As you all know, today is Memorial Day. A day when we pay homage to our fallen heroes from all wars.
I am posting two YouTube videos that touch me deeply. They are both the same song by Trace Atkins (Trace Rocks) but with different videos. They are the best of the best and honors those who deserve the praise.
I posted this one last year, but it is so powerful that it deserves to be posted again. I really like that he takes off his hat in a salute to the Cadets standing behind them. They are the one’s who will be carrying on the defense of our Nation.
This is the same song, but the pictures are ones I have never seen before and is produced by a Cadet in the class of 2012.
I so totally agree that we need to pray for peace. Strongly and often.
But I also know that as long as there are men and women who craves one more dollar, a little more power, a stronger stance in their religion, or wants something someone else has, peace will never be.
Every generation since Adam has had their war or conflict, and I don’t believe this will ever change. Sadly we will loose our young, and if we are not watchful, we will be loosing more than that. That is why we need a strong, well funded and supplied military.
But for today, it is about those who gave their all for what ever reason they were fighting. The Georgia Monument on the Gettysburg battlefield states, “…We sleep here in obedience; When duty called, we came; When country called, we died”
As it is with all our heroes.
Personally, I will be honoring my buddy Dan's friends, the 74 lost with the sinking of my ship, and a wonderful artist, Bobby Kro, who just passed away. He was a Marine who also has a Marine son being deployed for his second tour this month. My pal, Ed, said in a comment, "Men like this make me embarassed and unworthy to call myself a veteran."
God bless them all and peace for the families they left behind. .
Memorial Day is set aside to remember and honor those who have made the ultimate sacrifice in all wars fought. I thank the families who raised the caliber of men and women who went in harms way for a bigger cause, and I send you my heartfelt condolences for your loss.
Monday is Memorial Day for our American men and women who have made the ultimate sacrifice. In all your festivities this weekend, please take just a second to give a silent prayer of thanks, or just a moment of silence if you do not pray, for those who sacrificed so you can enjoy this day.
Many of you will be posting about this day. This is my Memorial Day contribution:
The HBO series, The Pacific, was based in part on a book by Robert Leckie (Dec. 18, 1920 - Dec 24, 2001) a former Marine of the 1st Division who fought as a machine-gunner in every battle of the Pacific except Okinawa (because he was recovering from a blast concussion received on Peleiu.) This poem was take from his first book written in 1957, ‘Helmet For My Pillow - From Parris Island to the Pacific.’
The Battle of the Tenaru, August 21, 1942 by Robert Leckie
A helmet for my pillow, A poncho for my bed, My rifle rests across my chest- The stars swing overhead.
The whisper of the kunai, The murmur of the sea, The sighing palm and night so calm Betray no enemy.
Hear! river bank so silent You men who sleep around That foreign scream across the stream- Up! Fire at the sound!
Sweeping over the sandspit That blocks the Tenaru With Banzai-boast a mushroomed host Vows to destroy our few.
Into your holes and gunpits! Kill them with rifles and knives! Feed them with lead until they are dead- And widowed are their wives.
Sons of the mothers who gave you Honor and gift of birth Strike with the knife till blood and life Run out upon the earth.
Marines, keep faith with your glory Keep to your trembling hole. Intruder feel of Nippon steel Can't penetrate your soul.
Closing, they charge all howling Their breasts all targets large. The gun must shake, the bullets make A slaughter of their charge.
Red are the flashing tracers, Yellow the bursting shells. Hoarse is the cry of men who die Shrill are the woundeds' yells.
God, how the night reels stricken! She shrieks with orange spark. The mortar's lash and cannon's crash Have crucified the dark.
Falling, the faltering foemen Beneath our guns lie heaped. By greenish glare of rocket's flare We see the harvest reaped.
Now has the first fierce onslaught Been broken and hammered back. Hammered and hit, from hole and pit- We rise up to attack!
Day bursts pale from a gun tube, The gibbering night has fled. By light of dawn the foe has drawn A line behind his dead.
Our tanks clank in behind him, Our riflemen move out. Their hearts have met our bayonet- It's ended wit a shout.
"Cease fire!" -the words go ringing, Over the heaps of the slain. The battle's won, the Rising Sun Lies riddled on the plain.
St. Michael, angel of battle We praise you to God on high. The foe you gave was strong and brave And unafraid to die.
Speak to the Lord for our comrades, Killed when the battle seemed lost. They went to meet a bright defeat- The hero's holocaust.
False is the vaunt of the victor, Empty our living pride. For those who fell there is no hell- Not for the brave who died. . .
It's Friday and time for more of Ward's weekly postings. Check out the sampling below. Dude has the bestest stuff.
Where is he you ask? I SAID, WHERE IS HE YOU ASKED? That's better. He is one half of a cool team living in the frozen tundra of Wisconsin. The other half of the duo calls herself June (because she is in charge of The Beaver) and they are on my roll list as Three’s A Charm.
