Thursday, February 05, 2009

Why, Why, Why

 

Come on in, class, and take your seats. Today’s lesson is on the question, ‘WHY’.

In my on-going attempt to better your lives, I will post a list of questions that you have but are afraid to ask (except Stacy, who sent this to me.) Yes you are, too! Don’t argue with me. You are!

Anyways, here are the questions:

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are almost dead?
Why do we feel the need to push an elevator button that has already been pushed and the light is on?
Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they already know there is not enough money?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars; but have to
check when you say the paint is still wet?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?' Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That really hurt, why don't you watch where you're going?'
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manages to knock something else over?
Why, in winter, do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
And finally,
Why don’t you ever hear father-in-law jokes?

Now, I’ve ask the questions for you. I just wish there were some answers.
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6 comments:

e.Craig Crawford said...

Re: Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

I know that one by heart. The cupboards, too.

Brother Dave said...

Re: "Why do we feel the need to push an elevator button that has already been pushed and the light is on?"

This always amazes me when people do this at our facility. Once the call has been made to the system [by pushing the button] the elevator will eventually arrive. I wonder if those people think they are making the elevator hurry up.

As for me, when I see the button is lighted I am just happy that it was activated before I got there. Less waiting for me.

Pamela said...

why don't we hear father in law jokes?

SuvvyGirl said...

I like the superman one :P Never really thought about that til now.

coffeypot said...

Craig and Dave, I think we all have been duped into these two examples at one time or another.

Pamela, what's to joke about?

SuvvyGirl, I thought the Tarzan question was worth thinking about. Why does and who told him he should shave. He was raised by a bunch of hairy faced gorillas.

Christine said...

And....where are the answers? I particularly want to know how those freakin' little bugs get into the lights.