Monday, June 07, 2010

Redneck Monday - You Know It's Summer In GA When...


YOU KNOW YOU ARE IN GEORGIA IN JUNE WHEN. . . .

The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.

The trees are whistling for the dogs.

The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.

Hot water now comes out of both taps.

You can make sun tea instantly.

You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.

The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly.

You discover that in June it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.

You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.

You actually burn your hand opening the car door.

You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.

Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"

You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.

The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.

Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs.

The cows are giving evaporated milk.

Ah, what a place to call home. . . God Bless Our State of Georgia!

Growing up we didn't have air-conditioning or a window fan, and the nights would be so hot and still that I would pray that my brother would fart so I could feel a breeze. From June to August we rarely slept under covers and the bed spread would be wet from our sweat. The humidity in Georgia can be brutal if you are not use to it…and now that I have air-conditioning, I AM NOT USE TO IT ANYMORE.

The windows were never close during the summer months in the old home. Now I don’t think the windows will even open in my house. Gotta have the air on. We even sleep with a fan blowing across the bed. I don’t need farts anymore.
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5 comments:

Miss Em said...

Wait until the fan on the AC quits and there is a back-log before they can get to you.

It's back to the "Old June" except for the fans.

Miss Em

Momma Fargo said...

Awesome. No wonder it's so hot there...didn't the devil go down to Georgia? :)

Paxford said...

Ahh.. sounds like you'd survive a summer in Brisbane Australia just fine (same hideous humidity here)

Come on over! :)

Pax

Lickety Splitter said...

Georgia!! Home sweet home. I love the heat, it just doesn't love me. I remember back in the day when I was a kid, I would be barefooted making many a run for it across parking lots. I swear I think my feet curled so as not to burn their bottoms.

Boomer Pie said...

Georgia has the most beautiful spring starting about end of Feb. But in the spring you can't open your windows because the inside of your house would be buried in pollen.Then the heat arrives and you can't open your windows til December.
I guess all you can do is hang out at the Varsity!