It’s that time of the week, peeps. Mo sayings to educate you and help you in conversations with us‘ens.
Begin:
Dead as iced catfish!
His gal is so fat they hire a rodeo clown to distract her when grocery shopping.
I'm hangin' in there like loose teeth.
He's like a fart in a skillet. (Wound up.)
Well I'll be dipped in shit and rolled in bread crumbs.
I feel like a bag of smashed assholes.
She's wilder than a fifth ace.
Look, she’s as graceful as a sow on ice.
If you ask kindly, I might could.
She'd bitch if her ice cream was cold.
He's about as funny as a pissant floating on his back with a hard on tootin for the
bridge to open up!
He's so drunk he couldn't hit the floor with his hat.
I'm as giddy as a school girl on prom night.
Smaller than a tick turd.
Happier than a gopher in soft dirt.
Smoother then a hairy nipple on wax day.
You're so blind you would miss a crawdad playin' cards with Ray Charles.
Cool as a handjob on a honeymoon.
When it doubt, knock 'em out!
His family tree looks like a totem pole.
Her teeth are so bad, she could eat an apple through a picket fence.
I'm hotter than a tick on a dog's balls.
He’s about as useless as a restrictor plate.
Well don't just sit there like a knot on a log!
That won't last two foggy mornings.
If it has tires or testicles it's gonna give you trouble.
5 comments:
Well, some of those are new to me. How 'bout.....and this is a favorite of mine: "Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit."
I love the "Hit the floor with his hat" one. Yeah, you know the one I mean.
"When it doubt, knock 'em out!"
"Her teeth are so bad, she could eat an apple through a picket fence."
Hmmmm ... I think I have solved the mystery of what happened to her teeth!
Shawn heard one the other day..Her face looked like someone tried to put out a forest fire with a screwdriver.
Makes ya think, don't it??
Ticks have turds??
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