is green,
My dog’s name is Blue,
And I’m so lucky
To have a sweet thang like you.

Yore hair is like con silk
A-flapping in the breeze.
Softer than Blue’s
And without all them fleas.

You move like the bass
Which excite me in May?
You ain’t got no scales
But I luv you anyway.

Yo’re as satisfy’n as okry
Just a-fry’n in the pan.
Yo’re as fragrant as “snuff”
Right out of the can.

You have some’a yore teeth,
For which I am proud:
I hold my head high
When we’re in a crowd.

On special occasions,
When you shave under yore arms,
Well, I’m in hawg heaven,
And awed by yore charms.

Still them fellers at work,
They all want to know,
What I did to deserve
Such a purdy, young doe.

Like a good roll of duct tape
Yo’re there fer yore man,
To patch up life’s troubles
And fiux what you can.

Yo’re as cute as a junebug
a-buzzin’ overhead.
You ain’t mean like those fire ants
I found in my bed.

Your cut from the best cloth
Like a plaid flannel shirt,
You park up my life
More than a fresh load of dirt.

When you hold me real tight
Like a padded gunrack,
My life is complete;
Ain’t nuttin’ I lack.

Yore complexion, it’s perfection,
Like the best vinyl sidin’
Despite all the years,
Yore age, it keeps hidin’.

Me ‘n’ you’s like a Moon Pie
With a RC cold drank,
We go together
Like a skunk goes with stank.

Some men, they buy chocolate
For Valentine’s Day;
They git it at Wal-Mart,
It’s romantic that way.

Some men git roses
On that special day
From the cooler at Kroger.
“That’s impressive,” I say.

Some men buy fine diamonds
From a flea market booth.
“Diamonds are forever,”
They explain, suave and couth.

But for this man, honey,
These won’t do.
Cause yor’e too special,
You sweet thang you.

I got you a gift,
Without taste or oder,
More useful than diamonds…

What do you think folks? Will this melt her heart? Maybe when I get up there next Wednesday, I’ll hold her in my arms and tell her that her eyes look like two hen turds in a bowl of clabber, and that her ears are as cute as mud flaps on a gopher’s ass. Yep! That should do it.

Friday, October 20, 2006

More of the same except


Except, Sweet Tea is in New Jersey for the next three weeks, so I do not have to take her a tea in the afternoon for awhile. That really messes up my routine. But I will adjust. Besides, I went to a friend of ours 40 birthday party tonight. She is a single mom of two girls – one in college and one in middle school. She is a sweetheart and is a lot of fun to be around. I think she is gay. It’s okay if she is, but… She has a boyfriend and they are real cute together. But she has the butch hair combed back like a man. She wears men’s shirts, jeans and loafers. And all of this doesn’t mean shit, but I wonder. I have always heard that it takes one to know one, and since I admit to being a lesbian, well…

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Why I Don't Blog More

My daughter and niece think I should publish more on this blog. Why? As my bio say’s I am old and I’m boring, and, besides, what would I write about? I enjoy reading other people’s blogs and making an occasional comment, but that’s about it.

Well, let me try by letting you know a little about my life. I am retired. I do an occasional accounting function (billing and receivables, and bank recon for a friend in the insurance business) that takes all of 10 hours a month. I read, watch TV and review my daughters blog pals sites.

I wake up in the morning between 8:00 am and 10:00 am. I piss. I know! That’s a bit of information you probably didn’t need to know, but it’s a big part of my day. It feels good and makes me happy.

I then go downstairs and make a cup of coffee, check out the computer, watch GMA, Regis and Kelly, either Montel or Magnum PI and The View if there is someone of interest on there that will make it worth me having to set though an hour of Rosie O’Donnell. Then I go get some lunch.

I piss again, or anything else that might need to be taken care of. It seems the most activity I get during the day is pissing. I have an enlarged prostate and take Flowmax to control it, but it still feels good so I look forward to the next time I have to go.

I read some more, take a nap, and pee. I know I need to get out and do things. I thought about walking, but I laid down on the couch until the feeling passed, then I was alright. Especially after I peeded.

I started going to the senior center here in town. I volunteered my time and set up their member files on the computer, set up forms to keep track of their trips, showed them how to build a program in Excel to forecast their budgets, etc. After that it got boring. I don’t have anything in common with those old people, except that I am a veteran. But those guys are heroes - WWII, Korea and Viet Nam COMBAT veterans. I have too much respect for them to set and claim I am a veteran. It’s just not the same thing.

Anyway, I wait for my wife, Sweet Tea (or Me Maw), to get off work and go to her second job at Home Depot. I meet her and hand off a sweet tea to get her through the shift. I feel guilty about this, but with my lower back and general health, I cannot put in the hours of standing and walking that is required for most jobs, and I DO NOT want to go back into the corporate world again. So we are working on some things for the future but, until then, she will do the two job thing.

In the evening I take the dogs out for their afternoon constitutional, and, yes, I pee with them out side. Because it feels good.

I watch TV until Sweet Tea gets home, then we discuss stuff before she goes to bed. I usually mosey up to join her around 2:00 AM. Then it starts over. So if I am to keep a daily blog, all I will have to do tomorrow is say, “Ditto.” Then the next day, “Ditto.” So on and so forth until something actually happens in my life. I will say the Monday I go for training as a pole worker for the upcoming elections. And the day before and the day after the elections in November I will be going around placing precinct signs at the poling places and picking the up after the elections. Those three days, plus the training, will cut sharply into my peeing time. And I’m not to happy about that.