Tuesday, October 05, 2010

Nuclear Stress Test Time



I know I am mistaken for a Greek God all the time (even though I am an Irish/Cherokee American), but even the Greek statues have cracks.


I have been having a little pain in my chest and left arm. Nothing serious, just some discomfort (kinda like a gas pain only higher.) It occurs when I am at my laziness. Like when I spend all day in my chair with the laptop on my lap-tray. So I decided to go see the cardiologist.

He said everything sounds good, I look good (as we all know) and everything seems to be working the way it should. BUT (there is always a ‘but’ in my life) I have only had one stress test since I had my heart attack back in aught four. So we scheduled one for this past Monday.

No food, no prescriptions, no diet coke, no beer, nothing by mouth (other than water - without Scotch) after midnight on Sunday (isn’t that actually Monday morning?). So I go into the office, nerves on end because, one, I haven’t had my morning coffee and, two, I HATE NUCULAR STRESS TEST. I had rater French Kiss Obama than take one. But there are things in life we have to bite the bullet and do. So there I was standing in the doctor’s office in front of the lady behind the desk.

I filled out some release forms (in case I kick-off during the test and they want to say it wasn’t their fault for FORCING me to go beyond any conceivable limits I would ever put myself through while radio isotope type shit is running through my veins) and that I would be responsible for the amount over what the insurance would be paying.

So I ask her how much that would be and she said, “Ummm! You have this insurance and they will pay 80%, so you part will be $640.00.”

WHAT?” I ask kinda loudly, grabbing my chest and staggering like Redd Foxx on Sanford and Son.

“Oh, you want have to pay it all today…” she nervously tried to say.

“Or not at all.” I came back at her. I tossed the from I had just filled out on her desk and told her to cancel my appointment and walked out.  Hell, SHE almost gave me a heart attack with that tidbit of information, and she wasn't that good looking enought to die for.

So I have decided to fix the little problem the holistic way. I won’t sit in my easy chair all day anymore. I’ll go over to the desk top and work from there. It’s more ergonomic, anyway.

Oh! And I was kidding about kiss Obama.

I had rather have the heart attack.

9 comments:

middle child said...

Get your ass back there and have your test!!!! And that thing about obama? Joke or not, i just threw up a little on my keyboard. BTW - Is that stress test the one that takes forever? Like a 4 part thing? See if they couldn't just do the one where you sit there and they inject the drugs while a cardiologist /radiologist? watches. It's no biggie.

Coffeypot said...

MC, Not for $600 bucks I won't. I've had both type test and this one is the big one with the tread mill, shots, x-rays, etc.

Daffy said...

I'll shoot you for free :o)

Charlene said...

I don't believe that about not kissing President Obama. If you were dying and he was the only one who could resussitate you, you'd lay there and let hiim give you mouth to mouth and be glad for the help!

Coffeypot said...

Not true, Charlene. He would not offer. You see, I'm a white Republican and he and his preacher hate white people...unless the grovel all over him.

blueeyedtawni said...

ive had that test done : /
ive also had 2 heart ablations and died once in surgery ..
ahem see if there is any other test that is cheaper they can do.. if not go get your glowing cocktail sit back and hate the ride..
your health is more important then money.. well money is nice but you cant enjoy it dead LOL..
hugs and listen to us peoples.. we will natter you to pieces!

Lickety Splitter said...

Are you serious? Your life is worth more than $600.00. And, I will miss you if go kuput on us, even if you are a die hard republican (ha ha -- just poking you)! Monetize this blog ... you should earn $600.00 in no time!

P.S. I am a moderate independent, so I hope your aim is bad ;)

Snuggle Wasteland said...

That is a lot of money but you should get the test anyway. It's better to be out 600 bucks than to be dead!

Anonymous said...

Haha-- Coffey.. don't worry...OBAMACARE will help you with expenses.
But you will have to make sure that you are worthy to society: [are you a democrat? do you work? (ie do you pay taxes) Can you go out and help "get the vote?" Can you pay taxes? Are you an illegal immigrant? Can you pay taxes? Are you a democrat? etc.]
sick...
Tina