Saturday, December 26, 2009

The Resume

My Resimay FOR Offerman Creative

To hoom it mae cunsern,

I waunt to apply for the job what I saw in the paper.

I kin Type realee qwik wit one finggar and do sum a counting..

I think I am good on the fone and I no I am a pepole person.

I no my spelling is not too good.

My salerery is open, I kin start emeditely.

Thank yoo in advanse fore yore anser.



PS: Because my resimay is a bit short

I sent a pickture of me.

Employer’s response:

Dear Tiffany,

It’s okay, honey, we got spell check.

See you Monday.


CI-Roller Dude said...

I'd hire her!

I had the joy of sitting on a police hiring interview thing...
After reading some of the applications, I wonder wtf?

anon said...

Is she juggling water melons?

Jesus! How do you pack those around all day?

I know, I know, the ever gallant Mr Coffey offers 2 helping hands...

Ed said...

Holy Shit.

That's gotta be Photoshopped.

Hopefully, she's applying to be a Lifeguard, cause there's no fucking way that she'll drown.

Anonymous said...

She'll get a job as a receptionist!

Julie D said...

Good morning! I'm here getting caught up on my post holiday blog reading. Is there coffee?

Mala said...

Thank goodness that tree is there to prevent her from toppeling over!

Rational Nation USA said...

WOW, she can be my receptionist anytime. All she's got to do is smile, talk nice, and well, look good.

Oops, just woke from my short lived dream! :-)

Coffeypot said...

Can you guys imagine the stretch marks on her baby's lips?

Julie, yep! Be nice and you can have coffee straight from the spout.

Mala, tree with strong roots.

RN USA, they would make nice pillows for an afternoon nap...

Anonymous said...

omg, Coffey....ew. lol word verification for this particular comment was "cones". LMFAO!!!

Ducky said...

Good lord! She doesn't just have dairy cannons she's got the whole fucking dairy farm behind those two triangles!

CI-Roller Dude said...

oh hell, I'm saving her pic for my desktop background.... if she had fallen off the Titanic, she'd still be floating today.

Coffeypot said...

Dude, you have one of those WIDE screens then?

Southern (in)Sanity said...

Great. I just spit water all over my computer and monitor.

Tracie said...

Boobs by Photoshop. Have to be. Don't they?

PS My word verification is "millak".