Go on over and check out this funny lady and Ward’s Friday Postings.
Let’s put the seniors in jail - and the criminals in a nursing homes!
This way the seniors would have access to showers, hobbies, and walks. They’d receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs, etc. and they’d receive money instead of paying it out.
They would have constant video monitoring so the could be helped instantly if they fell or needed assistance. Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them.
A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and snacks to their cell. They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.
The seniors would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual counseling, pool and educational training.
Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, P.J.’s and legal aid would be free on request. Private secure rooms for all, with an exercise yard outdoors with gardens.
Each senior could have a P.C. a T.V., radio and daily phone calls.
There would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and guards would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to.
The “criminals”, on the other hand, would get cold food, be left all alone and unsupervised.
They would have lights off at 8 p.m., and showers once a week. They would live in a tiny room and pay $5,000.00 per month and have no hope of ever getting out.
The past two days have been spent on Lake Allatoona with the Judy, J-Man and Bug. Some sunburn and plenty of laughs, it was a great two days.
Here are a few pictures made while enjoying the kiddies. By the way, looking at J-Man is looking at Coffeypot at fourteen. He is my doppelganger. My mini-me. But he is smarter and less afraid of the girls than I was.
Heading out to open water!
Bug's Lake Glamor Shot!
J-Man loves the water, especiall swimming under the surface.
My Water Nymph!
Jumping from the boat onto Big Bertha into the water.
Taking a break.
He wanted to stand up on the tube. The first two time he fell over and I ask him if he wanted to stop. He said no that the third time is a charm. He rode it like a champ, even when I had the boat wide open. The boy loves the water.
(Redneck Mobil Home) A recent study found out which days rednecks prefer to have sex. It was found that men preferred to engage in sexual activity on the days that started with the letter "T".
Examples of those days are as follows:
A recent survey was conducted to discover why rednecks get out of bed in the middle of the night:
5% said it was to get a glass of water
12% said it was to go to the toilet
83% said it was to go home __________________________________
A young boy, about 12, opened the door.
"Is yer paw home?" the farmer asked.
"No sir, he ain't," the boy replied. "He went into town."
"Well," said the farmer, "is yer maw here?"
"No, sir, she ain't here neither. She went into town with paw."
"How about your brother, Howard. Is he here?"
"He went with maw and paw."
The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other and mumbling to himself.
"Is there anything I can do fer ya?" the boy asked politely. "I knows where all the tools are, if you want to borry one. Or maybe I could take a message fer paw."
"Well," said the farmer uncomfortably, "I really wanted to talk to yer paw. It's about your brother Howard getting my daughter, Pearly Mae, pregnant."
The boy considered for a moment. "You would have to talk to Pa about that", he finally conceded. "If it helps you any, I know that Pa charges $50 for the bull and $25 for the hog, but I really don't know how much he gets fer Howard."
Ain’t been ‘round much lately. I was on another dog run this weekend to Carmel, Menands, and Niskayuna, NY. For some reason this was a very tiring trip and I had to stop a little over a hundred miles before my usual rest stop in Winchester, VA. I was in Harrisburg, PA, and had no time to do my usual nude blogging before I fell asleep. When I got home around 8:00 p.m. I fell asleep in my chair. I didn’t even hook up the pc until a few minutes ago.
This morning Judy and I picked up Marni and the grandkids and headed out to here: (click to biggersize) The day was beautiful. No rain, for a change, and the temp was in the high eighties and low nineties with a slight breeze. Though it was getting pretty hot when we left.
Tomorrow I will be taking my sister to the doctor, then meeting Judy and the grandkids at the lake for some afternoon boating and swimming. Probably the same thing tomorrow. Love the summer time.
I will be checking on you peeps along the way, but I may not post anything until later on in the week. Just don’t give up on me and leave. I’m here, just busy. . .
We lost a true American Hero. He was not well known as in Hollywood fame, but well know and respected, if not awed, by those who follow military history.
Robert Lewis (Bob) Howard (July 11, 1939 – December 23, 2009) was a highly decorated United States Army soldier and Medal of Honor recipient of the Vietnam War. He was wounded 14 times over 54 months of combat, was awarded 8 Purple Hearts, 4 Bronze Stars, and was nominated for the Medal of Honor three separate times. He was laid to rest at Arlington National Cemetary on February 22, 2010.
I ran across this list of Girlie things and, since I am always looking for ways to get laid, I thought y’all might get a chuckle or learn something by reading this. It if worked, call me.
1. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.
2. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3.I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me!
4. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
5. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
6. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
7. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
8. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
9. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
10. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are missing.
11. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
12. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
13. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
14. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
15. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
16. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
17. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!
18. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
19. Procrastinate Now!
20. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
21. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
22. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
23. Stupidity is not a handicap.Park elsewhere!
24. They call it PMS because MadCow Disease was already taken.
25. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.
26. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
27. Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
28. The trouble with life is there's no background music.
29. The original point and click interface was a Smith and Wesson.
30. I smile! Because I don't know what the hell is going on.
31. A friend of mine confused her Valium with her birth control pills... she has 14 kids but she doesn't really care..
32. One of life's mysteries is how a 2-pound box of chocolates can make a woman gain 5 lbs.
33. My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely.
34. The best way to forget your troubles is to wear tight shoes.
35. The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you are doing, someone else does.
36. The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends..
37. Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.
38. Sometimes I think I understand everything, and then I regain consciousness.
39. I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting fire to my panties.
40. Amazing! You hang something in your closet, for a while, and it shrinks 2 sizes!
41. Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like...'You know sometimes I forget to eat!' .....Now, I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name, and my keys, but I have never forgotten to eat.. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat!
42. The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing -- and then they marry him.
43. I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, impulse buying, and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That's my idea of a perfect day!
One last class before graduation at the Naval Academy and the instructor gave the final assignment.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, you have been given one metal pole, two bags of cement, a selection of shovels, a wheel barrow, and other tools necessary, plus One Navy Chief, one Petty Officer and a selection of Seamen.
Describe the process you take to erect the pole so that a flag hung from it can be seen from X number of feet away.
You have two hours to complete this assignment.
The almost Ensigns began to write with concentration.
At the end of two hours, the Instructor called time and collected the papers.
Paging through the papers, he announced to the grades. "Ladies and Gentlemen, there are some thorough and detailed responses here, but only one response ranks an "A", I would like to read it to you. I predict that this young man will go far in his Naval Career."
"In order to erect the flag pole, I would do the following:
I would say, 'Chief, get the flagpole put up' and then I would leave the area."
Don't know for sure, but these are suppose to be true. You be the judge.
However, if you don't understand any of them, then add yourself to the list.
IDIOT SIGHTING: When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door.
As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.
'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'It's open!'
His reply: 'I know. I already got that side.'
This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, MS
IDIOT SIGHTING: We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, then said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.
He shook his head negatively, and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4.
He said, 'NO, it's not.' Four is larger than two.'
We haven't used Sears repair since.
IDIOT SIGHTING: My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter.
She said, 'You gave me too much money.'
I said, 'Yes, I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back. She sighed and went to get the manager, who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said 'We're sorry, but we could not do that kind of thing.'
The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.
Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.
IDIOT SIGHTING: I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road.
The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'
From Kingman, KS
IDIOT SIGHTING: My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'
He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.
From Kansas City
IDIOT SIGHTING: I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'
To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'
He smiled knowingly, then nodded and said, 'That's why we ask.'
Happened in Birmingham , Ala.
IDIOT SIGHTING: The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'
She's a probation officer in Wichita, KS
IDIOT SIGHTING: At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to 'downsizing,' our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more often.'
Not another word was spoken.
We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.
This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.
IDIOT SIGHTING: I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and, for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.
A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriff's office, no less.
IDIOT SIGHTING: How would you pronounce this child's name?
Leah?? NO Lee - A?? NOPE Lay - a?? NO Lei?? Guess Again.
This child attends a school in Kansas City, Mo. Her mother is irate because everyone is getting her name wrong.
It's pronounced "Ledasha."
When the mother was asked about the pronunciation of the name, she said, "The dash don't be silent."
STAY ALERT, PEEPS! They walk among us...and they VOTE and REPRODUCE! . .
Always trying to find a good home for the less fortunate. You're welcome!
In all due respect to Jeff Foxworthy: Ya might be a Redneck if..... ...You think the nutcracker is something you did off the high dive. ...You wont stop at a rest area if you have a empty beer can in the car. ...You think Iraq is top-of-the-line Camaro. ...Your spring wardrobe mostly involves scissors. ...you know at least 6 ways to bend a baseball cap. ...you own a lava lamp that’s over 5 feet tall. ...there are more than 10 cats living under your trailer. ...you've ever thrown up in a squad car. ...your first bra was a Wonder Bra. ...you've ever had to appear in court due to your dogs. ...You think Thunderbird is an acceptable wine choice with a bean burrito. ...your grandma enters wet t-shirt contests. ...your local grocery store also has a few pool tables. ...your septic tank is the subject of a petition. ...you have ever tried to use food stamps to mail a watermelon. ...you had to hitchhike on your honeymoon. ...your car and its motor are more than ten feet apart. ...stealing road signs is a family outing. ...your brother-in-law is also your uncle. ...you sent out birth announcements for your new blue-tick puppies. ...you've changed a diaper on a Denny's table. ...you've ever named a child for a good dog. ...your T.V. is on 24-7. ...your last keg party included a couple of 911 calls. ...you have to mow around a refrigerator and a bed frame. ...you've ever taken a date flowers you stole from a cemetery. ...everyone in the house learns something from the potty training videotape. ...diners change tables when your family sits near them. ...your prom dress was knitted. ...you were born with a plastic spoon in your mouth. ...your bridal veil was made of window screen. ...you think people who have electricity are uppity. ...your college graduation ceremony includes parallel parking an 18-wheeler. ...the Marlboro man is your idol. ...all your golf balls come in egg cartons.
