Wednesday, September 02, 2015

McDonnell Douglas Warranty Card

 












This was ACTUALLY posted very briefly on the McDonnell Douglas website by an employee there who obviously had a sense of humor. The company, of course, does not (have a sense of humor) and made the web department take it down immediately. 


Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order to
protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the warranty
registration card below. Answering the survey questions is not required, but the
information will help us to develop new products that best meet your needs and

desires.



[_] Mr. [_] Mrs. [_] Ms. [_] Lt. [_] Gen. [_] Comrade [_] Classified
First Name: _______________ Initial: __ Last Name: _______________
Code Name: __________ Password: ________ (max 8 char)
Latitude-Longitude-Altitude: ____ ____ ____

Which model aircraft did you purchase?
[_] F-14 Tomcat
[_] F-15 Eagle
[_] F-16 Falcon
[_] F-117A Stealth
[_] Classified


Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day): ____/__/__
Serial Number: _________________________

Please check where this product was purchased:
[_] Received as gift / aid package
[_] Catalog showroom
[_] Independent arms broker
[_] Mail order
[_] Discount store
[_] Government surplus
[_] Classified

Please check how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas product you have
just purchased:
[_] Heard loud noise, looked up
[_] Store display
[_] Espionage
[_] Recommended by friend / relative / ally
[_] Political lobbying by manufacturer
[_] Was attacked by one


Please check the three (3) factors that most influenced your decision to
purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:
[_] Speed / maneuverability
[_] Price / value
[_] Comfort / convenience
[_] Kickback / bribe
[_] Recommended by salesperson
[_] McDonnell Douglas reputation
[_] Advanced Weapons Systems
[_] Backroom politics
[_] Negative experience opposing one in combat


Please check the location(s) where this product will be used:
[_] Iraq
[_] North America
[_] Central / South America
[_] Iraq
[_] Europe
[_] Africa
[_] Iraq
[_] Asia / Far East
[_] Misc. Third World countries
[_] Iraq
[_] Aircraft carrier
[_] Classified


How would you describe yourself or your organization? (Check all that
apply):
[_] Communist / Socialist
[_] Terrorist
[_] Crazed
[_] Neutral
[_] Democratic
[_] Dictatorship
[_] Corrupt
[_] Primitive / Tribal


Your occupation:
[_] Homemaker
[_] Sales / marketing
[_] Revolutionary
[_] Clerical
[_] Mercenary
[_] Tyrant
[_] Middle management
[_] Eccentric billionaire
[_] Defense Minister / General
[_] Retired
[_] Student


To help us understand our customers' lifestyles, please indicate the
interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy participating on a
regular basis:
[_] Golf
[_] Boating / sailing
[_] Running / jogging
[_] Sabotage
[_] Propaganda / disinformation
[_] Destabilization / overthrow
[_] Black market / smuggling
[_] Collectibles / collections
[_] Watching sports on TV
[_] Interrogation / torture
[_] Household pets
[_] Crushing rebellions
[_] Espionage / reconnaissance
[_] Border disputes
[_] Mutually Assured Destruction
[_] Fashion / clothing

 
Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your answers will
be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas serve you better in
the future - as well as allowing you to receive mailings and special offers from
other companies, governments, extremist groups, and mysterious consortia.
As a bonus for responding to this survey, you will be registered to win a brand
new F-117A in our Desert Thunder Sweepstakes!


source: jokebudda and copied from Fishducky
And I don't know why the background is white sometimes. 
 

Sunday, August 30, 2015

Give Up or Quit - That Is The Question




















Hey, Peeps.  You may have noticed, if you have even stopped by here in a while, that I haven’t posted anything since June.  I have no excuse for this laps.  Just facts.

Fact:  I haven’t had much to say without some kind of visual support, and I am not a wordsmith (as you can also tell) like many of my blogger pals on the side bar.  And I freely admit I am computer illiterate.

I have no one who can come over and give a tutorial on how to update or fix blogger.  I also suffer from ADHD, or some other kind of acronym, and dearly hate to do in-depth research unless it actually interest me.  So I do not try to learn stuff like whatever it is called that adds to the blog.  I had a good friend build my blog page with all the pictures and colors and stuff because she is a whiz at doing stuff like that.  But I am not one of her dependents on her tax forms, so she needs to devote her time to her family, not babysitting me.

