Wednesday, June 17, 2009

The Females In My Life

The females in my life have all had an effect on me and how I am today.

This is my first wife. She cured me from drinking. Imagine, if you can, waking up one morning with a head-splitting, sick as a dog hangover and rolling over and seeing her laying next to you.

You try to remember who and how…when you left the bar you were with this beautiful chick who looked like Dana Delaney.


So you try to ease out of the bed and notice on your left hand a new wedding band. I haven’t been drunk since.

This is one of our more happy moments…before I gave up on drugs.

This is me and Judy. She changed my life in that she calmed me down. She taught me patience and how to look at things in a different light. She is brilliant, too. (She married me, didn’t she?) She had a full scholarship to Princeton in math. Later changed her major to Chemistry so she could be with her husband who was a Chemistry major, too. But she can also do dumb stuff (she married me, didn’t she.) We make each other laugh and we have accomplished a lot by giving total support to each other. She’s my best friend.

This is my mistress. She can be anyone I want her to be. Dana Delaney, Catherine Bell, Olive Oil, anyone! And she isn't jealous. Sometimes she even allows other femals to join in our fun and games.

I’ve been a blessed man because of these females. Who are the ones who helped you through life? Any stories or photoes?
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Anonymous said...

oh-- you are a blessed man, you are. Judy deserves a medal for putting up with you and your antics. Love your posts! Keep up the funny stuff, so I can send it to my Republican brother, and my Democrat friends! hahaha! T

SkippyMom said...

I love the pic of you and Judy! So gorgeous. You are indeed a lucky man.

Sarge Charlie said...

good one mr coffeypot, my first wife drove me to drank, oh well, I have not had a drank for 23 years now.

Special K said...

Judy's pic loaded before your "first wife's" did and when it came up I was LMAO!!!!!!!! You are a very lucky man!! Judy must be a saint! :)

Coffeypot said...

Anonymous T, I agree that I am a blessed man. You could be blessed too if you give up being a Dem and moving over to the real American party.

Skippy, Thank you. I know I’m gorgeous and Judy is cute, too.

Sarge, women have been the culprit in many of my less envious escapades.

Special K, my first wife was fun to snuggle up to in the winter.

Cooper Green said...

I remember once you wrote a post about getting a handjob in a movie threatre. That was very nice of her, but I'm surprised you married her. And I'm talking about your first wife, of course. Judy probably has the good sense not to go to movies with you.

Brother Dave said...

You and your first wife looked more alike.

Unknown said...

You are not a well man, Coffeypot. Not a well man at all...

e.Craig Crawford said...

What the hell! I thought Rosie Palmer was MY mistress!

Biddie said...

Oh course you lucky to have a wife like Judy. She is gorgeous and muct have the patience of a saint. :)

Southern (in)Sanity said...

Wow. That's great stuff.

Love the picture of you and Judy.

Trukindog said...

My first robbed me blind,
My second chose drugs over me.
My third just up & disappeared one day.

Rosey palm is the only woman I've ever known to be truly faithful...sad huh!

GrizzBabe said...

You are indeed so blessed to be surrounded by such love. Even from the hand.

SuvvyGirl said...

I am tagging you!!

Here are THE RULES…..

Pick 6 unimportant things you love
Mention & link to the person who tagged you
Tag 6 of your favourite bloggers to play along

(don’t forget to comment on their blog to let them know they’ve been tagged!)