I am an awesome husband, yes I am. I have the ability to make my wife one of the happiest women on earth and it takes little effort on my part. I’m that good.
And it only cost me $.99.
You see, living out in the country among all the horses and chicken farms, we have our share of flies. Pesky little buggers! And a bitch to get rid of! So I put up four fly traps along the fence line and around the garbage can. They are so functional that I have to replace them each week. They fill up so fast.
But a few will get off course and end up in the house. Neither one of us enjoy them and their aerobatics. So we get bloodthirsty (do flies have blood) and kill the little fuckers when we can. But Judy will not let me spray the fly spray in the house. So I went out and bought fly swatters. For $.99! That is two for $.99 at Wal Mart. She has a red one and I have a blue one.
And Judy went wild. She is swatting flies all over the place.
I have dubbed her The Fly Killer. And she goes on the deck swatting flies like a MLB player at batting practice. She slap's them on the side of the house, on the deck furniture, even on the deck, and on the door (which makes a noise the scares the dogs and they climb all over me (over 90 lbs each.)
So I give you The Fly Killer…the Happiest Woman In Georgia…if not the world.
Told you I was awesome!