Friday, January 12, 2007

MEME

Klee did a meme (what ever that means) and ask if an one else would be interested in doing one. I though why not. So here tis.

1. The phone rings. Who are you hoping it is?
Sweet Tea or the grandkids.
2. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart?
Yes! People who don’t are selfish, inconsiderate and lazy.
3. In a social setting, are you more of a talker or a listener?
Talker! There is just too much brilliance in my head to not pass it along to those less informed. (Does the name Cliff Claven come to mind?)
4. If abandoned alone in the wilderness, would you survive?
Yes!
5. Do you like horses?
Yes! But the last time I tried to ride one I almost got killed. I had just climbed into the saddle when the horse started moving all over the place. My foot slipped out of the stirrup and I started to fall of the horse. I was screaming for help, but I was alone. I flung my arms around the horse’s neck but kept on sliding off. I was just about to fall under the horse and be stomped to death when the Wal Mart manager came running out and unplugged the damn thing.
6. Did you ever go to camp as a kid?
No! That was for the rich kids. I did camp a lot with the Boy Scouts, though.
7. What was your favorite board game as a kid?
Chinese Checkers!
8. If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was taken what would you do?
Ignore the situation. I don’t go for he/shes. However, if it was a female, I would probably put my hands in my pocket, kick my toes across the ground, look down and tell her to turn slowly around because Sweet Tea is standing behind her with a shotgun pointed at her.
9. Are you judgmental?
Only if you don’t agree with me, or you look suspicious.
10. Would you date someone with different religious beliefs?
No! I’m married. She is a mackerel snapping Catholic, though, and I was raised Baptist – though now I believe more in me than anything else.
11. Are you continuing your education?
I stopped my formal education with my MBA, but I am continuing to learn more everyday – especially from reading all your bolgs.
12. Do you know how to shoot a gun?
Yes! Many different types and calibers.
13. If your house was on fire, what’s the first thing you’d grab?
My ass and throw it out the window.
14. How often do you read books?
Constantly! Sometimes I will have two or three going at the same time. Well, not at the exact same time. I’ll have one in the car, one by my chair and one in the bathroom for those quality moments.
15. Do you think more about the past, present or future?
I wonder how things I’ve done in the past will affect me now so that I can plan for the future. Actually I am a history buff and love to read things concerning history. But I live more for the now since I don’t have much a future to look toward – I’m old, ya know.
16. What is your favorite children’s book?
I don’t have one. I wasn’t read to as a kid. I prefer to read stuff with sex, violence and mayhem.
17. How tall are you?
6’3” of hickey bate.
18. Where is your ideal house located?
Deep in the woods on a lake big enough to accommodate my pontoon boat, but a short drive to the beach.
19. Last person you talked to?
My sister, Mary, who is more like a mother to me than my mother was.
20. When was the last time you were at the Olive Garden?
Is this a commercial? It was back in December, just before Christmas.
21. What are your keys on your key chain for?
Opening or unlocking things. Geese!
22. What did you do last night?
Watched TV and worked a couple of crossword puzzles, took the dogs out for our evening pee/constitutional, read some blogs, went to bed, fell asleep and dreamed of… uh, I don’t remember.
23. Where is your current pain at?
Down low on my right side. I may have to have hernia surgery. I don’t hurt like I did over Christmas because I passed not one, not two, but three kidney stones in three days. I may not do the surgery bit, though. I will talk to the surgeon next week.
24. Do you like mustard?
Regular mustard and honey mustard. The spicy stuff is sickening.
25. Did you like your mom and dad?
I like them okay, but I can’t say I truly loved them.
26. How long does it take you to shower?
As long as the hot water last. Don’t do cold showers for any reason.
27. What movie do you want to see right now?
Debby Does Dallas!
28. Do you put lotion on your dog or cats?
Hell NO! I might put bar-b-cue sauce on them if they are on the grill.
29. What did you do for New Year’s?
It’s our anniversary so we ordered in, watched the count down with the grandkids and went to bed.
30. Do you think the The Grudge was scary?
I don’t know what it is. Is it a movie? If it’s one of mine, then it is very scary.
31. Do you own a camera phone?
Yes!
32. What’s the last letter of your middle name?
For God’s sake, why would you want to know that? And what if you didn’t have a middle name? Oh, well. Mine is d.
33. Who did you vote for on American Idol?
I don’t watch the show. Sweet Tea and Marni will watch it, but I had rather read or do a crossword puzzle.

Anyone else whish to do this, go ahead. Let me know, though, so I can read your comments.

15 comments:

SkippyMom said...

Favorite Answer: "My ass and throw it out the window!"

I bet you are a hoot at a dinner party Coffey. SKH and I laughed out loud at your answers. I would try this meme - but your answers are just too great....heeheehe

Hugs for a great weekend.

Pamela said...

13. If your house was on fire, what’s the first thing you’d grab?
My ass and throw it out the window.

that was my favorite answer, too.

(Just so long as the fire wasn't caused because you were smoking in bed ......and just threw out the wrong butt.)

barista brat said...

you had me snorting at the he/she response!

her indoors said...

my favourate is the horse, ha ha so funny x

coffeypot said...

skippymom, thanks for stopping by. I might be fun at dinner parties, but I’m never asked. The only dinner parties I DO get invited to are the kind where they are asking for money – alumni meetings, timeshare sales, etc. and they don’t appreciate my humor.

pamela, I don’t smoke. I was asked if I ever smoked after making love, but I had to tell them that I didn’t know. I never look down there to see.

baraster brat, I hope you weren’t drinking hot coffee at the time.

her indoors, the horse thingy wasn’t meant to be funny. I was almost killed. Even today I give those horses outside the Wal Mart a wide berth. I can feel their evil eyes following me into the store.

Are you guys (oops, ya'all) going to do a meme too?

Life, or Something Like It said...

You crack me up! Thanks for the laughs.

KLee said...

Your response about smoking after sex reminds me about why I don't wear corduroy pants -- my thighs rub together so hard my underwear burst into flames. And crotch fires are REALLY hard to explain....

Loved your answers, and I'm glad you stole this stolen meme! (See -- I told Marni you weren't the angel you painted yourself out to be! Debbie Does Dallas....Shame on you, Grandpa!) :)

GrizzBabe said...

Okay, I'm guilty of being selfish, inconsiderate and lazy. Sometimes walking the extra 15 feet to return my grocery cart to the correct bin seems like such a chore.

coffeypot said...

grizzbab, That does it. You are banned from any store with carts. If you need something order it on-line.

China Doll said...

Number 5 made me scare people in my house, I laughed so hard and suddenly.

Groover said...

Good stuff Mr Pot.

Heidi the Hick said...

Oh your horse story just cracked me up. I was about to give your instructions on teaching your horse to stand still but... as long as the Walmart manager is there you should be ok.

And I'm really glad you put your shopping cart back, because I I have a truck that my daddy spendt two months primering and painting...and I have to go the the grcoery store a lot.

coffeypot said...

Heidi, I know how to get on a horse, now. I walk up and hit him between the eyes with a two-by-four. When he falls down I climb on and wait for him to wake up and start to walk around. Simple with less hassle.

DJ Andi said...

Klee-I think that's called a bush fire.

I think I'll post this on my blog even though I have already blogged today. That's unusual for me, but then I'm unusual so there you go. Check it out. I doubt I'll be as crafty as you but I'll try.

CindyDianne said...

Very, very funny stuff here Coffey! How long ago was that horse incident? You ready to try again? :-)