And for the more educated redneck:
A visiting professor at Texas A & M University is giving a seminar on the supernatural. To get a feel for his audience, he asks: "How many people here believe in ghosts?" About 90 students raise their hands.
"Well that's a good start. Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you've ever seen a ghost?" About 40 students raise their hands.
"That's really good. I'm really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost? 15 students raise their hands.
"That's a great response. Now, has anyone here ever touched a ghost?"
Three students raise their hands.
"That's fantastic. But let me ask you one question further. Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?"
One student in the back raises his hand. The professor is astonished. He takes off his glasses, takes a step back, and says, "Son, all the years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have slept with a ghost. You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience."
The redneck student replies with a nod and a grin, and begins to make his way up to the podium.
The professor says, "Well, tell us what it's like to have sex with a ghost."
The student replies, "Ghost? Damn! From back there I thought you said 'goats'!" . .
Today is Armed Forces Day. It is a day to remember all those who have gone before us and those who are serving our nation today - with some being in harms way. But in all the writings and videos and television coverage, the focus is on the Army, Marines and Air Force who are serving in Iraq and Afghanistan. But there are two other branches that do not get much coverage (unless it is to show jets being launched or recovered on a carrier) and they are the sea going US Navy and US Coast Guard.
One owns the oceans of the world, the other owns the coast lines of the US. And let it be know that some of the bravest men and women in the world are those sailors of the US Coast Guard. When the weather is foul and small vessels are called into port, the USCG is heading out to make sure they get in safe. They patrol our coast searching for drug runners, for boats and ships in distress, for illegal aliens trying to sneak into the country. And the sky’s are full of choppers pulling people out of rough seas, sinking ships and off stranded boats. Rock on Dudes.
The other is the US Navy. We didn’t get shot at like the Army, Air Force and Marines, but the duty at sea is just as dangerous. And interesting. It is a way different life style than the dirt pounding, sand scraping, dust eating, bullet dodging dudes we revere who are in harms way. In ’06 I posted the below and though I would bring it back today in honor of the dudes and dudettes on the sea and serving at Naval Stations across the globe. And to give you a little look at my fellow shipmates who ride the waves of the world.
Life At Sea I was watching an old movie about the US Navy and life at sea. It is amazing how they depict life on a Navy ship. And for you landlubbers (except for a submarine) large surface vessels are called SHIPS. A boat goes on a ship or taxies sailors from a ship to sore. A submarine, though, is called a boat from tradition. Anyway, I watch the movie and noticed that everyone walked normal. No one swayed, staggered or held on to objects as they move around the ship. Coffee cups sat on the tables and desks without support. Curtains (on a Navy ship?!?) did not swing to and fro. The only time I ever saw conditions like that was when we were in dry docks.
There are two things that are constant on a ship; movement and noise. Even on a calm day, which is rare, the ship is still moving up and down and left to right. With three foot swells you are walking up hill leaning to the right then down hill leaning to the left. During a storm or typhoon (especially a typhoon) a wise seaman will go from uncomfortable to petrified in a matter of seconds. The ship I was on (USS Frank E. Evans DD754 seen above) could take a 45 degree roll and still recover, but if a wave hit her again while at this angle, she could role on over. Many have. So, as a cocky 18 year old, sitting on a radar scope having fun like I was at Six Flags on a roller coaster and I see a man with many years of sea experience turn white and swallow hard, it is pretty obvious that I should rethink my situation and be concerned. But those were the extremes. Mostly it is just movement.
On normal sea duty you eat, sleep, work and relax with constant noise and movement. You learn to eat with one hand while holding the food tray with the other, trying to keep it level. You stand with your legs spread wide and knees slightly bent to absorb the jolts and swings. If for some reason you wake up and it is totally quiet, you don’t ask what’s going on. You get you ass topside and on the main deck as soon as you can. If everything is okay, you can go back for your clothes later. If not, then you have a better chance of survival than being trapped blow deck (like 74 sailors, one my friend, when the Evans was cut in half in 69’ and the front half went down in under three minuets.)
Despite the danger and all, it was still a pretty good life. There’s danger in everything we do, so you don’t dwell on that aspect. You just stay aware of what is around you at all times. So the next time you watch a movie about the Navy, remember it’s just a movie. If you want to know what it is really like, talk to a sailor (and thank him/her for serving while we slept safe and comfortable.)
As the saying goes, "If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you can read this in English, thank a vet."
Thanks, guys and gals, for being there and making our country a better and safer place to live (regardless of how much Obama is trying to screw it up) and for giving of yourself of much less pay than you could make in civilian life. You are truly my heroes.. .
