Tuesday, October 12, 2010

The Check Out Line

I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected:

A half-gallon of 2% milk,
A carton of eggs,
A quart of orange juice,
A head of romaine lettuce,
A 2 lb. can of coffee, and
A 1 lb. package of bacon.

As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the cashier.

While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single."

I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since I was indeed single. I looked at the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about my selections that could have tipped off the drunk to my marital status.

Curiosity getting the better of me, I said: "Well, you know what, you're absolutely right. But how on earth did you know that?"

The drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly."


Mike Golch said...

wow,now thats cold blooded.

AnnoyingJoe said...

Nothing like a little etoh to bring out the honesty

Lickety Splitter said...

From now on, I'm gonna be ready for that mean ass comment, if anyone starts chatting me up in the grocery line. Ready with Judo!

Lickety Splitter said...

Or a can of WHUP ASS!

Yogi♪♪♪ said...

Love it.

Momma Fargo said...

Ha. Instant asshole...just add alcohol.

Matty said...

Now there's a curve ball for ya. Classic.

anon said...

Hah, if he saw my cart, he might think I'm ugly, but he sure as hell wouldn't think I was either single or childless.

Jamie said...

OMGosh.. coffey. Cracked me up. I am so stealing this one.

Happy Thursday. :)