Worth A Boner

 
I was coming home from NY today. It was raining pretty hard and the traffic was heavy. But down around PA exit 52 on I-81 they are doing road work (what part of rain didn’t the understand) and people had to be rerouted. I was at mile marker 74 when the traffic stopped. Just North of where another interstate mergers into I-81.

Mind you, this was at 5 P.M. on Friday and I had been up since 9 A.M. Thursday morning. I was ill tempered, tired and hungry. So after an hour I was able to move over to the right lane, then jump on the emergency lane and get off at the next exit ramp.

I drove around and though I had a chance to get back on, but you couldn’t see I-81 due to the trees. I was further South, but still not far enough and everyone was still not moving. So I make a u-turn and went back up the ramp and rode around till I found (with the help of Agnes, my GPS mochene) another feeder to the I-81. This time I was sitting still in the far left lane and NO BODY was moving.

I kept looking at the median (it was over twice as wide as the picture above.) It is one of those grassy ‘V’ shaped medians and I could see about a mile down the road. There was a place that wasn’t as steep as where I was setting, but, as I said, it was raining dogs and cats. But I know speed DOES pay sometimes and not having any scents helps, too, so I pull onto the median and took off. I got up to sixty miles per hour, eased down the median and let the left wheels roll into and up the other side and then my right wheels down, over and up. I kept up my speed as I climbed out of the middle and made a u-turn on the North bound lane and took off.

I had to keep the speed up because it was wet and slick and I didn’t want to get stuck and have the Pennsylvania Highway Patrol come over and give me a ‘wood shampoo’ for being so stupid (I prefer daring and innovative.) And when I finally made the turnaround, people in the South bound lane were blowing their horns and waving. I don’t know it they were applauding me or cussing me, but I was moving and they weren’t.

I got off I-81 a little North, drove up and down several little two lane roads (looking at Agnes and the layout of the roads) and ending up going though Mechanicsburg, PA. I turned onto W. Main and dropped back 200 years. That little town is beautiful with all the old homes and, further out, all the old farms and barns. It was well worth the detour. And I came out at mile marker 47, well below the other shit an I was running 75 and 80 mph until I finally got so tired I had to stop.

I haven’t done anything that daring and stupid since…oh…um…last week. Actually, it has been around 30 years since I quit doing stuff like that. But it was a hoot to know I still have it. That is definitely boner stuff.