Last night Judy and I drove over to see the grandkids in their end of year band concert. J-Man plays the trumpet and Bug plays the flute (though I kid her about it being a piccolo.) I am proud of their music ability and the bands sound really good. No toot, toot and honk, honk. They played real music.
But the thing that gave me a few smiles is J-Man has a girlfriend. Not surprising because he is a good looking kid with a big heart. But he is so shy. Girls flirt with him at the store and the mall all the time, and we try to get him to go talk to them, but he won’t.
Well…last night he got in the car with his mom to go to the school and he ask her, “What has two thumbs and has a girlfriend?” Then he stuck his two thumbs up and pointed them back at himself and said cockily, “This guyyy.” She is in the band, too, though in the seventh grade band (J-Man is in the eight grade band.) Her name is Tessa and she is cute as can be. After this picture was made (by Bug on her cell phone - no adult was allowed to see this in person) she gave him a kiss on the cheek. The Hussy!
And read below, too. I got a couple of cool awards from some very cool ladies. Yeah, J-Man takes after his Paw Paw alright. . .
I have some good new and some bad news. First the good stuff…
Many people, and even a few among you, think that I don’t have a clew. Well I got news for yah. I not only have a clew, but I got an award from her. She gave me this award, not because I am one of the girls (though I do like being among the girls - especially when booze and nudity is involved) but because she is my friend.
I believe Clew is the one who has been with me the longest and though she post sporadically, she does pen a great blog. Smart lady this one. Go visit her and make her your best friend, too.
This next award is right up my alley. The Sex and Fun Award is from two NY ladies, Lizzie and Ellie, who write about adult stuff in a fun way. You need to hop over to Sex N Fries and read there cool stuff and give your opinions on their surveys.
Guaranteed to wet your whistle, blow your skirt, cock your pistol and completed keep you informed and entertained. Go on. Get over there, now.
And Thank You, Ladies for these two awards.
Ohm Yeah! The Bad News…I don’t follow directions, I buck authority, and I don’t do what I’m told unless sex is involved.
With this disclaimer out of the way, let it be known that I rarely, if ever, forward awards. Mainly because I admire and enjoy ALL my peeps and I will not pick out one over the other. Don’t like it? Bit me!
So I’ll just award these to all of you who want them. Feel free, please. If you want the rules to post on your sites, go to Clew or SnF and see what you have to do.
Several years ago, Great Britain funded a study to determine why the head on a mans' penis is larger than the shaft. The study took two years and cost over $1.2 million. The study concluded that the reason the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft was to provide the man with more pleasure during sex.
After the results were published, France decided to conduct their own study on the same subject. They were convinced that the results of the British study was incorrect. After three years of research at a cost of in excess of $2 million, the French researchers concluded that the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft to provide the woman with more pleasure during sex.
When the results of the French study were released, Australia decided to conduct their own study. The Aussies didnt really trust British or French studies. So, after nearly three hours of intensive research and a cost of right around $75.00 ( 3 cases of beer), the Aussie study was complete. They concluded that the reason the head on a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to prevent your hand from flying off and hitting you in the forehead!
A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children.
'You all have obsessions, he observed.'
To the first mother, Mary, he said, 'You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy.'
He turned to the second Mom, Ann, 'Your obsession is with money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny.'
He turned to the third Mom, Joyce, 'Your obsession is alcohol. This too shows itself in your child's name, Brandy.'
At this point, the fourth Mother, Kathy, quietly got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered, 'Come on, Dick, this guy has no idea what he's talking about. Lets pick up Peter and Willy from school and go get dinner.'
I received this email today and it is just too important to just forward to you peeps. As part of my continuing attempts to educate you to the ways of the world and to help you understand the English language, I felt I had to post this. So ignore the forward to your peeps comment at the bottom (unless, of course, you want to email it to your peeps.)
This two-letter word in English has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that word is 'UP.'
It is listed in the dictionary as an [adv], [prep], [adj], [n] or [v].
It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP?
At a meeting, why does a topic come UP?
Why do we speak UP, and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report? We call UP our friends, brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and fix UP the old car.
At other times this little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.
To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special. And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP.
We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night. We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP!
To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look UP the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4 of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions.
If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more.
When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP. When it rains, it soaks UP the earth. When it does not rain for awhile, things dry UP. When you are sick you throw UP.
One could go on & on, but I'll wrap it UP, for now my time is UP!
Oh...one more thing: What is the first thing you do in the morning & the last thing you do at night?
Did that one crack you UP?
Don't screw UP. Send this on to everyone you look UP in your address book…or not...it's UP to you.
Don't forget when your angry at someone it's Up Yours!!!!!
A teenage boy had just passed his driving test and, as any teenager would, asked his father when they could discuss his use of the car.
His father said he'd make a deal: 'You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut. Then we'll talk about the car.'
