I have been a slacken in my Monday Redneck stuff. Been on vacation and stuff and just got a little behind (more flat than little - oh - not that kind of behind - sorry) and having to catchen up to do. So her are few sayens we use on a daily bases. Y’all have a good’un, yah hear.
Her behind looks like a couple of squirrels fightin' over an acorn in a gunny sack.
That boy was shaking like a dog shittin' hammer handles.
That truck couldn't pull a spoon out of a cats ASS!
WHEN IT'S RAINING HARD YOU SAY....IT'S COMIN' A TURD FLOATER!
She's got an ass like a ford 9". (Don’t know what this means either. Never heared of it afore)
He's dumber than two sacks of hair.
Don't let your alligator mouth overload your mockingbird butt.
I have three speeds: on, off, and don't push your luck.
You could give her Heaven and Earth - she'd still want a tater patch in hell.
You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can't wipe your friends on your saddle.
That boy ain't the smartest peanut in the turd.
She ain't too purdy, but she can cook like hell.
She's so hot I could jump on her like a rat on a chetto.
Whatever cranks your tractor.
Slicker than shit through a tin horn.
That’s about as useful as suckin’ on a titty through a sweatshirt!
I don’t understand, so I disagree.
Colder then day old penguin shit.
That means about as much to me as a strawberry up a bear's butt.
That would tear the twist in the back of your crutch out.
Sis on you Pister, you ain't so muckin' fuch!
Why don’t you take a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut!
If duct tape don't fix'r then you're not using enough duct tape.