Sunday, April 01, 2012

Top Ten Complaints From Dogs
















     (Now Pay Attention You Human Types)


'1' Blaming your farts on me...not funny...not funny at all!
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'2' Yelling at me for barking...I'M A DAMN DOG!
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'3' Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway?
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'4' Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose. Stop it!
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'5' Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you're not home.
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'6' The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw.  You fooled a dog!  Whoooo Hoooooo!  What a proud moment for the top of the food chain!
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'7' Taking me to the vet for 'the big snip', then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back!
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'8' Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests.  Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet.
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'9' Dog sweaters.  Hello?  Haven't you noticed the fur?
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'10' How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth. You're just jealous.
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Now lay off me on some of these things. 
We both know who's boss here! 
You don't see me picking up your poop do you?

4 comments:

Suz said...

So very true! We really ought to act a little more grateful for them, eh?

Momma Fargo said...

LOL. Moose and Otis thank you for this.

That Janie Girl said...

Oh…the fake throw…I could so hear Zanna gritching at me about that!

MikeAT said...

I saw the Number 1 and I recall Mark Levine talking about his new dog Barney with Don Imus. Imus asked if he was named after Barney Frank and Levine responded "Just because he licks himself doesn't mean he's named after Barney Frank."