Saturday, February 09, 2008

Stress - Don't Want It

Stress training for the day.

A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked, "How heavy is this glass of water?”

Answers called out ranged from 250g. to 700g.

The lecturer replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long you try to hold it."

"If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance."

"In each case it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."

He continued, "And that's the way it is with stress management. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on."

"As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden. "

"So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work/life down. Don't carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow."

"Whatever burdens you're carrying now, let them down for a moment if you
can. Relax; pick them up later after you've rested. Life is short. Enjoy!"

And then he shared some ways of dealing with the burdens of life:

1 Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.

2 Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

3 Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

4 Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be recalled by their Maker.

5 If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

6 If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

7 It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

8 Never buy a car you can't push.

9 Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on.

10 Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

11 Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.

12 The second mouse gets the cheese.

13 When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

14 Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.

15 You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to on person.

16 Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.

17 We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.

18 A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

The most wasted day of all is that on which we have not laughed -
Nicholas Chamfort


katy said...

what a great post coffeypot and hey I laugh everyday, i have to look at himself everyday!!!

Southern (in)Sanity said...

I am particularly fond of #7.

Coffeypot said...

katy, thank you. Looking in a mirror is more of a wake up call than funny. Better in the morning than an alarm clock.

rwa, yep! I like ll and 12, myself. And 16 fit’s in with me, too. It happens alot.

Biddie said...

Wonderful advice. I liked them all, but #9 was a good one. I always have room in my mouth for both feet.

Anonymous said...

Great advice, CP! #17 is my favorite.

Fortune Cookies said...

great post coffey! I love #17!! :)

Mary Stebbins Taitt said...

Good ones--I like laughing and I like all the crayons in the same box. YAY for diversity!

e.Craig Crawford said...

Great points to ponder.

Pamela said...

10 Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

okay. (Waiting to be asked hmmmmm hmmmm hmmmm bwaa haa.)

Scarlet said...

Words of wisdom. Thanks! :)

Cap'n Ergo "XL+II" Jinglebollocks said...

hmmm... so if I jerk off for 5 minutes, my arm won't hurt as bad as if I pull my crank for 2 days? then there's something about the second mouse and what the hell?? These modern management techniques confuse the hell outta me...

Coffeypot said...

Mr. Lemon, yeah, the second mouse gets the cheese alright. It reminds me of the tearful story of a mouse who was caught in the trap with his butt in the air and his head pinned in the mousetrap. The second mouse had a piece of cheese in one hand and was mounting the first rat for a little love making. The caption said, “This just isn’t your luck day.” Seems the first one got screwed from both ends.