They agreed on it.
After about six weeks his father said, 'Son, you've brought your grades up and I've observed that you have been studying your Bible, but I'm disappointed you haven't had your hair cut.
The boy said, 'You know, Dad, I've been thinking about that, and I've noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair...and there's even strong evidence that Jesus had long hair.'
His father replied, 'Did you also notice they all walked everywhere they went?'
“A French Infantryman's View of American Soldiers” by Jean-Marc Liotier
The US often hears echoes of worldwide hostility against the application of its foreign policy, but seldom are they reached by the voices of those who experience first hand how close we are to the USA. In spite of contextual political differences and conflicting interests that generate friction, we do share the same fundamental values - and when push comes to shove that is what really counts. Through the eyes of that French OMLT (Operational Mentoring Liaison Teams) infantryman you can see how strong the bond is on the ground.
This is a rare and moving testimony which is why I decided to translate it into English, so that American people can catch a glimpse of the way European soldiers see them.
Not much high philosophy here, just the first hand impressions of a soldier in contact - but that only makes it more authentic.
And here is my translation:
We have shared our daily life with two US units for quite a while- they are the first and fourth companies of a prestigious infantry battalion whose name I will withhold for the sake of military secrecy. To the common man it is a unit just like any other. But we live with them and got to know them, and we henceforth know that we have the honor to live with one of the most renowned units of the US Army - one that the movies brought to the public as a series showing "ordinary soldiers thrust into extraordinary events". Who are they, those soldiers from abroad, how is their daily life, and what support do they bring to the men of our OMLT every day?
They have a terrible strong American accent- from our point of view the language they speak is not even English. How many times did I have to write down what I wanted to say rather than waste precious minutes trying various pronunciations of a seemingly common word? Whatever state they are from, no two accents are alike and they even admit that in some crisis situations they have difficulties understanding each other.
Heavily built, fed at the earliest age with Gatorade, proteins and creatine, (Heh. More like Waffle House and McDonalds) - they are all heads and shoulders taller than us and their muscles remind us of Rambo. Our frames are amusingly skinny to them - we are wimps, even the strongest of us - and because of that they often mistake us for Afghans.
Here we discover America as it is often depicted: their values are taken to their paroxysm, often amplified by the loneliness of this outpost in the middle of that Afghan valley. Honor, motherland - everything here reminds of that: the American flag floating in the wind above the outpost, just like the one on the post parcels.
Even if recruits often originate from the hearth of American cities and gang territory, no one here has any goal other than to hold high and proud the star spangled banner.
Each man knows he can count on the support of a whole people who provides them through the mail all that an American could miss in such a remote front-line location: books, chewing gums, razorblades, Gatorade, toothpaste etc. in such way that every man is aware of how much the American people backs him in his difficult mission. And that is a first shock to our preconceptions: the American soldier is no individualist. The team, the group, the combat team are the focus of all his attention.
And they are impressive warriors! We have not come across bad ones, as strange at it may seem to you when you know how critical French people can be. Even if some of them are a bit on the heavy side, all of them provide us everyday with lessons in infantry know-how. Beyond the wearing of a combat kit that never seem to discomfort them (helmet strap, helmet, combat goggles, rifles etc.) the long hours of watch at the outpost never seem to annoy them in the slightest. On the one square meter wooden tower above the perimeter wall they stand the five consecutive hours in full battle rattle and night vision goggles on top, their sight unmoving in the directions of likely danger. No distractions, no pauses, they are like statues nights and days. At night, all movements are performed in the dark - only a handful of subdued red lights indicate the occasional presence of a soldier on the move. Same with the vehicles whose lights are covered - everything happens in pitch dark even filling the fuel tanks with the JP fuel pump.
And combat? If you have seen Rambo you have seen it all - always coming to the rescue when one of our teams gets in trouble, and always in the shortest delay. That is one of their tricks: they switch from T-shirt and sandals to combat ready in three minutes. Arriving in contact with the enemy, the way they fight is simple and disconcerting: they just charge! They disembark and assault in stride, they bomb first and ask questions later - which cuts any pussyfooting short.
(This is the main area where I'd like to comment. Anyone with a passing knowledge of Kipling knows the lines from Chant Pagan: 'If your officer's dead and the sergeants look white/remember it's ruin to run from a fight./So take open order, lie down, sit tight/And wait for supports like a soldier./)
This, in fact, is the basic philosophy of both British and Continental soldiers. 'In the absence of orders, take a defensive position.' Indeed, virtually every army in the world.
The American soldier and Marine, however, are imbued from early in their training with the ethos: In the Absence of Orders: Attack! Where other forces, for good or ill, will wait for precise orders and plans to respond to an attack or any other 'incident', the American force will simply go, counting on firepower and SOP to carry the day.
This is one of the great strengths of the American force in combat and it is something that even our closest allies, such as the Brits and Aussies (the latter being closer by the way) find repeatedly surprising. No wonder it surprises the hell out of our enemies.
