Thursday, September 06, 2007

The Old Girl Is Gone and I'm Not Far Behind

She died today. The old girl, after 25 years of loyal, faithful service, first to Sweet Tea and her family and then to me as I joined her clan, gave up the ghost. She was a Sharp Carousel microwave oven, and she proudly kept us nourished as only an oven can. She will be sadly missed – until we can get to Wal Mart tonight to adopt one of her kin.

That’s not the sad thing, though. It meant that I had to get my old coffee pot out this morning and boil water. The pot looks almost exactly like the icon over on the right side, and I have had it for more years than I care to think about – or can remember. But that’s not what is sad, either.

What’s sad is that after I put the pot of water on the stove to boil, I fixed myself a cup of instant coffee (Folgers, for you detail oriented types, and it is the only coffee I have at home) by putting the coffee in the cup and turning to the sink and filling the damn thing with water and stirring it while I walked over to the microwave (which was by this time resting in celestial repose in the garage next to the garbage can.) I looked up at the EMPTY space and then at the stove, and well… I’m old, dammit. I can’t be expected to remember everything, now, can I?

I’ll be better tomorrow. But I wonder if Sweet Tea will try to make instant coffee (a metaphor, please) after I am resting in silent repose out next to the garbage can? That’s not so far fetched, folks. Our plans are that we will be cremated and our ashes mixed together with half being poured over the beach on the Gulf and the other half being poured out in the mountains somewhere.

That’s a switch for me, too. Before I met and married Sweet Tea, I wanted my ashes put in a douche bag and run through one last time. But that wouldn’t be right now. So the present plan is in place.

And since I am six years older, a heart attack survivor and have type-two diabetes, chances are pretty good that I will go first. So the ashes will have to be stored someplace. So, I figure that it will be one less thing to dust if I am on the shelf in the garage. Maybe not, but you never know.

16 comments:

Biddie said...

Our microwave and fridge had a suicide pact - they kicked off together. It was a sad, sad, day in our house. I know your pain, Coffeypot.
All of our coffemakers kicked off, too. We used to have 5 or 6, and we are down to zero. Shawn has been drinking tea all week (sweet tea, actually, cuz he likes it with honey), but it just isn't the same.
RIP Old Girl...

coffeypot said...

Do you remember when everything was cook on the stove or in the oven? My mama would laugh at us now.

Teri said...

yeah, I'll think our elders are rolling over in their grave and rolling their eyes at us as well.

coffeypot said...

teri, my mom and dad were rolling their eyes at me long before they passed on. I seem to have that effect on some people. But I do miss some of the easier times.

cooper green said...

Don't roll your eyes too much, John, or the neighbours will think you're on the way out. Boy, you sure take the demise of an old microwave seriously. We just polished ours up and put it in the front yard. Gone within the hour. If it's clean, people think it works.

coffeypot said...

That's what they use to think about me, too. But no matter how much they cleaned me up, a lazy ass is still a lazy ass and will not work. Thus I am retired.

her indoors said...

LOL, where would we be without our microwaves eh! my hubby has convinced everyone that we never used to have hot meals before we go a microwave! hope you find a nice new one soon

Nadine said...

It must be catching because my hot water heater is in the process of dying as we speak.

coffeypot said...

her indoors, it's either the microwave or the Waffle House. I don't cook. Sweet Tea and her son, Steven, are excellent cooks, but I am limited to instant coffee and boiling water for hotdogs.

nadine, I'm sorry. It's all my fault. I'm just glad you not on a pacemaker.

e.Craig said...

No doubt about it, a microwave oven has become a necessary appliance for many folks.
The good thing about needing to replace one so old is that the new one will be much more efficient.

coffeypot said...

It not only more efficient, with so many pretty buttons and pictures, but it is more powerful, too. I tried to replace her with one similar to her power, but when we hit the button to start the cooking, the lights in the neighborhood dim. We are being forced to move.

swampy said...

Having your ashes put in a douche bag? That's classic. What did you compromise and change your mind?

coffeypot said...

swampy, if I ask Sweet Tea to do that for me, I'm afraid she would pour the ashes down the comode and flush them.

Pamela said...

for just a moment when you started talking about ashes, I thought you wanted to be poured into an old coffee pot --

now wouldn't that be sentimental. Have your ashes in a big old cast-iron tea pot on the mantle?

I still have my best"est" dogs ashes waiting to be placed or buried in some special place in the yard.
I still have his dog tag, too.

Simply Amethyst said...

I thought I cooked mine the other day... Turns out I was using the timer, and hit "timed cook" instead - oveheated the danged thing! Thankfully, it was fine after a cool-off...

coffeypot said...

pamela, I do have an old stainless steel coffee pot that looks exactly like my icon. I didn’t think about using it for my ashes, though. It’s a great idea and I will run it by Sweet Tea. I would suggest a place to put you’re dog’s ashes be somewhere near a tree. You know how much dogs love a tree – or a fire hydrant, or a gate post, or a car tire, or just about anything that looks like it needs watering.

simply amethyst, welcome to the Deep South from the Midwest. Stop by anytime. I didn’t know what was happening. I was fixing my specialty, instant coffee, while I was moving the wash from the washer to the dryer when the buzzer went off. I finished what I was doing and went to the oven. Steam came out and the coffee had boiled half out of the cup. The only way the thing would turn off was if I left the door open. But even with that, it still went heels up. But after twenty five years, I couldn’t complain. She had been a good loyal part of the family. And she was missed all the way up till she was replaced.

I’m glad yours “recovered.” I guess it was the “loose nut” on the outside of the button that was the problem.