Saturday, December 22, 2012

Did I Read That Right?





















Did I read that sign correctly? 
TOILET OUT OF ORDER! PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW!
  
In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES:
PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT

In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER  YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN 
 
In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD 
 
Outside a secondhand shop: 
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS

Spotted in a safari park: ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR

Notice in a farmer's field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE  FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.

Message on a leaflet:
IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS.

On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK) 

And Proofreading is a dying art, wouldn't you say? 

Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter!

Something Went Wrong In Jet Crash, Experts Says!

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers!
  
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over!

Miners Refuse to Work after Death!

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant!
  
War Dims Hope for Peace!
  
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile!
 
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures!

Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide!
 
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges!

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge!

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group!

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft!

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks!

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half!

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors!

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead!

3 comments:

JMD said...

Too funny!

Mike Golch said...

Yeppers!!

lotta joy said...


"Suicide prevention. Please hold..."

Love to you and Judy from me and ol' scabby.