Redneck Monday - Mo Sayings

Damn!

Got befuddled acause of the holiday and fergot it be Monday.

Sorry!

So here tis:

About BBQ: if you go away clean you ain't eatin' it right.

Why fart and waste it when you can burp and taste it?

She's faster than a striped assed ape.

That's LOWER then a mole's belly button on digging day!

He's as full of shit as a Christmas turkey.

He's the meanest SOB ever to shit behind shoe leather.

That smells like the shithouse door on a shrimp boat.

That's sharper than a mother-in-law's tongue.

Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit!

If you can sleep with 'em, I can eat with 'em!

It's my Mother's fault. I was never like this 'till I was born.

She has more chins than a Chinese phone book.

I'm so horney I'd do a snake if it didn't have teeth!!!

Your mother's so stupid, she thinks cheerios are donut seeds!

I'm so mad I could spit! (only ladies say this)

He jumped on that like a duck on a June bug.

That guy is as Nellie as pink ink with a voice that would chip paint.

Your uglier than a burning up donkey in the middle of winter

We was fishin' on that lake, an' it come up a cloud an' the bottom dropped out!
(Interpretation: "We were fishing, and got caught in a downpour.")

It's hotter than the hinges of hell.

Madder than a one legged woman at the IHOP. (I don’t know either)

I’m having more fun than a tornado in a trailer park.

Boy you got about as much sense as god gave a goose.

The only thing that separates you from White Trash is your rich husband!

If it can't be cooked with bacon grease, it ain't worth fixin', let alone eatin'.

Faster than a cat can lick its ass.

Warped like a dogs hind leg.

Well Hell yes it's hard for him to understand 'cause he's always got both ass-cheeks wrapped around his ears!