I did try to use Chrome, but I seem to have lost stuff, or didn’t know how to get it back.  I couldn’t see my blog or anything.  So I went back to the old Google setup.  Again, I am computer illiterate. 
 
Recon age has something to do with it?  I was in the dentist office getting my toffies polished, and mentioned something I saw of Facebook, and the hygienist said it was so cool that I was on Facebook.  That not many people in my age group take the time to learn new stuff.  The sooty little bitch.  If she wasn’t so pretty with great eyes, I would have walked (or shuffled my old ass) out of there.  But, then again, she may be right.

I guess, because of using the old shit, I cannot post videos from YouTube or news sources, etc.  Also, I do not have photo shop or any of those cool sites that will let me build my own posters, comment on pictures, and other neat things that makes a blog interesting. 

So I thought about just taking the down… but I can’t.  I come here every day just to read the awesome peeps on the side bar.  I cannot give them up.  So this place will be like a ghost town.  Old stuff still around, but not much activity.  I still retain the right to post something if I think you would enjoy it – if you still have me on your list of blogger pals.  But if you choose to add more space by deleting my blog, I truly understand and thank you for hanging in so long. 

I really enjoyed doing this for several years.  I made a few friends from meeting you on this blog and still have contact with some of you over on Facebook, which is where I am spending most of my time and energy.  It is a little difficult for me to learn stuff there, too, but they have not intimidated and irritated me as much as blogger has.  So I will be hanging more over there.

I may come back here and repost some of my stuff from over the years… maybe update them a little.  We shall see.

In the meantime, if you do drop by here, I strongly advise you check out he peeps on the side bar.  They are awesome.

Later… maybe.
















Wednesday, June 24, 2015

A Demerit System For Men

















Life’s Demerit System
In Other Words---
MAKE THE WOMAN HAPPY
 
Do something she likes, and you get points.
Do something she dislikes, and the points are subtracted.
You don’t get points for doing something she expects.

Here is a sample guide to the point system:

SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed - +1
You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillows - -1
or
You go out to buy what she wants - +5
In the rain - +8
But return with Beer - -5

PROTECTIVE DUTIES
You check out a suspicious noise at night - +1
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing – 0
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is something - +5
You pummel it with an iron rod - +10
It’s her pet Schnauzer - -30

SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS
You stay by her side for the entire party - +1
You stay by her die for a while, then leave to chat with an old school friend - -2
Named Tina - -10
Tina is a dancer - -20
Tina has breast implants -40

HER BIRTHDAY
You take her out to dinner – +2
You take her out to dinner, and it’s not a sports bar - +3
Okay, it’s a sports bar - -2
And it’s all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team - -10

A NIGHT OUT
You take her to a movie - +1
You take her to a movie she likes - +5
You take her to a movie you hate - +6
You take her to a movie you like - -2
It’s called “Death Cop” - -3
You lie and tell her is was a foreign film about orphans - -15

YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable potbelly - -15
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it - +10
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts - -30
You say to her, “It doesn’t matter, you have one, too” - -80 (plus ER expenses)

THE BIG QUESTION
She asks, “Do I look fat?” - - 5
(Yes, you lose points no matter what)
You hesitate in responding - -10
You reply, “Where?” - -35
You give any other response - -40

COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression - +2
You listen for over 30 minutes - +50
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV - +500
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep - -4,000

In short, if you do the right thing you get a few points, but, boy if you fuck up…

 

Saturday, June 06, 2015

President Johnson Would Not Listen


Peeps, I received the below from my nephew, Ed, who is also a Vietnam Veteran, and I thought you would like to see a side of President Lyndon Johnson not normally portrayed by the liberal media.

It is one of the lesser known events about Vietnam and a must read.



















This was the briefing to Lyndon Johnson that sealed the fate of more than 58,000 lives of American soldiers, killed far more Vietnamese, and wasted the vast treasure of the USA.




