We seldom hear any harsh words, and from 5 AM onwards the camp chores are performed in beautiful order and always with excellent spirit. A passing American helicopter stops near a stranded vehicle just to check that everything is alright; an American combat team will rush to support ours before even knowing how dangerous the mission is - from what we have been given to witness, the American soldier is a beautiful and worthy heir to those who liberated France and Europe.
To those who bestow us with the honor of sharing their combat outposts and who everyday give proof of their military excellence, to those who pay the daily tribute of America's army's deployment on Afghan soil, to those who owned this article, ourselves hoping that we will always remain worthy of them and to always continue hearing them say that we are all the same band of brothers".
Much of this, the various veterans reading will go 'Well, duh. Of course we do our 'camp chores' and stand our posts in good order. There's a reason for them and if we didn't we'd get our heads handed to us eventually. And, yeah, we're in shape. Makes battle easier. The more you sweat, the less you bleed.'
What is hard for most people to comprehend is that this attitude represented only the most elite units of the past. Current everyday conventional boring 'leg infantry' units exceed the PT levels and training levels of most Special Forces during the Vietnam War.
They exceed both of those as well as IQ and educational levels of: Waffen SS, WWII Rangers, WWII Airborne and British 'Commando' units during WWII. Their per-unit combat-functionality is essentially unmeasurable because it has to be compared to something and there's nothing comparable in industrial period combat history.
This group is so much better than 'The Greatest Generation' at war in WWII Vets who really get a close look at how good these kids are stand in absolute awe.
Everyone complains about the quality of 'the new guys..' Don't. The screw-ups of this modern generation are head and shoulders above the 'high-medium' of any past group. Including mine.
This is 'The Greatest Generation' of soldiers. They may never be equaled.
I wish to hell this would actually get reprinted in the NYT.
Ed and Dorothy met while on a singles cruise and Ed fell head over heels for her. When they discovered they lived in the same city only a few miles apart, Ed was ecstatic. He immediately started asking her out when they got home.
Within a couple of weeks, Ed had taken Dorothy to dance clubs, restaurants, concerts, movies, and museums. Ed became convinced that Dorothy was indeed his soul mate and true love. Every date seemed better than the last.
On the one-month anniversary of their first dinner on the cruise ship, Ed took Dorothy to a fine restaurant. While having cocktails and waiting for their salad, Ed said, "I guess you can tell I'm very much in love with you. I'd like a little serious talk before our relationship continues to the next stage. So, before I get a box out of my jacket and ask you a life changing question, it's only fair to warn you, I'm a total golf nut. I play golf, I read about golf, I watch golf on TV. In short, I eat, sleep, and breathe golf. If that's going to be a problem, for us, you'd better say so now!"
Dorothy took a deep breath and responded, "Ed, that certainly won't be a problem. I love you as you are and I love golf too; but, since we're being totally honest with each other, you need to know that for about the last five years I've been a hooker."
Ed‘s smile faded and he said, "I see!"
He looked down at the table, and was quiet for a moment, deep in serious thought.
Finally he looked at her and said, "You know, it's probably because you're not keeping your wrists straight when you hit the ball."
I’m on the road again tonight for an emergency dog transport to NY. Our shelters up there are almost out of dogs and need a few fast. I am driving all that way for six dogs - one a Great Dane. Dudes, that is a big fucking dog. He may have to just lay in the back because we don’t have a cage large enough for him.
The thing is, this is my fourth weekend trip in a row and five out of seven weekends. My butt is not only getting flatter, but it’s getting number, too. Anyone care to give it a massage?
But mostly I haven't seen the grandkids in over a month, and that is definitely not a good thing. I need those little shits in my life.
Anytrip, I’ll check in and read your stuff when I get to the motel on Friday night. May not post or comment, but I will read. So don’t think I’m ignoring you just because I am. By the time I get to the motel, eat, get naked and comfortable, I’m too tired to post. But I will lurk till I fall asleep.
In my last post I told you that I went to the Museum in Forest Park while in St. Louis. I was in the mood to do some dorky stuff.
Well I saw this T-Shirt. I had to get it for Judy. I would not be surprised to see her in the history books one day. She is a brilliant woman with a very high IQ. Very smart lady - She married me didn't she? Very Smart.
Then, when I got home I had this little ditty waiting on me. For you less educated and worldly people (ya know, Democrats) it is a miniature oil lamp.
This is another picture to show you just how small it is.
It is a gift sent to me by one of my milsupport people. She is in the Air Force and is over there playing in the sand right now. But she took the time to find and send me a gift. Cool huh? And a very sweet postcard, too.
But it is defective. I have rubbed that little bastard for hours and not one genie has popped out. It’s so small I thought maybe a midget genie, but nothing.
Anyblisters, I guess the Afghanies use one this small for a night light. Don’t know for sure. But it makes sense to me.
