Monday, August 23, 2010

Redneck Monday - Mo Sayings and Stuff

It’s that time of the week, peeps. Mo sayings to educate you and help you in conversations with us‘ens.


Dead as iced catfish!

His gal is so fat they hire a rodeo clown to distract her when grocery shopping.

I'm hangin' in there like loose teeth.

He's like a fart in a skillet. (Wound up.)

Well I'll be dipped in shit and rolled in bread crumbs.

I feel like a bag of smashed assholes.

She's wilder than a fifth ace.

Look, she’s as graceful as a sow on ice.

If you ask kindly, I might could.

She'd bitch if her ice cream was cold.

He's about as funny as a pissant floating on his back with a hard on tootin for the
bridge to open up!

He's so drunk he couldn't hit the floor with his hat.

I'm as giddy as a school girl on prom night.

Smaller than a tick turd.

Happier than a gopher in soft dirt.

Smoother then a hairy nipple on wax day.

You're so blind you would miss a crawdad playin' cards with Ray Charles.

Cool as a handjob on a honeymoon.

When it doubt, knock 'em out!

His family tree looks like a totem pole.

Her teeth are so bad, she could eat an apple through a picket fence.

I'm hotter than a tick on a dog's balls.

He’s about as useless as a restrictor plate.

Well don't just sit there like a knot on a log!

That won't last two foggy mornings.

If it has tires or testicles it's gonna give you trouble.


Weezer said...

Well, some of those are new to me. How 'bout.....and this is a favorite of mine: "Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit."

ScoMan said...

I love the "Hit the floor with his hat" one. Yeah, you know the one I mean.

Lickety Splitter said...

"When it doubt, knock 'em out!"

"Her teeth are so bad, she could eat an apple through a picket fence."

Hmmmm ... I think I have solved the mystery of what happened to her teeth!

Biddie said...

Shawn heard one the other day..Her face looked like someone tried to put out a forest fire with a screwdriver.
Makes ya think, don't it??

Stacy said...

Ticks have turds??