Lt. Gen. Charles Cooper, USMC (Ret.)(above) is the author of "Cheers and Tears: A Marine's Story of Combat in 2002, from which this article is excerpted.  The article recently drew national attention after it was posted on MILINET.  It is reprinted with the author's permission (or so the email said).

"The President will see you at
two o'clock."

It was a beautiful fall day in November of 1965; early in the Vietnam War - too beautiful a day to be what many of us, anticipating it, had been calling "the day of reckoning."  We didn't know how accurate that label would be.

The Pentagon is a busy place. Its workday starts early - especially if, as the expression goes, "there's a war on."  By seven o'clock, the staff of Admiral David L. McDonald, the Navy's senior admiral and Chief of Naval Operations, had started to work. Shortly after seven, Admiral McDonald arrived and began making final preparations for a meeting with President Lyndon Baines Johnson.

The Vietnam War was in its first year, and its uncertain direction troubled Admiral McDonald and the other service chiefs.  They'd had a number of disagreements with Secretary of Defense Robert S. McNamara about strategy, and had finally requested a private meeting with the Commander in Chief-a perfectly legitimate procedure.

Now, after many delays, the Joint Chiefs were finally to have that meeting.  They hoped it would determine whether the US military would continue its seemingly directionless buildup to fight a
protracted ground war, or take bold measures that would bring the war to an early and victorious end.  The bold measures they would propose were to apply massive air power to the head of the enemy, Hanoi, and to close North Vietnam's harbors by mining them.

The situation was not a simple one, and for several reasons.  The most important reason was that North Vietnam's neighbor to the north was communist China.  Only 12 years had passed since the Korean War had ended in stalemate.  The aggressors in that war had been the North Koreans.  When the North Koreans' defeat had appeared to be inevitable, communist China had sent hundreds of thousands of its Peoples' Liberation Army "volunteers" to the rescue.

Now, in this new war, the North Vietnamese aggressor had the logistic support of the Soviet Union and, more to the point, of neighboring communist China.  Although we had the air and naval forces with which to paralyze North Vietnam, we had to consider the possible reactions of the Chinese and the Russians.

Both China and the Soviet Union had pledged to support North Vietnam in the "war of national liberation" it was fighting to reunite the divided country, and both had the wherewithal to cause major problems.  An important unknown was what the Russians would do if prevented from delivering goods to their communist protégé in Hanoi.

A more important question concerned communist China, next-door neighbor to North Vietnam.  How would the Chinese react to a massive pummeling of their ally?  More specifically, would they enter the war as they had done in North Korea?  Or would they let the Vietnamese, for centuries a traditional enemy, fend for themselves?  The service chiefs had considered these and similar questions, and had also asked the Central Intelligence Agency for answers and estimates.

The CIA was of little help, though it produced reams of text, executive summaries of the texts, and briefs of the executive summaries-all top secret, all extremely sensitive, and all of little use.  The principal conclusion was that it was impossible to predict with any accuracy what the Chinese or Russians might do.

Despite the lack of a clear-cut intelligence estimate, Admiral McDonald and the other Joint Chiefs did what they were paid to do and reached a conclusion.  They decided unanimously that the risk of the Chinese or Soviets reacting to massive US measures taken in North Vietnam was acceptably low, but only if we acted without delay.

Unfortunately, the Secretary of Defense and his coterie of civilian "whiz kids" did not agree with the Joint Chiefs, and McNamara and his people were the ones who were actually steering military strategy.  In the view of the Joint Chiefs, the United States was piling on forces in Vietnam without understanding the consequences.  In the view of McNamara and his civilian team, we were doing the right thing.  This was the fundamental dispute that had caused the Chiefs to request the seldom-used private audience with the Commander in Chief in order to present their military recommendations directly to him.  McNamara had finally granted their request.

The 1965 Joint Chiefs of Staff had ample combat experience.  Each was serving in his third war.  



















The Chairman was General Earle Wheeler, US Army, highly regarded by the other members. 




















General Harold Johnson was the Army Chief of Staff.  A World War II prisoner of the Japanese, he was a soft-spoken, even-tempered, deeply religious man.  
 
