Yeah, yeah! I said Judy was smart. I never claimed to be. Just hicky bate. That’s all.
But I do appreciate the little gift from so far away. We have some really cool people working for us over there - and at home - and on & under the sea - and in the air - and they all are doing it for us.
Okay, it’s my time to post about the TAR weekend. TAR actually stand for Tornado Alley Roundup, and not Travis’s Ass is Rank. It was a great time and sure to become a National Holliday dedicated to the gathering of some of the funniest and hottest people in blogdom. I guess I won’t get to come then, but it will be a hoot for those who do.
A few years ago I had the opportunity to spend several months in St. Louis and fell in love with the place. There is mucho history (next to sex, my favorite subject and interest) and beautiful old buildings and houses. And such was the grand old hotel we stayed in. It is the Drury Hotel right next to the old train station.
The insides still have much of the original décor, even down to the old board that held the room keys. So I was excited to see what my view would be out side my window. It is always a treat to go into a motel/hotel room and see what is outside; what the scenery will be. So I was excited to see what bit of history I would be able to look at during my stay. I was on the first floor and this is what I saw when I threw back the curtains.
That rust has to be old.
The Drury made up for the view by providing 3 FREE ALCHOLE BEVERAGES as well as free food like hotdogs, chicken fingers, baked taters, salad and stuff. Also free breakfasts of eggs, waffles, fruit, biscuit and grave, coffee and juice. Pretty cool, huh?
Ed of Ed's Funny Pages and I met up first. Then Bambi of rxBambi and Barb of Sassy and Ginger, two hot sisters, finally found us after cruse’n the lobby like a couple of…uh…ladies who were lost…yea…that’s the ticket. Anysearch, they found Ed and me.
Anybooze, this is a picture of us going to get our free drinks.
Then The TravisesI Like To Fish and Kid Funk showed up. This is Travis, KF and Ed.
So after this group finished all their three drinks we decided to go eat some real food at the Hard Rock Café. This is the group staggering…uh…waddling…ummm…walking over the old station to feed and imbibe.
While there the music got to Travis and Kid Funk. KF would bust some moves at the table, but when the song YMCA came on, Travis stood up and was doing the hand motions. So one of the waitresses drug him up to the front and made him and some other dike…uh…woman dance to the whole thing. Dude can shake a leg, too.
Then we all ran back to the hotel through the rain ( I walked because I like storms and water will dry sooner or later.) Bambi and Barb had to go home, but didn’t want to drive in the tornados or storm, so we all went down to the bar and got drunk. Better to drive drunk so that when the big wreck happens, you won’t get hurt. Right?
The next morning we all went to the mall. Here is Daffy and her Ass Hat. It’s okay, though. It’s PINK!
And this is Alicia, Travis's way too pretty for his ass, wife.
Then we went to the Arch.
Jeff of Badly Drawn Monsters showed up then. We lost Barb and Bambi because…well…Barb has three kids who need there momma and Bambi had a wedding to attend and DIDN’T EVEN OFFER TO INVITE US. Dudes, we would have turned that coupling into an EVENT.
Here is the gang - less Barb and Bambi.
Anytourist, we toured the museum and Daffy, Ed and I went to the top of the arch. Now that is something that will quiver your liver. I’m talking about exciting (yawn). Seriously, it is kinda cool.
Then we all sorta split up, with some going out to eat and the rest went down to The Landing in Old Town. That was soooo cool. I didn’t do any drinking because I was the designated driver, but it was still a blast to sit at the sidewalk table watching the drunks and the ladies with 42 inch heals try to walk up the cobblestone street. Sorry! I was having so much fun entertaining myself that I didn't think of you peeps and didn't take any pictures.
The bummer was they roll up the sidewalks around 10 p.m. (the bars and clubs are open) and we were all getting pretty tired from all the elbow action of the last couple of days, so we went back to the hotel for an early night. I tried to go to the hotel bar, but they closed at ten, too. A BAR CLOSES AT 10 p. fucking m.? There’s no Irish folks working there, I tell ya.
Sunday, we couldn’t get it together enough to tour the Bud brewery as we planed, and the tours didn't start till 11:00 a.m. on Sundays, so everyone headed on home. Except Ed and me. I stayed till Monday, and Ed wasn’t in a hurry. So he hung around and baby sit the old man. We went out to Forrest Park and went through the museum. Yep! We are partiers alright.
Here’s Ed in front of the fountain wondering how he can dump the old man and get home.
Anytravel, Ed headed on home after that, and I went back to the hotel and read.
That’s about it. Drove home on Monday thinking I would be in storms and floods all the way. There were about 13 clouds in the sky and 70 degrees. Ran 80 all the way, but the Ohio and Tennessee Rivers were out of their banks.
That’s about it, peeps. You can wake up now and go on to someone else’s blog. Thanks for stopping by. . .