Tuesday, December 15, 2009

My Word Is Law


The wife and I were at Wal Mart picking up some stuff for stocking stuffers. She noticed a display of blue jeans for $8.00 a pair.

There are a few things you need to know before I go on.

First of all I HATE to shop for anything except groceries. HATE IT!

Second, I only wear blue jeans or shorts. I have a couple of slack type pants for special occasions, but I go no where special, so they just hang in the closet. I own one suit that gets worn maybe once a year.

I have two pair of jeans that do not have holes in the knees. I like holes. It gives the jeans character. All are comfortable and fit the way I like them. They are family to me, and well taken care of in their old age.

Judy wants me to have some new jeans. She argues that most of my jeans have holes and the two who don’t are faded and worn looking.

I told her to not talk so loud and to be nice. I was wearing one of my holey jeans and the senior member of my jean collection would get his feelings hurt. She scoffed.

And an argument ensued - right in the middle of Wal Mart. But no one paid any attention, of course. It is Wal Mart, after all. But we argued because I don’t want to buy jeans right here at Christmas. The kiddies need stuff. She needs stuff. I need nothing.

So I told her that in no way was I spending any money on a cheap pair of jeans just because the are on sale for $8 per. I don’t want the Goddamn things. Read my lips, Dammit. It’s my final word, NO! And I walked off.

She’s pissed, too. Call’s me names, tells me not to go by the Sports department because there are knives and pool sticks and things she can use on me. But, Dammit I have spoken.

So now I have two new pairs of jeans. I’ll even wear one pair tonight when I go to the kiddies school band Christmas concert. I know! I will be hot and all the ladies will be eyeing my studly pair of $8 jeans and daydreaming. Sorry girls! You will just have to suffer and wish. Why not…that’s what I do when I see one of you in a great pair of jeans. It’s payback time.

14 comments:

Southern (in)Sanity said...

Be careful out there with your new jeans on.

CI-Roller Dude said...

Eight Dollar Jeans...wow.
I still have some well worn jeans I hate to throw away...

Hillbilly Duhn said...

Careful now, too hot and you'll begin to sizzle!

Usually when hubs disagrees that he needs something and pulls out the kid card "They need it more then I do..." I generally wait till he goes to work and buy it anyway. And accidently lost the reciept. I win.

Ed Adams said...

Work it coffey!

Shake your money maker!

Secretia said...

Walmart, my kind of town. The jeans are worth the money!

Just Another Momma said...

The wife better watch out for those new jeans you got, you might be in big trouble tonight in those things!

The Peach Tart said...

Ladies beware, Coffey's out showing what he's working with.

Coffeypot said...

Well, I'm back from the concert now and I guess I was just too hot. None of the ladies made a pass at me. I guess I was just too intimidating in my new jeans. I guess I need to turn my sexiness down some - if I can.

powdergirl said...

Jaysus Murphy, Man. I could barely handle the heat from way the hell over here.

Good job layin; down the law, btw.

Paxford said...

"My Word Is Law"

Sir Yes Sir! *salutes*

[Opps.. that was an aussie/brit naval salute - let me turn it around so you don't laugh too hard]

Aleta said...

LMAO! I could picture this happening as I read your blog. Too funny! And... hilarious response on my blog post. Thanks for the smiles!

Mala said...

Tell me you left the price tag on....

Kanani said...

Ha ha.
She should have just said nothing and tossed them into the cart.

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