Friday, October 30, 2009

Got A Prescription


I went to the doctor today. I just wasn’t getting better and actually felt a little worse, so I made the phone call. Good news is I don’t have the flu of any variation. Bad news is I have a bug of come kind. I called Orkin, but they wouldn’t come out.

So I did the next best thing. I got the doctor to give me a prescription for some antibiotics. There is nothing that can be done for a viral infection, but the coughing and stuff that is in the ‘bug’ category can be handled, controlled, or hopefully cured with a good antibiotic. I was assigned a drug called Clarithromycin ER. I will have to wait a day or two to see how great this drug is for my old body.

But let me ask you something. One the label, along with personal information and phone numbers and stuff is this instruction: “Take two tablets by mouth every day with food.” Now I have no problem with the two tablets every day with food. But why the by mouth?

Do you really believe that there are some people out there who would take the vile of pills and read the instructions without the ‘by mouth’ and not know that it is to be taken my mouth? Someone who would take the vile and say, “Man, I think I will put the two pills up each nostril and let the snot dissolve them.” or “ I wonder if the antibiotics with get into my system faster if I put one in each ear?” Maybe they would think that they would add a little sexy excitement to their life by shoving the two pills up their ass.

Okay, I know I’m not hip (if y’all even say that word anymore) to many of the new words and sayings like ‘Word’ or ’Snap’ or ‘Fazzile’ or "May ah gank some toothpaste? All ye damn hood ratz." But are people just that stupid that they have to be told to take the pills by mouth? To me, when a doctor or pharmacist gives you a vile of pills, unless it specifically states to shove one up your ass or dissolve in water or juice, I am going to take it by mouth. How ‘bout you?

9 comments:

Matty said...

LOL....those directions are there because of idiots who actually didn't know how to take them.

It's like the warning labels everywhere:

Don't place hands or feet under mower while blade is engaged.

Don't hang onto or jump from car while in motion.

Don't attach vacuum nozzle to private parts while in suction mode.

Ok, I made that last one up, or was it from personal experience. Aw, I don't remember, but my point is they have to give specific instructions based on the fact that people don't get it.

Hope your old self is feeling better soon.

Daffy said...

I KNOW! Who actually blow dries their hair while sleeping? I mean really...I guess technically I do because I never really get to sleep therefore I'm always alseep if that makes any sense. I'm just able to function as though I am awake or some such thing I totally think I'm on overdrive now and the speed is really kicking in you know cause I live a short drive from the meth captial of the US which is really fortunate or unfortuante depending on how you look at it or if you need to keep yourself awake or some such thing I totally forgot where I was going with this but thats okay cause I'm sure you understand did I forget to start adding periods somewhere in her I just cant remember......

Julie said...

Take two "tables" by mouth? Dude, that's a lot of wood for one guy. :)

Coffeypot said...

Matty, On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness. On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.

Daffy, put the pipe and the coffee cup down and slowly back away. Period!

Julie, HAHAHA Thanks, no matter how many times I proof read this shit...

Olly said...

Yeah, I've had a curling iron with instructions that read "do not use while sleeping". I think the prescription is labeled as such because the know the user most likely has a high fever, lol. Never know where those pills will end up.

Ed Adams said...

They gave you some pretty good shit. It's not as good as Levaquin, but it should kill what you've got. As long as you don't shove them up your ass. It's tempting, I know.

PS My comment verification word is "apebum". Fitting I think.

Secretia said...

It said "ER" after the name?
That may mean they expect to see you in the emergency room! I hope not. Feel better soon.

Brother Dave said...

I think that for people like you the pharmacy is making it clear these are not suppositories. ;-)

Coffeypot said...

Olly, as long as you don’t wake up at night and get your curling iron confused with your vibrator you will be okay.

Ed, thanks for the info. I am allergic to Penicillin and penny based meds, and I’m not sure if Levaquin is one of those types, or if the doctor isn’t getting a kickback from the Levaquin pharmaceutical company to prescribe the drug, but this is what he prescribed.

Secretia, I think ER stands for Extended Release…or Eat Roaches, or Ejaculate Regularly (seriously, because of an enlarged prostate, my dr told me to ejaculate as often as possible to keep down the chances of the Big C there. I ask for a Rx to get the insurance to pay for hooters, or for a couple of his nurses to give in-house treatments…but he said ’No!’)

BD, anal insertions of any kind is not my favorite thing, at least to the point where I won’t go looking for it.