Friday, January 26, 2007


On djandy’s site, she asks the question, if Wonder Woman’s plane is invisible and she was naked would we be able to see her. I told her that you could probably see the cockpit. But the question that bothers me is where did moths hang out before the electric light was invented?

Monday, January 22, 2007

More Than You Ever Wanted To Know About Me

Gizmorox, over at “My Head Is A Box Filled With Nothing,” had the list below and I thought, since, like her sight says, my head is empty, I would do the exercise, too. So here goes:

Three screen names that you’ve had: Coffeypot, Maxwell House (Good to the last drop), Percolator.

Three things you like about yourself: I’m retired, my sense of humor and my self control at not shooting those who piss me off.

Three things you don’t like about yourself: I don’t look like Tom Sellick, I’m built more like Goofy than anyone else and I have the desire to shoot those people who piss me off.

Three parts of your heritage: Cherokee Indian, Irish and, most importantly, Southern.

Three things that scare you: Bill Collectors, Hilary Clinton might become president and that people will start taking Rosie O’Donnell seriously.

Three of your everyday essentials: Sweet Tea, all my medications and TV.

Three things you are wearing right now: Underwear, socks and blue jeans

Three of your favorite songs: Baby Let Me Bang Your Box – Dave Clark and the Hot Nuts (early 60’s song – honest.)
Sixteenth Avenue – Lacy J Dalton
Many others that do not come to mind right now.

Three things you want in a relationship: Honesty, humor and do everything I say. (I wonder what that would actually feel like.)

Two truths and a lie: I drove racecars, I’ve been to Hiroshima, and I’ve snowboarded.

Three things you can’t live without: Air, Water (or diet Coke) and Food.

Three places you want to go on vacation: Australia, Japan and Hawaii.

Three things you just can’t do:Have a baby or a period, brain surgery and eat liver.

Three kids names:Bill, Jim and Stephen

Three things you want to do before you die:
Drive in a NASCAR race, Become a pilot, Own and live on a houseboat (Just things that can be done if I had MONEY.)

Three celeb crushes: Katherine Bell of JAG, Charlize Theron, Jennifer Love (the boobs) Hewett.

Three of your favorite musicians: Credence Clearwater Revival, Rod Stewart and Nitty Gritty Dirt Band.

Three physical things about the opposite sex that appeal to you: Legs, ass, boobs, body, hair, face, lips, smell, taste and build. What? Only three? Okay: Legsassboobsbody, hairfacelips, and smelltastebuild. That’s three, right?

Three of your favorite hobbies: Reading/TV, NASCAR and J-man and Bug.

Three things you really want to do badly right now: Pee (excuse me, be right back), go walking in the woods, and win the lottery.

Three careers you’re considering/you’ve considered:Lawyer (then I could fuck a lot of people), a cop (then I could shoot all those I couldn’t fuck over), a preacher (they get more sex than the average man. There is the old joke where the kid comes running into the room to his dad and says the religious man is coming. He tells the boy to find out which one it is and, if it is the Catholic Priest, to stand in front of the liquor cabinet, if it is the Methodist Preacher, to stand in front of the refrigerator, and if it is the Baptist Preacher, to sit in his mother’s lap.)

Three ways that you are stereotypically a boy: I can stand and pee up a wall, I love to drive fast, and I love to look at good looking women.

Three ways that you are stereotypically a girl: I can throw a hissy fit and any time, I cry at movies, and I’m a Lesbian.

Now, why don’t you do one, too, and let me know if you do so that I can read yours.

Friday, January 19, 2007


CindyDiane, as an open tag to anyone who reads her column, wanted everyone to do their own version of Alphabet Soup. Is beyond me to understand why anyone would want an answer to some of the questions, but here goes:
A - Availible/single? – No! I’m so married that it will take death to stop it, and even in that event I don’t think I would feel free or single.

B - Best Friend – Earl M. and Quartermaster Chuck!

