Monday, February 21, 2011

Murphy’s Lesser Known Laws



1. Light travels faster than sound, which is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

3. Change is inevitable…except from a vending machine.

4. Those who live by the sword, get shot by those who don’t.

5. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

6. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.

7. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, 5-6 at a time, on a hill, in the fog.

8. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

9. The things that come to those who wait will be the things left by those who got there first.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day, drinking beer.

11. Flashlight: A metal tube used to store dead batteries.

12. Definition: The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

13. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

14. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of twelve people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.

Here is some advice that could help with much of the Murphy's Law Syndrom:

Justice Sandra Day O'Connor said it best: "Before speaking out ask yourself whether your words are true, whether they are respectful and whether THEY ARE NEEDED in our civil discussions."

The military also has some Murphy's Law stuff, too:

10 comments:

myevil3yearold said...

I loved these. I laughed out loud. I hope I didn't laugh last.

suz said...

Love it! ...especially the last one...

Jessica said...

HA! These were great. I love the first one :)

The Minute Man's Wife said...

You're always good for a chuckle! Number four was my personal favorite - only because I have an ex that collected swords!

Momma Fargo said...

Good ones, Coffey! I resemble these..lol

Stacy Lynn said...

#11 is so true around here. There is NEVER a working flashlight in this house.

CI-Roller Dude said...

Murphy is a M.F. I came up with some of my own "laws" in Iraq and Bosnia.

The first time my team was going into Falljuah with the Marines, I got my guys up early and told them we MUST go to the mess hall. I told them they had to eat eggs, bacon, sausage, grits, biscuits& gravey, oatmeal, coffee, tea, milk, juice, ceral, and anything else they could get down.
My CPL looked at me and asked "why?"

I told them: "you can't shit your pants in fear on an empty stomach."

Ed said...

Good stuff.

Just remember, its better to be judged by 12, than carried by 6.

The Restaurant Manager said...

I really enjoyed these!! Thanks! #1 was the best!

Pamela said...

I like the bright one