Saturday, July 14, 2012

A Day At The Mall

On the 9th my granddaughter, Bug, celebrated her 14th birthday. But we couldn’t celebrate the special day with her because she was in Texas visiting her other grandparents. So this weekend, as one of her birthday presents, we took her to the mall for school clothes shopping.

From our house, just over the woods about four miles is I-85, and just across I-85, at the first traffic light, you can turn left and go one mile there is a HUGE outlet mall. So many stores with bookoo’s of clothes, shoes, things and stuff all for purchasing at discount prices. But would she be caught dead shopping there? Well, maybe for some socks or skivvies, but CLOTHES? Never!

So we had to drive thirty miles to The Mall of Georgia to a teen shop called Hot Topics (I kept calling it Hot Pockets) so she could buy ‘cool’ stuff. I lasted about three minutes in there, rubbing arms and asses with thousands upon thousands of teens and their parents. So I went out into the mall, found a seating area, roosted, and converted to my ‘people watching’ mode.

This brought on two events.

The first one was this 90 something (she had to be that old) little old lady sitting across from me. She looked so fragile and was slumped sideways in her chair. I kept watching her to make sure she wasn’t going to topple over or pass out or die or something. Then the little old lady reached into her coat pocket and pulled out this pretty pink and white cell phone and began to text.

Either that or she was trying to call 911 to get someone to come and set her upright.

The other incident…I was admiring all the pretty people (well not all were that pretty - know what I mean?) when this very pretty lady came walking by, stopped, looked over at me, smiled and started walking toward me very slowly with that a certain look on her face. I was racking my brain trying to remember where I know her from. But she definitely knew me and was obviously intrigued (which I can understand).

But what I couldn’t understand is where she knew me from. She was so pretty and hot that I KNOW I would have remembered her. And there was Judy and the grand-kids. What if she came out and saw me loving on this gorgeous lady? How would I explain her to them because I didn’t even know who she is? Would Judy understand? Be mad at me for life? Take this young, gorgeous thing down right there in the mall? I was both excited and worried.

And just as she was about to reach where I was setting, she smiled even more and said, “I went back to the store, but I just couldn’t return it.”

And this deep voice right behind me said, “Why not?”

I almost screamed and jumped across the mall. Scared the bejesus out of me!!! I even looked over at the little old lady to see if she was calling 911 for me. But I think she was already dead.



Suz said...

Situational awareness. Dude shouldn't have taken you by surprise. You're off your game. I hope the little old lady survived!

NavyOne said...

Damn CP, you almost made that trip to shopping hell worth it. . .

MSgt B said...


My daughter also shops at Hot Topic. I call it "that Emo store" which pisses her off greatly.

The only good thing to come out of there: She saw an album by a group called "Bullet for My Valentine". It was not on a CD, it was on a thumb drive made to look like a .308 round. I told her I would buy the album for her if she would download it to her laptop, wipe the thumb drive, and give it to me.
Win! I now have a thumb drive that looks like a .308 round.

The Reckmonster said...

That is classic! At least you didn't do the embarrassing thing where someone waves and you don't know them, but you wave back, and then you realize they're waving to someone behind you. You dodged that bullet!

Maybe that 90 yr old was a cougar and she was trying to text YOU!!

lotta joy said...

When their eyes met across the room...closer and closer they moved toward each other until, in his imagination, he could already feel the throbbing heat of his....

oh...'scuse the mess....

Janie Junebug said...

I can't go in places like that. In fact, I hope I never go to a mall again as long as I live. Heaven will not have a mall, but it will have our four-legged friends.


Symdaddy said...

Did ya have t'buy new (clean) underwear?

Not So Simply Single said...

Hey Mr. Coffeepot....

When you get a chance, check out my new blog!

Looks like you are enjoying the summer! Yipee!


Coffeypot said...

Suz, between worrying about the old lady dying and her beautiful smile, I let my guard down and the dude snuck (???) up behind me.

N1, people watching at the Mall is a great pastime.

MSgt B, my grandson like the Emo look, with the skinny jeans and weird shirts. I swear he’s not gay. Just 16!

Reck, I know. Lucky I didn’t get up and go meet her first.

LJ, then I would have to explain the wet spot to Judy.

Janey, it is a hoot to people watch in a mall. For kicks, try it.

Symdaddy, what’s underwear?

Lisa, I’m hopping over right now. Thanks! And it has been an interesting summer so far.

Diamond Mair said...

OK, NOT FAIR!! I came over here @ the behest of NavyOne - my ribs are giving me fits {severely upset stomach yesterday, coughing today} and you make me ROFLMAO ..................... man, is NavyOne ever gonna get it from this former WM ................... ;-)

Semper Fi'

Coffeypot said...

DM, sorry for the pain, but glad you suffered it with a good laugh. Tell my where your blog is and I'll stop by.

Diamond Mair said...

Here ya go, Coffeypot:

I'm not as prolific as NavyOne - noodling an article {I've had a couple published @ FrontPage Magazine} on shariah & FGM - will let you know when it's done .....................

Semper Fi'

dc said...

See you can even have some fun just sitting and doing nuttin!