I keep telling my boss we need a sign on our accounting office:"I guarantee I'll get your maximum tax refund"Then when people come in and ask where their refund is, tell them to read the sign again.
On of the signs in my office (back in the day) was: "The beatings will continue until the moral improves."
In a Non-smoking Area: "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action." That's funny to me .. cuz my 'rents tried to kill me by smoking me out of the house and into the hospital where I had a near death experience due to pneumonia and asthma. Poor little six year old me.
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