Thursday, January 15, 2009

Pillsbury Doughboy's Expiration Day Arrived

 

Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.

Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. The gravesite was piled high with flours.

Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he still was a crusty old man and was considered a positive roll model for millions.

Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough, three children: John Dough, Jane Dough and Dosey Dough, plus they have one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart.

The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

In memory of Doughboy, I ask that you rise to the occasion and take time to pass this on and share that smile with someone else that may be having a crumby day and kneads a lift.
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14 comments:

chesneygirl said...

HAA! That was very cleverly written ...love it! :)

Burfica said...

That is so dam bad, now pass the dam rolls!!!

Christine said...

Very Punny. :-)

Cap'n Ergo "XL" Jinglebollocks said...

I'm stoppin' @ th' store on th' way home for some o' them discounted X-mas cookies they gots on sale for cheap!!

Cant Hardly Wait said...

hahaha, I GET IT!

I didn't like him all that much anyway.

Brother Dave said...

Hey…!

These biscuits are burnt.

Biddie said...

That was awesome. I think that I will pass it on :)

Cooper Green said...

That one takes the cake. It was a slice. Had me rolling. Got a rise out of me.

Dammit, I wish I knew how to tell a joke. Mine are half-baked.

teri said...

I never get sick of reading his eulogy! Very heart warming.

Alekx said...

Darn now I want some bread and toaster strudels

Olly said...

So cute - I stoled it and sent it to my email list!

Summer said...

Very cute, I know someone who will love it! Thanks.

Amy said...

Very cute!

But now I'm sad. His greatest contribution to the world had to be those damn delicious place and bake cookies.

Anonymous said...

Do you have copy writer for so good articles? If so please give me contacts, because this really rocks! :)