Sunday, July 29, 2007

Humans Are Not So Tough

Humans aren’t so tough. For the most part we are fat, dumb and lazy. Okay, I'm just F.D.&L. Oh, yeah, we invented computers, television, wireless telephones, tampons and vibratos. We have extended life by inventing miracle drugs and HMO’s (just kidding). But we have lost some things, too. Our ability of survive by using our sense of smell and vision, cunning, strength and instincts. Just using the things God (or nature, or The Force) gave us.

I don’t usually think about this stuff, but today I was coming back from the store and a black wasp landed on my windshield. No problem! He will blow off and go on his wasp-doing way when I drive off. NOT!

The wind coming over the windshield didn’t seem to bother him/her/it at all. As I picked up speed it just lay down on its side and let its wings flutter in the breeze. I got up to 60 mph and it just laid there. The only thing holding it to the windshield was his little bitty feet. Can you imagine the suction or the toe hold it had to have to accomplish that? When I came to a traffic light or stop sign, it would stand up, rub his back legs, and walk around the windshield until I started moving again. Then it would just lay on its side again. It stayed there until I stopped at a traffic light in front of a Burger King. I guess it had had enough fun for the day and was hungry because it just flew away.

A human couldn’t do that even though a human weighs a gazillion more pounds than that little black wasp. We would have to have a hand or foot hold, or both, to stay on the windshield at 60 mph. The wasp just stuck his foot on the glass and was happy. I thought I heard a tiny “weeeeee” as I was going down the road. Maybe not! But it made me feel that we humans are just not so tough.

15 comments:

KLee said...

Yeah. And we can't fly, neither. Damn it.

Pamela said...

just think if they got organized.

her indoors said...

yes i am also FD&L, he/she/it just wanted a free ride!

coffeypot said...

klee, I agree. That is my super-power favorite skill.

pamela, a sci-fi horror come true. Can you see humans walking around with cans of RAID in holsters on their hips like in the old west?

her indoors, it not only got a free ride but it was more fun than Six Flags. And it topped it off with a meal from Burger King.

Cooper said...

Birds do it ...
Bees do it ...

DJ Andi said...

Bugs are amazing I must say. Sometimes I am amazed that yucky bugs can be smashed with a shoe on carpet actually get back up and try to run away. Usually the second swat gets them.

I've see ants and other things do the same thing on a windshield. I know I couldn't hold on, not even if I had some sort of finger hold or even something to grab. I'm a wimp, not gonna deny it.

DJ Andi said...

Personal Question: Does Sweet Tea drive to Jersey or fly? My sister lives up there and my mother will not fly. Just wondering if she ever drives if she would like company or like to catch a ride with my Mom.

Heidi the Hick said...

man, nothing gets past your powers of observation!

coffeypot said...

cooper, how do I answer or comment on your site. I have tried 5,658,227 times. I even signed up on the shitty motime thing and I still can't comment.

dj anddy, Sweet Tea usually will fly. We drove up once, but since it's comapny money, well... But she does stay with her mother when she is there instead of a motel.

heidi, I'm brilliant, I tell ya.

Cooper said...

And all this time, I thought it was that giant throbbing boil on the end of my nose. Whew, nice to know it's not a popularity issue.

For your convenience, I have dedicated an entire post to your plight. I hope it works. If it does, please drop by and comment endlessly.

CindyDianne said...

Interesting story Coffey. Truthfully, humans are very fragile!

Oh, and you've been tagged.

GrizzBabe said...

You're nicer than I am giving that wasp a free ride. I would have squirted him with windshield washer fluid and scraped him off with my blades.

coffeypot said...

cindydianne, I'll give it a try as soon as I come up with eight things y'all might find interesting about me. It will be difficult as I am the most boring person you will ever meet.

grizzbabe, Normally that would be the thing to do, but I thought it would blow off the glass since I drive like a bat out of hell. The more I watched it - I couldn't help it because it was right in front of my nose - the more it amazed me.

Mary Stebbins Taitt said...

If it had been me, it would have crawled over the windshield and somehow found a crack and gotten in and stung me.

They never used to sting me--but they do now.

It's really something hitting one of those at 80 on the freeway, first it feel like a bullet and then it stings like mad--you're right, we're not so toucgh.

Mary Stebbins Taitt said...

I mean on my motorcycle. I can't run that fast.