Wednesday, December 19, 2012

HEALTH MESSAGE FROM A RETIREE










(Not Me - I have never play golf...without a Windmill being involved.)


Over the last few years in my retirement I have discovered some things about life and health.  So I thought I would share them with you, my Peeps.

1. If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.

2. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, and is fat.

3. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years.

4. A tortoise doesn't run and does nothing, yet it lives for 450 years.

And you tell me to exercise?? I don't think so.

I'm retired. Go around me.

Now that I'm older here's what I've discovered:

1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

2. My wild oats have turned into prunes and all-bran.

3. I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart.

4. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

5. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

6. If all is not lost, where is it?

7. It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.

8. Some days, you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant.

9. I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a few.

10. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.

11. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.

12. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.

13. The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the
 bathroom.

14. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he'd have put them on my knees.

15. When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone want to play
 chess?

16. Its not hard to meet expenses . . . they're everywhere.

17. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

18. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter . . .I go
 somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I'm hereafter

19. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.


9 comments:

lotta joy said...

You could have avoided saying that was not a picture of you! Damn handsome man in that photo!

Speaking of age, I SUDDENLY have arthritis in my elbow. So please explain why it's in the one thing that has gotten a lot of exercise during my life?

I'm gonna die from sitting on the couch, but at least I won't be embarrassed by dying on the treadmill.

Coffeypot said...

LJ, yea, but he doesn't give you panty-puddin like I do. Maybe you are getting the big A in the bow from being too stiff when you are firing. Those recoils can do damage if you don't do it right...just like some of the sexual positions you prefer. Dangerous!

Old NFO said...

LOL, good ones CP!

5 Monkeys and a Chick said...

Your posts always make me laugh! Love it!

Coffeypot said...

5 M & C, that's a good thing. It's why I do it.

lotta joy said...

Hey, it all STARTED with shooting. So, How can I fire correctly without using a stiff arm approach? It REALLY has made me give up target practice.

Well Seasoned Fool said...

A friend recently turned 88. Says if he new old age was like this, he would have postponed it a few years.

Janie Junebug said...

Lotta Joy never mentioned to me that you give her panty-puddin, and we share all of our deepest darkest secrets.

Love,
Janie

Miss Em said...

Gee. If I knew how to turn back the clock.....but...

ah, ah, what were we talkin about?