C - Cake or Pie? – Pies – apple, pecan, coconut, peach, but NEVER mince meat.

D - Drink of choice – Diet Coke – Being born and raised in Atlanta and being a diabetic (Type 2) I had no other choices. Bud Light occasionally or Jack Black sometimes. Well, a little scotch can be enjoyed a couple of times a year.

E - Essential everyday item – Toilet paper.

F - Favorite color - Blue.

G - Gummy bears or Worms? – Worms! They make excellent fish bate and bears are just too big and ornery to deal with.

H - Hometown – I was born in Atlanta, but I don’t go there unless I absolutely have too.

I - Indulgence – Hamburgers!

J - January or February? January or February what? They are both cold and miserable.

K - Kids and names – Me = 1, Marni; Sweet Tea = 2, Dr. Amber and Steven.

L - Life Is Incomplete Without – NASCAR and porn movies.

M - Marriage date – Don’t remember the first one, but Sweet Tea and I were married on Dec. 31, 1993.

N - Number of siblings – Seven – two with us and five gone on ahead.

O - Oranges or apples – Tangerines

Q - Favourite quote - "Until the moral improves the beatings will continue."

R - Reason to Smile – J-man and Bug.

S - Season, Fall or Spring? – Fall! Not long after the Fall you can Spring back up.

T - Tag 3 or 4 people – CindyDiane’s comment is good enough for me. If you haven't been tagged with this one, please consider yourself tagged and let me know in comments you are doing it, so we can all come check it out.

U - Unknown fact about me - I once was a preacher.

V - Veggie that I don't like – Boiled okra. Fried – yum, yum.

W - Worst habit- Peeing in the back yard when I take the dogs out.

X - X-rays – All of me. Why not take (e-rays of) all of me.

Y - Your Fav Food - Hamburgers.

Z - Zodiac sign – Libra – the Scales. I seek balance in life, like, as long as everyone agrees with me I am happy.

NOTE: There was no "P" sent so I didn't add one. If I had it would have been Position - Doggie style so we both can watch wrastling at the same time.

Friday, January 12, 2007


Klee did a meme (what ever that means) and ask if an one else would be interested in doing one. I though why not. So here tis.