General John P. McConnell, Air Force Chief of Staff, was a native of Arkansas and a 1932 graduate of West Point. 
 





















The Commandant of the Marine Corps was General Wallace M. Greene, Jr., a slim, short, all-business Marine.  General Greene was a Naval Academy graduate and a zealous protector of the Marine Corps concept of controlling its own air resources as part of an integrated air-ground team.

























Last and by no means least was Admiral McDonald, a Georgia minister's son, also a Naval Academy graduate, and a naval aviator.  

While Admiral McDonald was a most capable leader, he was also a reluctant warrior.  He did not like what he saw emerging as a national commitment.  He did not really want the US to get involved with land warfare, believing as he did that the Navy could apply sea power against North Vietnam very effectively by mining, blockading, and assisting in a bombing campaign, and in this way help to bring the war to a swift and satisfactory conclusion.

The Joint Chiefs intended that the prime topics of the meeting with the President would be naval matters - the mining and blockading of the port of Haiphong and naval support of a bombing campaign aimed at Hanoi.  For that reason, the Navy was to furnish a briefing map, and that became my responsibility.  We mounted a suitable map on a large piece of plywood, then coated it with clear acetate so that the chiefs could mark on it with grease pencils during the discussion.  The whole thing weighed about 30 pounds.

The Military Office at the White House agreed to set up an easel in the Oval Office to hold the map.  I would accompany Admiral McDonald to the White House with the map, put the map in place when the meeting started, then get out.  There would be no strap-hangers at the military summit meeting with Lyndon Johnson.   The map and I joined Admiral McDonald in his staff car for the short drive to the White House, a drive that was memorable only because of the silence. My admiral was totally preoccupied.

The chiefs' appointment with the President was for
two o'clock, and Admiral McDonald and I arrived about 20 minutes early.  The chiefs were ushered into a fairly large room across the hall from the Oval Office.  I propped the map board on the arms of a fancy chair where all could view it, left two of the grease pencils in the tray attached to the bottom of the board, and stepped out into the corridor.  One of the chiefs shut the door, and they conferred in private until someone on the White House staff interrupted them about fifteen minutes later.  As they came out, I retrieved the map, and then joined them in the corridor outside the President's office.

Precisely at
two o'clock President Johnson emerged from the Oval Office and greeted the chiefs.  He was all charm.  He was also big: at three or more inches over six feet tall and something on the order of 250 pounds, he was bigger than any of the chiefs.  He personally ushered them into his office, all the while delivering gracious and solicitous comments with a Texas accent far more pronounced than the one that came through when he spoke on television.  Holding the map board as the chiefs entered, I peered between them, trying to find the easel.  There was none.  The President looked at me, grasped the situation at once, and invited me in, adding, "You can stand right over here."  I had become an easel-one with eyes and ears.

To the right of the door, not far inside the office, large windows framed evergreen bushes growing in a nearby garden.  The President's desk and several chairs were farther in, diagonally across the room from the windows.  The President positioned me near the windows, then arranged the chiefs in a semicircle in front of the map and its human easel.  He did not offer them seats: they stood, with those who were to speak-Wheeler, McDonald, and McConnell-standing nearest the President.  Paradoxically, the two whose services were most affected by a continuation of the ground buildup in Vietnam - Generals Johnson and Greene - stood farthest from the President.  President Johnson stood nearest the door, about five feet from the map.

In retrospect, the setup-the failure to have an easel in place, the positioning of the chiefs on the outer fringe of the office, the lack of seating-did not augur well. The chiefs had expected the meeting to be a short one, and it met that expectation. They also expected it to be of momentous import, and it met that expectation, too.  Unfortunately, it also proved to be a meeting that was critical to the proper pursuit of what was to become the longest, most divisive, and least conclusive war in our nation's history-a war that almost tore the nation apart.

As General Wheeler started talking, President Johnson peered at the map.  In five minutes or so, the general summarized our entry into Vietnam, the current status of forces, and the purpose of the meeting.  Then he thanked the President for having given his senior military advisers the opportunity to present their opinions and recommendations.  Finally, he noted that although Secretary McNamara did not subscribe to their views, he did agree that a presidential-level decision was required.  President Johnson, arms crossed, seemed to be listening carefully.

