Tuesday, July 14, 2009

What Do You Do?

Okay guys! The pity fest is over. I'm back to my asshole self, but I do thank you guys for your support. Occasionally I have these little episodes. Next time just ignore me like you were a Baptist in a Liquor Store.


What do you do? I’m in a kind of funk and I don’t know what to do.

I read many blogs each day, some on my blog roll and some I scan from those blog rolls. I read about your problems, your health, your internal battles with your demons, your arguments with family and friends and your frustrations with schools and work and church and IT help from India. I commiserate with you. I sometimes comment. But I have no such outlet.

I don’t have any close friends or BFF’s. My choice. Best friends will stab you in the back. They will use you and drain you of every bit of energy your sole possesses. They cannot keep a secret. They have best friends, too, that may or may not know you that they can confide in over your secret. Then that BFF will tell their BFF, who, by the way, does know you, and the secret is out. I had rather face an enemy than confide in a friend. At least you know the enemy is out to hurt you and you can respond in the appropriate manner.

I don’t talk about stuff that bothers me. Mostly I just keep them in until I explode, then the damage is done. You can’t take back words. The closest I could come would be in blogging about it. Mainly because you don’t really give a shit because you have your own problems to deal with, and probably nothing would change. Another reason I don’t blog about my demons is my family reads my blog. If I wanted them to know anything I would tell them. But if I don’t want them to know, then what do I do?

Hell, I don’t think anyone would even understand, anyway.

Don’t worry! I’m not having women problems (dammit) and I didn’t just discover that I am queer as a football bat. I don’t have an incurable medical problem (unless you consider an enlarged prostate, diabetes and heart disease an incurable medical problem.)

It’s just that I am in a funk and there is no one to talk too over a cold beer. I know, it’s my fault for keeping people at arms length - out of self preservation, but there are times that it would be nice to be able to confide in someone and feel safe. NAH! Ain’t gonna happen.

I’ve told you this much, now let’s see if it stays between us. See!!! It’s out already.

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CI-Roller Dude said...

Now...you think you have it bad? I know why there are so many Muslim Terroooo-Ist in the world.
They have:
2 or more wives (always nagging)
They marry their cousins, so they pass on all kinds of bad DNA
They have 25 kids and grand kids to feed
They don't have electrical power most of the time, so No AC
They can't drink a cold beer
and they have to beat their heads on the ground to pray 5 times a day and listen to an Iman babble at prayer time.

Now, do you really have anything to be upset about? This is why they join the Ji-had....to get away from it all.

Coffeypot said...

Oh My Allah, CI Dude, I'm a fucking terrorist.

No! Wait!

I don’t have two wives. I don’t know any of my cousins, I only have one bio daughter and two great grandkids. I am writing in a lit room on an electric machine, and I have AC, I drink the hell out of a cold beer and I not only pray, but I pray to God. However I don’t get on my knees for any one (didn’t you read my post - I’m not giving the fuckers a target) for any reason.

So what have I got to worry about? You have cured me. Will you marry me?

CI-Roller Dude said...

I can't marry you, you're not my type. It's just all the college crap I learned and having to deal with "citizens' for 30 years as a cop and all the years in the Army...
the truth is, I don't really give a shit either.

Coffeypot said...

I figured. I don't go for that shit either. But I will buy you a beer one day.

Lindi said...

You can come over and leave a ranting comment on my blog anytime.

Biddie said...

My bff has been my bff for years and years. More than half of my life. BUT there have been real crack pots mingled in there over the years.
I know what you mean about blogging stuff that your family reads. Once you make friends in blogging community, or your family is involved, you lose the ability to write about certain things....

Coffeypot said...

Lindi, thank you for the invite, but I'm afraid that once I got started you wouldn't allow me back because of the language.

Biddie, in thinking back, I don’t think I have ever had a BFF. Maybe I don’t’ know how to cultivate one.

Unknown said...

Sorry to hear of your funk.
After years of Al-Anon, I've learned to ask, "How important is it?" Normally the answer is, 'not very important at all'...
How about starting a new blog, go private and rant when needed. Invite those who you wish to share your words.
Just a thought.
I'm an e-mail away....

Coffeypot said...

AM, thank you, too, for the invite. I thought about the secret blog, but I wouldn't tell anyone about it. I would just be typing my fingers off for no one to read.

Fantastagirl said...

You know what - you can email me anytime - I'll listen to your problem, and if I had a solution I'd give it to you. Chances are - I won't have a solution, but at least you could feel better because someone else knows that today sucked big time for you!

I hope whatever it is gets better, and whoever is causing your problems wises up!

Coffeypot said...

Fantastagirl, where you been? What is your new blog location. When I click on your icon it takes me to your old place and I can't find your new location. And thanks!

Unknown said...

I son't know whether to console you or kick you in the ass! You've got and made more friend than you can possibly count in a day. Hell...I even consider you to be one my good friends. But then again, I don't get out much. Buck up Pot. You haven't even begun to percolate yet.

Coffeypot said...

Thanks, Jim. The steam is building up now. I'll be percolating soon.

Brother Dave said...

You are correct… keeping all your relationships at arm's length means no confidants.

The best situation, as we all know, is for people to have at least one sounding-board in their lives. For some it is an extremely understanding spouse, or perhaps a sibling.

I have been fortunate that for the past approximate twenty years a BMF has been someone who keeps confidences. This person is totally non-judgmental, and is good to chat with over a few beers.

He has remained single for years; yet, has always had reasonably close female friends. Perhaps his married male acquaintances have influenced his decision to remain single without committments.

Another person's perspective on things, without the unsolicited advise on how to fix everything, is a wonderful gift.

Them furry guys you haul around all the time are good listeners, and are known to never gossip.

Coffeypot said...

BD, you are fortunate. I have had friends that I use to go out with to talking and have a beer or 20. Most all were Nam vets. But over the years they have drifted away or are gone. But non of them I would consider best friends. We were just pals and softball teammates and stuff. And keeping them over arms length doesn’t hurt as much when they are gone. And they are going at a faster rate, now.

Brother Dave said...

RE: "And they are going at a faster rate, now."

That is true with us older guys.

I cannot recall if it appeared on your blog; however, on someone's there was a list of truisms. One stated:

The nice thing about growing older is there is less peer pressure.

Anonymous said...

Little do you know it but you are venting and I like reading your blogs. So just vent here and we will all read it and either give you some advice or vent with you. I am there for you coffeypot vent away buddy.

Southern (in)Sanity said...

I know the feeling, coffeypot.

Mary Stebbins Taitt said...

yeah, that's it, good idea, you can spill your heart out on OUR blogs because your family doesn't read THEM!

I don't have any friends except BB.

Cooper Green said...

You can borrow my fish if you like. You can even have the one I didn't eat.

Kanani said...

Well, I don't know you, but I hope this little funk goes away.
But I do know how it is to not have really tight friends. I'm in a transition period myself.

Anyway, if you were here, I'd feed you cake.

ccw said...

I'm very good at keeping my mouth shut and I really like cold beer. Come to Ohio and vent!