1. The phone rings. Who are you hoping it is?
Sweet Tea or the grandkids.
2. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart?
Yes! People who don’t are selfish, inconsiderate and lazy.
3. In a social setting, are you more of a talker or a listener?
Talker! There is just too much brilliance in my head to not pass it along to those less informed. (Does the name Cliff Claven come to mind?)
4. If abandoned alone in the wilderness, would you survive?
5. Do you like horses?
Yes! But the last time I tried to ride one I almost got killed. I had just climbed into the saddle when the horse started moving all over the place. My foot slipped out of the stirrup and I started to fall of the horse. I was screaming for help, but I was alone. I flung my arms around the horse’s neck but kept on sliding off. I was just about to fall under the horse and be stomped to death when the Wal Mart manager came running out and unplugged the damn thing.
6. Did you ever go to camp as a kid?
No! That was for the rich kids. I did camp a lot with the Boy Scouts, though.
7. What was your favorite board game as a kid?
Chinese Checkers!
8. If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was taken what would you do?
Ignore the situation. I don’t go for he/shes. However, if it was a female, I would probably put my hands in my pocket, kick my toes across the ground, look down and tell her to turn slowly around because Sweet Tea is standing behind her with a shotgun pointed at her.
9. Are you judgmental?
Only if you don’t agree with me, or you look suspicious.
10. Would you date someone with different religious beliefs?
No! I’m married. She is a mackerel snapping Catholic, though, and I was raised Baptist – though now I believe more in me than anything else.
11. Are you continuing your education?
I stopped my formal education with my MBA, but I am continuing to learn more everyday – especially from reading all your bolgs.
12. Do you know how to shoot a gun?
Yes! Many different types and calibers.
13. If your house was on fire, what’s the first thing you’d grab?
My ass and throw it out the window.
14. How often do you read books?
Constantly! Sometimes I will have two or three going at the same time. Well, not at the exact same time. I’ll have one in the car, one by my chair and one in the bathroom for those quality moments.
15. Do you think more about the past, present or future?
I wonder how things I’ve done in the past will affect me now so that I can plan for the future. Actually I am a history buff and love to read things concerning history. But I live more for the now since I don’t have much a future to look toward – I’m old, ya know.
16. What is your favorite children’s book?
I don’t have one. I wasn’t read to as a kid. I prefer to read stuff with sex, violence and mayhem.
17. How tall are you?
6’3” of hickey bate.
18. Where is your ideal house located?
Deep in the woods on a lake big enough to accommodate my pontoon boat, but a short drive to the beach.
19. Last person you talked to?
My sister, Mary, who is more like a mother to me than my mother was.
20. When was the last time you were at the Olive Garden?
Is this a commercial? It was back in December, just before Christmas.
21. What are your keys on your key chain for?
Opening or unlocking things. Geese!
22. What did you do last night?
Watched TV and worked a couple of crossword puzzles, took the dogs out for our evening pee/constitutional, read some blogs, went to bed, fell asleep and dreamed of… uh, I don’t remember.
23. Where is your current pain at?
Down low on my right side. I may have to have hernia surgery. I don’t hurt like I did over Christmas because I passed not one, not two, but three kidney stones in three days. I may not do the surgery bit, though. I will talk to the surgeon next week.
24. Do you like mustard?
Regular mustard and honey mustard. The spicy stuff is sickening.
25. Did you like your mom and dad?
I like them okay, but I can’t say I truly loved them.
26. How long does it take you to shower?
As long as the hot water last. Don’t do cold showers for any reason.
27. What movie do you want to see right now?
Debby Does Dallas!
28. Do you put lotion on your dog or cats?
Hell NO! I might put bar-b-cue sauce on them if they are on the grill.
29. What did you do for New Year’s?
It’s our anniversary so we ordered in, watched the count down with the grandkids and went to bed.
30. Do you think the The Grudge was scary?
I don’t know what it is. Is it a movie? If it’s one of mine, then it is very scary.
31. Do you own a camera phone?
32. What’s the last letter of your middle name?
For God’s sake, why would you want to know that? And what if you didn’t have a middle name? Oh, well. Mine is d.
33. Who did you vote for on American Idol?
I don’t watch the show. Sweet Tea and Marni will watch it, but I had rather read or do a crossword puzzle.

Anyone else whish to do this, go ahead. Let me know, though, so I can read your comments.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007


I received this today and thought you might like to read it. It is a bit sappy, but the ending has an interesting take on the word FAMILY. Enjoy – or not!


I bumped into a stranger as he passed by.
“Oh, Excuse me please” was my reply.
He said, “Please excuse me, too; wasn’t even watching for you.”
We were very polite, this stranger and I.
We went on our way and we said good-bye.
But at home a different story is told,
How we treat our loved ones, young and old.
Later that day, cooking the evening meal,
My daughter stood beside my very still.
When I turned, I nearly knocked her down.
“Move out of the way,” I said with a frown.
She walked away, her little heart was broken.
I didn’t realize how harshly I’d spoken.
While I lay awake in bed,
God’s still small voice came to me and said,
“While dealing with a stranger, common courtesy you use,
But the children you love, you seem to abuse.
Look on the kitchen floor,
You’ll find some flowers there by the door.
Those are the flowers she brought for you.
She picked them herself: pink, yellow and blue.
She stood quietly not to spoil the surprise,
And you never saw the tears in her eyes.”
By this time I felt very small,
And now my tears began to fall.
I quietly went and knelt by her bed;
“Wake up, little girl, wake up,” I said.
“Are these the flowers you picked for me?”
She smiled, “I found ‘em out by the tree.
I picked ’em because they’re pretty like you.
I knew you’d like ‘em, especially the blue.”
I said, “Daughter, I’m sorry for the way I acted today;
I shouldn’t have yelled at you that way.”
She said, “Oh, Mom, that’s okay. I love you anyway.”
I said, “Daughter, I love you, too,
And I do like the flowers, especially the blue.”

