Monday, August 23, 2010

Redneck Monday - Mo Sayings and Stuff



It’s that time of the week, peeps. Mo sayings to educate you and help you in conversations with us‘ens.

Begin:

Dead as iced catfish!

His gal is so fat they hire a rodeo clown to distract her when grocery shopping.

I'm hangin' in there like loose teeth.

He's like a fart in a skillet. (Wound up.)

Well I'll be dipped in shit and rolled in bread crumbs.

I feel like a bag of smashed assholes.

She's wilder than a fifth ace.

Look, she’s as graceful as a sow on ice.

If you ask kindly, I might could.

She'd bitch if her ice cream was cold.

He's about as funny as a pissant floating on his back with a hard on tootin for the
bridge to open up!

He's so drunk he couldn't hit the floor with his hat.

I'm as giddy as a school girl on prom night.

Smaller than a tick turd.

Happier than a gopher in soft dirt.

Smoother then a hairy nipple on wax day.

You're so blind you would miss a crawdad playin' cards with Ray Charles.

Cool as a handjob on a honeymoon.

When it doubt, knock 'em out!

His family tree looks like a totem pole.

Her teeth are so bad, she could eat an apple through a picket fence.

I'm hotter than a tick on a dog's balls.

He’s about as useless as a restrictor plate.

Well don't just sit there like a knot on a log!

That won't last two foggy mornings.

If it has tires or testicles it's gonna give you trouble.

5 comments:

Weezer said...

Well, some of those are new to me. How 'bout.....and this is a favorite of mine: "Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit."

ScoMan said...

I love the "Hit the floor with his hat" one. Yeah, you know the one I mean.

Lickety Splitter said...

"When it doubt, knock 'em out!"

"Her teeth are so bad, she could eat an apple through a picket fence."

Hmmmm ... I think I have solved the mystery of what happened to her teeth!

Biddie said...

Shawn heard one the other day..Her face looked like someone tried to put out a forest fire with a screwdriver.
Makes ya think, don't it??

Ace said...

Ticks have turds??