For most men life is a search for the proper manila envelope in which to get themselves filed.
- Clifton Fadiman
Education... has produced a vast population able to read but unable to distinguish what is worth reading.
- G. M. Trevelyan
Fish is the only food that is considered spoiled once it smells like what it is.
- P. J. O'Rourke
The future is here. It's just not widely distributed yet.
- William Gibson
The denunciation of the young is a necessary part of the hygiene of older people, and greatly assists in the circulation of their blood.
- Logan Pearsall Smith
Here's a tip to avoid death by celebrity: First off, get a life. They can't touch you if you're out doing something interesting.
- Kent Nichols and Douglas Sarine
The world only goes round by misunderstanding.
- Charles Baudelaire
I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.
- Emo Phillips
Silence propagates itself, and the longer talk has been suspended, the more difficult it is to find anything to say.
- Samuel Johnson
The most erroneous stories are those we think we know best - and therefore never scrutinize or question.
- Stephen Jay Gould
If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.
- J. Paul Getty
Remember, Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but backwards and in high heels.
- Bob Thaves
Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.
- Robert Orben
The keenest sorrow is to recognize ourselves as the sole cause of all our adversities.
I finally figured out the only reason to be alive is to enjoy it.
- Rita Mae Brown
The difference between a democracy and a dictatorship is that in a democracy you vote first and take orders later; in a dictatorship you don't have to waste your time voting.
- Charles Bukowski
Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.
- Erica Jong
The only way to make a man trustworthy is to trust him.
- Henry Stimson
There are 10^11 stars in the galaxy. That used to be a huge number. But it's only a hundred billion. It's less than the national deficit! We used to call them astronomical numbers. Now we should call them economical numbers.
- Richard Feynman
I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing.
- Johnny Carson
You talk to God, you're religious. God talks to you, you're psychotic.
- Doris Egan
Ability will never catch up with the demand for it.
- Malcolm Forbes
All human beings should try to learn before they die what they are running from, and to, and why.
- James Thurber
Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward.
- Kurt Vonnegut
A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp.
- Joan Rivers
Personally I'm always ready to learn, although I do not always like being taught.
- Sir Winston Churchill
If there were no God, there would be no Atheists.
- G. K. Chesterton
She was a woman who, between courses, could be graceful with her elbows on the table.
- Henry James
Any fool can make a rule, and any fool will mind it.
- Henry David Thoreau
I love quotations because it is a joy to find thoughts one might have, beautifully expressed with much authority by someone recognized wiser than oneself.
- Marlene Dietrich
The people I distrust most are those who want to improve our lives but have only one course of action.
- Frank Herbert
Some things have to be believed to be seen.
- Ralph Hodgson
Oh, I bet he gets all the ladies -
29 minutes ago