Monday, June 21, 2010

Redneck Monday - More Useful Sayings


I have been a slacken in my Monday Redneck stuff. Been on vacation and stuff and just got a little behind (more flat than little - oh - not that kind of behind - sorry) and having to catchen up to do. So her are few sayens we use on a daily bases. Y’all have a good’un, yah hear.

Her behind looks like a couple of squirrels fightin' over an acorn in a gunny sack.

That boy was shaking like a dog shittin' hammer handles.

That truck couldn't pull a spoon out of a cats ASS!

WHEN IT'S RAINING HARD YOU SAY....IT'S COMIN' A TURD FLOATER!

She's got an ass like a ford 9". (Don’t know what this means either. Never heared of it afore)

He's dumber than two sacks of hair.

Don't let your alligator mouth overload your mockingbird butt.

I have three speeds: on, off, and don't push your luck.

You could give her Heaven and Earth - she'd still want a tater patch in hell.

You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can't wipe your
friends on your saddle.

That boy ain't the smartest peanut in the turd.

She ain't too purdy, but she can cook like hell.

She's so hot I could jump on her like a rat on a chetto.

Whatever cranks your tractor.

Slicker than shit through a tin horn.

That’s about as useful as suckin’ on a titty through a sweatshirt!

I don’t understand, so I disagree.

Colder then day old penguin shit.

That means about as much to me as a strawberry up a bear's butt.

That would tear the twist in the back of your crutch out.

Sis on you Pister, you ain't so muckin' fuch!

Why don’t you take a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut!

If duct tape don't fix'r then you're not using enough duct tape.

Hope this holds you for a few days.

11 comments:

rxBambi said...

bahahaha! too funny!

couple others:
hotter 'n two rats f***ing in a wool sock

lower than a snake belly in a wagon rut

Ace said...

Glad your back (LOVED the pics in the previous post) my education was lacking something.

Miss Em said...

Hi Coffeypot,

Many of those have passed through the gray goo but not quiet like you have them written in this post.

Enjoyed the differece GREATLY.

Miss Em :D

Barb said...

"I've been working harder than a 3-legged cat trying to bury a turd on a frozen pond" trying to remember some red neck sayins. How 'bout, "Ya done flung a cravin' on me!" "It's comin' up a cloud"

Barb said...

I wish I could think faster. I usta could.

Daffy said...

"That’s about as useful as suckin’ on a titty through a sweatshirt!"

I promise you I will use this at least once every day this week. I laughed out loud. I love this stuff!

Hope you're recovering from Disney!

Citizen Soldier said...

Now that was funny and one I hear a lot in the army is " You look as confused as a football bat."

Wrexie said...

Got any sweet tea to go with that?
I see you didn't loose your sense of humor in Disney. hehe

How 'bout...
"Don’t let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya."

Ed said...

Turd Floater...HA!

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