If we die tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of days. But the family we left behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives. And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more into work than to our family – an unwise investment indeed.

So what is behind the poem? Do you know the full meaning of the word family?
FAMILY = (F)ather (A)nd (M)other (I) (L)ove (Y)ou!

Friday, January 05, 2007

Tagged Follow Up

Marni, over at its-a-pugs-life, tagged me a few weeks ago to tell you five things you didn’t know about me. I stared the list, but because I procrastinate a lot, I didn’t finish it. I guess it’s time I did. It’s hard to do since I am so boring, but here it is.

1) See below!

2) I am 6’3”, 205 lbs of hicky bate, a 30 year old man trapped in a 62 year old body. One that is wearing out, too.

3) I’ve been in jail - once. The night of high school graduation I left for Florida with two of my friends. I was seventeen and they were eighteen. A few days later I was caught by the FL Highway Patrol doing 95 mph through a 15 mph school zone. I got out the next day, and, NO, I wasn’t in stir long enough to become someone’s bitch. Although when I got home I was my parents’ favorite for verbal and mental abuse target – thus joining the Navy at seventeen.

4) I am a TV junkie. I love to laugh during the comedy shows, try to figure out the plots on the drama shows (only good enough to figure out about 20 p/c) and I record those I can’t watch because I am watching another show. I hate the “sports shows” like golf, tennis, soccer, etc.

5) I am a NASCAR loving, Liberal hating, Sean Hannity/Rush Limbaugh loving Republican who is ashamed of how the GOP let us down. I’m not totally Right Wing, though. I believe in and support Stem Cell research, Gay Marriage and I’m not particularly religious. But I do believe in individual responsibility, closing the boarders, heavy sanctions on employers who hire illegals, and death to anyone who tries to take away our freedoms.

6) This is one over the five I was ask to give you, but since I took so lone between one and two, I though I would add this last item. I just got over a testicular cancer scare. I went all December (the Santa Clause bit, the transport trip to Baca Raton, FL to deliver five litters of puppies to a no-kill shelter, Christmas Eve and Christmas Day and New Years) without telling anyone about the pain. I didn’t want to worry them needlessly until I knew something for sure. But I did hurt. I felt like someone had kicked me in the balls about an hour before. I had a lump on my right ball and I was peeing about every fifteen minuets. I went to the doctor on Tuesday and he gave me the good news. I do not have the Big C on a Little Nut. I have a hernia. The lump on my nut is from drainage from the inflammation from the hernia. YEAH! I had one of my managers go though testicular surgery a few years ago and we use to kid him that when he got turned on it looked like an exclamation point (!). I will have to have surgery in a couple of weeks, though; then I will be back to my 6’3”, 205 lbs of hicky bate self.

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Happy New Year Wish For Y'all

Happy New Year!
My brother sent this to me. It seemed appropriate, and expressed my feelings toward those who read my paltry stuff. So I changed it a little to fit and am sending it to you.

After serious & cautious consideration....your contracts of friendship have been renewed for the New Year 2007!

It was a very hard decision to make. So try not to screw it up!!! LOL

My Wish for You, my blogger friends, for 2007?

May peace break into your house and may thieves come to steal your debts, and may the pockets of your jeans become a magnet for $100 bills.

May love stick to your face like Vaseline, and laughter assault your lips!

May your clothes smell of success like smoking tires, and happiness slap you across the face while your tears are that of joy.

May the problems you HAD forget your home address! In simple words, may 2007 be the best year of your life!!!

Love & hugs!