Wednesday, February 17, 2010

TMI Thursday - The Little Girl

Another TMI, but this isn’t a fun one.

Regardless of what you think of me, I have tried to do what’s right, or what I think is right, most of my life. I haven’t always been successful, but who the fuck has.

This was especially true when dating a woman with children. One of my self-imposed rules was to never let a child see me coming out of her bedroom in the morning. I would either go home during the night or leave before the kids got up.

I feel that it is important what the kid thinks of their mother, and I would never do anything to the mother with the child in the room to damage their image of the mother. Oh, I would kiss and/or hug her in front of them. But nothing naughty or suggestive. It’s just that the kids need to see as much positive as they can and have nothing but love for the mother.

Anylove, one morning, after an unusually long active night and a little too much booze, I didn’t wake up early as usual. The mother had a 6 year old daughter who I had played a card game with the night before. We got along great. Lots of laughing and silly knock, knock jokes and stuff. But this morning she was standing in the dinning room watching her mom fix breakfast when I walked out of the bedroom - fully clothed.

She turned and look at me and the smile left her face. She said, “Did you stay all night? Did you screw my mom?”

I just stood there. The mom was standing in the kitchen doorway with her mouth open. I just looked at the mom, turned and walked out of the house. I went out to my car and threw up. I felt so small I would need a parachute to jump off a dime. Did I do anything to harm that sweet little girl?

I don’t know what experience she had, or if she had been talking to her friends at school, but she sure hit the nail on the head.

I never dated the mom again. We talked and she was working with her daughter, but I wasn’t man enough to go back into that house.

I think about that morning often when I seen people dating with their kids along. I hope they have the kids psyche in mind while they are getting to know each other.

I dated Judy for five years before I ask her and her family to be my tax deduction. And it was around 2 years before her kids knew I was spending the night. I just hope and pray that little girl was just going through a phase she didn’t understand and that she grew up happy and still loving and respecting her mother.


Jamie said...

What a very sweet post. I am impressed that you cared then and still care about her. Of course I don't know, but I would think that one little incident would not have scarred her for life. I am utterly amazed at how this younger generation carries on in front of thier kids, and how the kids just take it all in stride these days, I suppose they know nothing different. How very sad it is.

I hope this Thursday is a good one for you. :)

June said...

Ward and I dated for 3 years before we were married. Ward was a firm believer in not spending the night when Pinkus was home. It was the right thing to do and Pinkus respects Ward very much.

Travis said...

Yep. I think you did right.

I would have gone to jail in the same situation.

Check out my TMI!

Just Another Momma said...

awwww, you're so sweet but I won't tell you that, don't want you to get a big head. Kids are learning all kinds of things from school. I can't believe what I'm hearing from my kids.

I don't think that it bothered the girl they bounce back and most likely had no idea what was going on really nor does she remember now.

Have a good one!

Olly said...

I love that you would care so much about your girl friends' children. So many people just don't give a crap. What's worse is how many mothers have a different overnight guest frequently when their kids are around.

Lucy said...

Wow, how touching and really it was the mother's responsibilty to shield the child but it was awful sweet of you to care so much, shows your character.

~Kaydee~ said...

Wow. I liked you from the first post of yours I read, but now I respect you. Your post shows so much of your character and the caliber of a man you are.

Thank you for sharing with us.

blueviolet said...

You are a softie at heart!!!!

Anonymous said...

That must have been some shock when that question was asked!

ClevelandPoet said...

yeah you did very right.


Tracie said...

You're really a nice person, aren't you? You'd better not write any more stuff like this or you'll ruin your reputation.

PS The girl was probably fine. They hear all kinds of crap at school. I worry about my divorced friends' kids too.