Saturday, April 26, 2008

OLDER THAN DIRT

Q: Where can men over the age of 60 find younger, sexy women who are interested in them?
A: Try a bookstore… under fiction.

Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?
A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you are done you will have a place to live.

Q: Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the Bible. Is that true? Where can it be found?
A: Yes. Matthew 14:92: "And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Egypt."

Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 60 + year old husband?
A: Tell him you're pregnant.

Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly-----wrinkles?
A: Take off your glasses

Q: Seriously! What can I do for these crow's feet and all those wrinkles on my face?
A: Go braless. It will usually pull them out.

Q: Why should 60+ year old people use valet parking?
A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.

Q: Is it common for 60+ year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?
A: Storing memory is not a problem, retrieving it is a problem.

Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?
A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.

Q: Where should 60+ year olds look for eye glasses?
A: On their foreheads.

Q: What is the most common remark made by 60+ year olds when they enter antique stores?
A: "Gosh, I remember these."

9 comments:

Pamela said...

I had to hurry past your previous post ... I nearly hurled!!! eeewwwww.

hey - it's true about glasses and wrinkles

coffeypot said...

pamaela, do they still scare you?

Mary Stebbins Taitt said...

LOL! Very funny, these are good ones! :-D

my word verification is ero-jak--only HERE!

Terry said...

Some of those items remind me of my dad.
He's definitely 'older than dirt' and better, might I add, as a result.
Most people that age are much more enjoyable to be with than these young whippersnappers who don't have time to slow down.
Great post coffey...I enjoyed having a laugh at those observations. :o)

Tookie Tail said...

Is this what I have to look forward to? LOLOL
Thanks for the smiles, Coffeypot!

Teri said...

loved the bible mention. that was FUNNY!

little wanderer said...

cant wait to get older!!! come see if you know me!!!

coffeypot said...

little wanderer, I do know. Thank you for your comment.

Cap'n Ergo Jinglebollocks said...

stoppit, maaan!! yer scarin' me!!