Thursday, September 25, 2008

Thirty things a Southern Boy would NEVER Say

 

30. Oh I just couldn't, she's only sixteen.

29. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.

28. Duct tape won't fix that.

27. Come to think of it, I'll have Wine Cooler.

26. We don't keep firearms in this house.

25. You can't feed that to the dog.

24. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.

23. Wrestling is fake.

22. We're vegetarians.

21. Do you think my gut is too big?

20. I'll have grapefruit & grapes instead of biscuits & gravy.

19. Honey, we don't need another dog.

18. Who gives a damn who won the Civil War?

17. Give me the small bag of pork rinds.

16. Too many deer heads detract from the décor

15. I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.

14. Trim the fat off that steak.

13. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.

12. The tires on that truck are too big.

11. I've got it all on the C: drive.

10. Unsweetened tea tastes better.

9. My fiancée, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.

8. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.

7. Checkmate.

6. She's too young to be wearing a bikini.

5. Hey, here's an episode of 'Hee Haw' that we haven't seen.

4. I don't have a favorite college team.

3. You Guys.

2. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Betty Mae.

AND NUMBER ONE THING THAT YOU WILL NEVER HEAR A SOUTHERN BOY SAY:

1. Nope, no more for me. I'm driving!
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7 comments:

CindyDianne said...

HA HA HA!

I like the "Nope, duct tape won't fix that"

CindyDianne said...

Though, duct tape AND baling wire probably will.

Trukindog said...

Heh heh all sooo true.

Cap'n Ergo "Carthage" Jinglebollocks said...

OMG, having lived deeeep in Dixie, this is all too troo and funny!! I'm especially fond of the references to Zima for the Superbowl and "we're vegitarians."

I guess that means they eat grass clippings??

Christine said...

The "checkmate" got me. My assistant just asked what was so funny. Now I have to print out and share.

little wanderer said...

LOL, now I must tell you over here it would have to be thirty things a northerner would never say, you see our southerners reckon they are 'posh' LOL

Miss Alex said...

BAHAHAHAHA