Thursday, October 15, 2015

Male Columnist

Why Men Should Never Be Advice Columnists:

Don't worry... it's not your glasses.  It just wouldn't make bigger clear.

Monday, September 28, 2015

Some Monday Humor

Some Monday Humor to help you cope...

That's it!  Carry on!  Return to your daily chores.

Thursday, September 03, 2015

Baltimore Riot Explained

The Baltimore Riot Explained

OK.  Now I understand! 

SO Happy that we got that cleared up!!

Wednesday, September 02, 2015

McDonnell Douglas Warranty Card


This was ACTUALLY posted very briefly on the McDonnell Douglas website by an employee there who obviously had a sense of humor. The company, of course, does not (have a sense of humor) and made the web department take it down immediately. 

Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order to
protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the warranty
registration card below. Answering the survey questions is not required, but the
information will help us to develop new products that best meet your needs and


[_] Mr. [_] Mrs. [_] Ms. [_] Lt. [_] Gen. [_] Comrade [_] Classified
First Name: _______________ Initial: __ Last Name: _______________
Code Name: __________ Password: ________ (max 8 char)
Latitude-Longitude-Altitude: ____ ____ ____

Which model aircraft did you purchase?
[_] F-14 Tomcat
[_] F-15 Eagle
[_] F-16 Falcon
[_] F-117A Stealth
[_] Classified

Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day): ____/__/__
Serial Number: _________________________

Please check where this product was purchased:
[_] Received as gift / aid package
[_] Catalog showroom
[_] Independent arms broker
[_] Mail order
[_] Discount store
[_] Government surplus
[_] Classified

Please check how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas product you have
just purchased:
[_] Heard loud noise, looked up
[_] Store display
[_] Espionage
[_] Recommended by friend / relative / ally
[_] Political lobbying by manufacturer
[_] Was attacked by one

Please check the three (3) factors that most influenced your decision to
purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:
[_] Speed / maneuverability
[_] Price / value
[_] Comfort / convenience
[_] Kickback / bribe
[_] Recommended by salesperson
[_] McDonnell Douglas reputation
[_] Advanced Weapons Systems
[_] Backroom politics
[_] Negative experience opposing one in combat

Please check the location(s) where this product will be used:
[_] Iraq
[_] North America
[_] Central / South America
[_] Iraq
[_] Europe
[_] Africa
[_] Iraq
[_] Asia / Far East
[_] Misc. Third World countries
[_] Iraq
[_] Aircraft carrier
[_] Classified

How would you describe yourself or your organization? (Check all that
[_] Communist / Socialist
[_] Terrorist
[_] Crazed
[_] Neutral
[_] Democratic
[_] Dictatorship
[_] Corrupt
[_] Primitive / Tribal

Your occupation:
[_] Homemaker
[_] Sales / marketing
[_] Revolutionary
[_] Clerical
[_] Mercenary
[_] Tyrant
[_] Middle management
[_] Eccentric billionaire
[_] Defense Minister / General
[_] Retired
[_] Student

To help us understand our customers' lifestyles, please indicate the
interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy participating on a
regular basis:
[_] Golf
[_] Boating / sailing
[_] Running / jogging
[_] Sabotage
[_] Propaganda / disinformation
[_] Destabilization / overthrow
[_] Black market / smuggling
[_] Collectibles / collections
[_] Watching sports on TV
[_] Interrogation / torture
[_] Household pets
[_] Crushing rebellions
[_] Espionage / reconnaissance
[_] Border disputes
[_] Mutually Assured Destruction
[_] Fashion / clothing

Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your answers will
be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas serve you better in
the future - as well as allowing you to receive mailings and special offers from
other companies, governments, extremist groups, and mysterious consortia.
As a bonus for responding to this survey, you will be registered to win a brand
new F-117A in our Desert Thunder Sweepstakes!

source: jokebudda and copied from Fishducky
And I don't know why the background is white sometimes. 

