Tuesday, August 17, 2010

EGGS



Dave came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber.

He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said 'You died in your sleep, Dave.

Dave was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!'

St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken.'

Dave was devastated, but begged St.. Peter to send him to a farm near his home. The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking, and pecking the ground.

A rooster strolled past. 'So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first day here?'

'Not bad,' replied Dave the hen, 'but I have this strange feeling inside. Like I'm gonna explode!'

'You're ovulating,' explained the rooster. 'Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before?'

'Never!' said Dave.

'Well, just relax and let it happen,' says the rooster. 'It's no big deal.'

Dave did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg!

Dave was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon
laid another egg -- his joy was overwhelming.

As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard his wife yell.....'Dave! Wake up. You shit the bed!'
.
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12 comments:

Ace said...

Ewwwwww!

Ragtop lady said...

Way too funny tonite Coffey - u are a mess & a half.

Weezer said...

What.can.I.say?
Wonder if this was created from experience......

Matty said...

Where do you get these? Funny as always!

June said...

Haaahaaaahhaaa!!!
Passing this one to Ward!

Barb said...

And just this morning there's a news story about a recall of 228 million eggs. Coincidence? I think not!

Christiejolu said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Southern (in)Sanity said...

I really don't know where you get this stuff, but it's hilarious.

GrizzBabe said...

Ha! That reminds me of the dreams I have when I have to pee REAL bad.

Miss Em said...

Damn.
I was just thinking of a fried egg sandwich.
Not any more.

Momma Fargo said...

Ewww...gross.

gayle said...

I read this and died laughing and now could hardly read it to my husband because I am laughing so hard!! Thanks for a really good laugh tonight!!