The essence of General Wheeler's presentation was that we had come to an early moment of truth in our ever-increasing Vietnam involvement.  We had to start using our principal strengths - air and naval power - t  punish the North Vietnamese, or we would risk becoming involved in another protracted Asian ground war with no prospects of a satisfactory solution.  Speaking for the chiefs, General Wheeler offered a bold course of action that would avoid protracted land warfare.  He proposed that we isolate the major port of Haiphong through naval mining, blockade the rest of the North Vietnamese coastline, and simultaneously start bombing Hanoi with B-52's.

General Wheeler then asked Admiral McDonald to describe how the Navy and Air Force would combine forces to mine the waters off Haiphong and establish a naval blockade.  When Admiral McDonald finished, General McConnell added that speed of execution would be essential, and that we would have to make the North Vietnamese believe that we would increase the level of punishment if they did not sue for peace.

Normally, time dims our memories-but it hasn't dimmed this one.  My memory of Lyndon Johnson on that day remains crystal clear.  While General Wheeler, Admiral McDonald, and General McConnell spoke, he seemed to be listening closely, communicating only with an occasional nod.  When General McConnell finished, General Wheeler asked the President if he had any questions.  Johnson waited a moment or so, then turned to Generals Johnson and Greene, who had remained silent during the briefing, and asked, "Do you fully support these ideas?"

He followed with the thought that it was they who were providing the ground troops, in effect acknowledging that the Army and the Marines were the services that had most to gain or lose as a result of this discussion.  Both generals indicated their agreement with the proposal.  Seemingly deep in thought, President Johnson turned his back on them for a minute or so, then suddenly discarding the calm, patient demeanor he had maintained throughout the meeting, whirled to face them and exploded.

I almost dropped the map.  He screamed obscenities, he cursed them personally, he ridiculed them for coming to his office with their "military advice."  Noting that it was he who was carrying the weight of the free world on his shoulders, he called them filthy names-shitheads, dumb shits, pompous assholes-and used "the F-word" as an adjective more freely than a Marine in boot camp would use it.  He then accused them of trying to pass the buck for World War III to him. It was unnerving, degrading.

After the tantrum, he resumed the calm, relaxed manner he had displayed earlier and again folded his arms. It was as though he had punished them, cowed them, and would now control them.  Using soft-spoken profanities, he said something to the effect that they all knew now that he did not care about their military advice.  After disparaging their abilities, he added that he did expect their help.

He suggested that each one of them change places with him and assume that five incompetents had just made these "military recommendations."  He told them that he was going to let them go through what he had to go through when idiots gave him stupid advice, adding that he had the whole damn world to worry about, and it was time to "see what kind of guts you have."  He paused, as if to let it sink in.  The silence was like a palpable solid, the tension like that in a drumhead.  After thirty or forty seconds of this, he turned to General Wheeler and demanded that Wheeler say what he would do if he were the President of the United States.

General Wheeler took a deep breath before answering.  He was not an easy man to shake: his calm response set the tone for the others.  He had known coming in, as had the others that Lyndon Johnson was an exceptionally strong personality and a venal and vindictive man as well.  He had known that the stakes were high, and now realized that McNamara had prepared Johnson carefully for this meeting, which had been a charade.

Looking President Johnson squarely in the eye, General Wheeler told him that he understood the tremendous pressure and sense of responsibility Johnson felt. He added that probably no other President in history had had to make a decision of this importance, and further cushioned his remarks by saying that no matter how much about the presidency he did understand, there were many things about it that only one human being could ever understand.  General Wheeler closed his remarks by saying something very close to this: "You, Mr. President, are that one human being.  I cannot take your place, think your thoughts, know all you know, and tell you what I would do if I were you.  I can't do it, Mr. President.  No man can honestly do it.  Respectfully, sir, it is your decision and yours alone."

Apparently unmoved, Johnson asked each of the other Chiefs the same question.  One at a time, they supported General Wheeler and his rationale.  By now, my arms felt as though they were about to break.  The map seemed to weigh a ton, but the end appeared to be near.  General Greene was the last to speak.

