Monday, November 12, 2012

A Smile For The Week - Maybe

Well, Monday is almost over and Tuesday is looming close.  Maybe some humor will help you make it through the week.  At least one of these should make you laugh…I hope.

I don’t mind going to work.  But that 8 hour wait to go home is a bitch.

I didn’t say it was your fault!
I said I was going to blame you!

I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and I don’t want to see you every day.

The beatings will continue until the moral improves.

What if the Hokey Pokey really is what it’s all about?

I’m ashamed of what I did for a Klondike Bar.

Silence is golden; Duct Tape is silver.

I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad I take something for it.

Follow Your Dreams!
Except that one where you’re naked in church.

Sometimes too much drink isn’t enough.

Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!

In just two days from now, tomorrow will be yesterday.

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

The statement below is true.
The statement above is false.

I may be schizophrenic, but at least I have each other.

I am a Nobody.
Nobody is Perfect.
Therefor I am Perfect.

West Virginia: Five million people, fifteen last names.

Dyslexics Have More Nuf.
Larry LaPrise, the man who wrote “The Hokey Pokey”, died peacefully at age 93.  The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin.  They put his left leg in…and then the trouble started.

Money isn’t everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.

Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.

Don’t sweat the pretty things.
Don’t pet the sweaty things.

Corduroy pillows are making headlines!

So, Peeps, this this help any.  cricket, cricket
Yeah, I know, they are old, but some will still work.


Old NFO said...

Au contraire, Duct tape now comes in COLORS... AND camouflage...

Paxford said...

"Don’t pet the sweaty things"

You're taking all the fun out of my life :D


Coffeypot said...

I discovered that in Home Depot, Old NFO.

Sweaty is good...slip and slide.

lotta joy said...

Tuicidal twin kills sister by mistake. Loved that one.

There's nothing wrong with skitzofrenia except for the fact we can't spell it.

lotta joy said...

TUicidal? shit

Coffeypot said...

LJ, type much? HA!

J-Tony said...

West That could be said for Kentucky too.