Best Golf Story Ever

John (not me, I don’t play this game) took a day off to play a round or two of golf. Unfortunately he couldn’t find anyone to play along with him, and not wanting to waste the day, took off on his own.

He had played a couple of holes when he noticed this man at the next tee playing by himself. So he walked up to him to see if he would like to play together.

The man turned to him and whispered in a rasp, “Sure! I could use the company.”

The voice kinda startled John, and not wanting to be destraced by wondering about the voice. Asked, “Is there something wrong with your voice or do you talk like that naturally?”

The man said, “Nah! I was playing alone a couple of days ago and I sliced my ball into the woods. When I went in to find the ball, I saw that there was barbed wire fence with a cow pasture on the other side. There was also a lady walking in the pasture gently swinging a golf club back and forth…I assumed looking for her ball. So I thought I would go over and look for mine and, maybe we could help each other out.

So I was walking around, too, swinging my club when I noticed a gold ball lying next to a cow. As I walked up to the cow, she laid down with her rump on the ball. Now I don’t know anything about cows or how to make them move. So I just grabbed the cow’s tail and lifted up as high as I could so I could see the ball. Well, it wasn’t mine. So, still holding the rump up by the tail, I asked the woman, “Hey, lady, does this look like yours? And she hit me in the throat with a nine iron.”

John couldn’t finish the game…