When General Greene finished, President Johnson, who was nothing if not a skilled actor, looked sad for a moment, then suddenly erupted again, yelling and cursing, again using language that even a Marine seldom hears.  He told them he was disgusted with their naive approach, and that he was not going to let some military idiots talk him into World War III.  He ended the conference by shouting "Get the hell out of my office!"

The Joint Chiefs of Staff had done their duty.  They knew that the nation was making a strategic military error, and despite the rebuffs of their civilian masters in the Pentagon, they had insisted on presenting the problem as they saw it to the highest authority and recommending solutions.  They had done so, and they had been rebuffed. That authority had not only rejected their solutions, but had also insulted and demeaned them.

As Admiral McDonald and I drove back to the Pentagon, he turned to me and said that he had known tough days in his life, and sad ones as well, but ". . . this has got to have been the worst experience I could ever imagine."

The US involvement in Vietnam lasted another ten years.  The irony is that it began to end only when President Richard Nixon, after some backstage maneuvering on the international scene, did precisely what the Joint Chiefs of Staff had recommended to President Johnson in 1965.

Why had Johnson not only dismissed their recommendations, but also ridiculed them? It must have been that Johnson had lacked something.  Maybe it was foresight or boldness.  Maybe it was the sophistication and understanding it took to deal with complex international issues.  Or, since he was clearly a bully, maybe what he lacked was courage.  We will never know.

But had General Wheeler and the others received a fair hearing, and had their recommendations received serious study, the United States may well have saved the lives of most of its more than 58,000 sons who died in a war that its major architect, Robert Strange McNamara, now considers to have been a tragic mistake.

Peeps, I have held the belief that if you are going to send American boys and girls into harm’s way for whatever greedy, religious, strategic reason for doing so, let the military brass do what they have trained all their lives to do.  There will be less casualties, more damage and shorter combats and wars.  Pass a law that politicians should stay the fuck out of the decision making and NEVER offer advice for rules of engagement (ROE’s).

WWII lasted four years and could have been won in less time, but we were divided on both coast in different wars.  Had we fought either of them individually, the wars would have been over in much less time.  The main reason we won in four years, though, is because we, and our allies, bombed the shit out the day and night.  No concern for collateral damage.  Nothing but destruction of everything; war production factories and facilities, homes and families, everything that broke moral and strength.  We need to do the same thing today and stop losing American lives.

IMHO!



Sunday, May 31, 2015

Why We Cannot Let Our liberal Newspapers Die ...





















































They are just too funny to not have them around...
Thank you Liberal Education

Monday, May 25, 2015

Lost 74 on Memorial Day 2015

I Am Remembering Them Today
 
 
Their names need to be on the Vietnam Memorial Wall in Washington.

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

THINGS I TRUST MORE THAN HILLARY

Wow... It has been three months since I last posted any dibble here?  I have no excuse (Facebook) for my lack of posting.  I do read all the peeps on my side bar because they are just too damn good not too.  But, well, let's give this one a try... if anyone is still out there.
 
Hello! Anyone out there? (tap, tap, tap) Is this thing on? 

Damn!

THINGS I TRUST MORE THAN HILLARY
 





















Drinking Mexican tap water

A rattlesnake with a pet me sign

Bill Clinton

OJ Simpson showing me his knife collection

An elevator ride with Ray Rice

A drink offered by Bill Cosby

Michael Jackson’s doctor

An Obama nuclear deal with Iran

A Palestinian with a backpack on a motorcycle

Gas station sushi

Jimmy Carter’s economic plan

Brian Williams’ news reports

Loch Ness monster sightings

Prayers for peace from Al Sharpton

An Obama endorsement

Rosie O showing restraint at an all-you-can-eat buffet

German co-pilots

Nigerian lotto wins

The $35,000,000 Arab Sheik who keeps sending me emails

Mexican building codes

Duke strippers

Chicago governors

Obama being Christian


Seriously, Peeps, she is as much a threat to this country as Obama, only not as a Muslim.