Saturday, September 12, 2009

Children's Science Exam


If you need a good laugh, try reading through these real children's science exam answers....

Children's Science Exam

Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g., abdomen)
A: The body is consisted into three parts -- the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels A, E, I, O, and U.

Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.

Q: What does 'varicose' mean?
A: Nearby.

Q: Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarian Section.'
A: The Caesarian Section is a district in Rome.

Q: What does the word 'benign' mean?'
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

The all made scence to me...where's the joke?
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anon said...

Hah, I can't pick a favorite!

Rebecca said...

Kids are a total riot! The hubby is an elementary teacher and I LOVE his stories. He needs to write a book sharing what the kids say there.

Since you know I'm a sign language interpreter - I'll tell you that one year on the first day of Freshman Science I had a girl approach me after class and ask if 'that thing you do...umm...with your - like - French or something?' It took every ounce of self control I have to chomp down on my retort to that one!

Coffeypot said...

powergirl, it is hard to pick just one. I liked the fibula as a small lie.

Rebecca, I don't know if these are true, but they certainly could be. Kids tickle me to death - and they are so serious when they say these things. So!?!?! What language do you sign? :-)

Anonymous said...

I brought a snake skin into class last year.

One of the kids asked if it was from a real snake.


Coffeypot said...

Tell the kid, no it's from a dead snake.

Mary Stebbins Taitt said...

LOL!! :-P