Sunday, August 30, 2015

Give Up or Quit - That Is The Question

Hey, Peeps.  You may have noticed, if you have even stopped by here in a while, that I haven’t posted anything since June.  I have no excuse for this laps.  Just facts.

Fact:  I haven’t had much to say without some kind of visual support, and I am not a wordsmith (as you can also tell) like many of my blogger pals on the side bar.  And I freely admit I am computer illiterate.

I have no one who can come over and give a tutorial on how to update or fix blogger.  I also suffer from ADHD, or some other kind of acronym, and dearly hate to do in-depth research unless it actually interest me.  So I do not try to learn stuff like whatever it is called that adds to the blog.  I had a good friend build my blog page with all the pictures and colors and stuff because she is a whiz at doing stuff like that.  But I am not one of her dependents on her tax forms, so she needs to devote her time to her family, not babysitting me.

I did try to use Chrome, but I seem to have lost stuff, or didn’t know how to get it back.  I couldn’t see my blog or anything.  So I went back to the old Google setup.  Again, I am computer illiterate. 
Recon age has something to do with it?  I was in the dentist office getting my toffies polished, and mentioned something I saw of Facebook, and the hygienist said it was so cool that I was on Facebook.  That not many people in my age group take the time to learn new stuff.  The sooty little bitch.  If she wasn’t so pretty with great eyes, I would have walked (or shuffled my old ass) out of there.  But, then again, she may be right.

I guess, because of using the old shit, I cannot post videos from YouTube or news sources, etc.  Also, I do not have photo shop or any of those cool sites that will let me build my own posters, comment on pictures, and other neat things that makes a blog interesting. 

So I thought about just taking the down… but I can’t.  I come here every day just to read the awesome peeps on the side bar.  I cannot give them up.  So this place will be like a ghost town.  Old stuff still around, but not much activity.  I still retain the right to post something if I think you would enjoy it – if you still have me on your list of blogger pals.  But if you choose to add more space by deleting my blog, I truly understand and thank you for hanging in so long. 

I really enjoyed doing this for several years.  I made a few friends from meeting you on this blog and still have contact with some of you over on Facebook, which is where I am spending most of my time and energy.  It is a little difficult for me to learn stuff there, too, but they have not intimidated and irritated me as much as blogger has.  So I will be hanging more over there.

I may come back here and repost some of my stuff from over the years… maybe update them a little.  We shall see.

In the meantime, if you do drop by here, I strongly advise you check out he peeps on the side bar.  They are awesome.

Later… maybe.

Wednesday, June 24, 2015

A Demerit System For Men

Life’s Demerit System
In Other Words---
Do something she likes, and you get points.
Do something she dislikes, and the points are subtracted.
You don’t get points for doing something she expects.

Here is a sample guide to the point system:

You make the bed - +1
You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillows - -1
You go out to buy what she wants - +5
In the rain - +8
But return with Beer - -5

You check out a suspicious noise at night - +1
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing – 0
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is something - +5
You pummel it with an iron rod - +10
It’s her pet Schnauzer - -30

You stay by her side for the entire party - +1
You stay by her die for a while, then leave to chat with an old school friend - -2
Named Tina - -10
Tina is a dancer - -20
Tina has breast implants -40

You take her out to dinner – +2
You take her out to dinner, and it’s not a sports bar - +3
Okay, it’s a sports bar - -2
And it’s all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team - -10

You take her to a movie - +1
You take her to a movie she likes - +5
You take her to a movie you hate - +6
You take her to a movie you like - -2
It’s called “Death Cop” - -3
You lie and tell her is was a foreign film about orphans - -15

You develop a noticeable potbelly - -15
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it - +10
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts - -30
You say to her, “It doesn’t matter, you have one, too” - -80 (plus ER expenses)

She asks, “Do I look fat?” - - 5
(Yes, you lose points no matter what)
You hesitate in responding - -10
You reply, “Where?” - -35
You give any other response - -40

When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression - +2
You listen for over 30 minutes - +50
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV - +500
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep - -4,000

In short, if you do the right thing you get a few points, but, boy if you fuck up…