Friday, November 30, 2012

GO NAVY!!!

Our Country Is In Trouble...


Thursday, November 29, 2012

Finally, Honesty In Buck Hunting Stories




















Above is a picture of the new world record whitetail buck.  

It was taken by the cousin of a co-worker’s sister’s uncle’s best friend’s son-in-law’s niece’s hairdresser’s neighbor’s ex-boyfriend’s oldest nephew.  Reportedly it will score 2603 1/8 by B&C standard and was shot in West Texas on a really windy day, 85 degrees downhill, around a curve at 900 yards with a .22 cal. rifle.

Supposedly, this deer had killed a Brahma Bull, two Land Rovers, and six Jehovah’s Witnesses in the last two weeks alone.  They said it was winning a fight with Bigfoot when it was shot.  And it has also been confirmed that the buck had been seen drinking discharge water from a nuclear power plant.

All this has been checked and confirmed by Snopes, so it has to be true.  Honest! 

Would I lie to you?  I’m not married to ya, so I don’t have to lie.

Trust me, Peeps!


Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Will Said It


















Will Rogers, who died in a 1935 plane crash along with Wiley Post, was one of the two greatest political sages this country has ever know (the other being Bob Hope.)

Below are a baker’s dozen of his sayings:

1. Never slap a man who’s chewing tobacco.
2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
3. There are two theories to arguing with a woman.  Neither works.
4. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
5. Always drink upstream from the herd.
6. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.
7. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back in your pocket.
8. There are three kind of men:
The ones that learn by reading.
The few who learn by observation.
The rest of them have to piss on the electric fence and find out for themselves.
9. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
10. If you’re riding ahead of the heard, take a look back every now and then to make sure it’s still there.
11. Lettin’ the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier’n puttin’ it back.
12. After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started to roar.
He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.
The Moral: When you are full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
13. Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft.
Today it’s called golf.

Of course there are hundreds more, but you would get tired of reading them if I put them here.

Saturday, November 24, 2012

FOOTBALL TICKETS FOR SALE



2 season tickets for sale.

My wife doesn't like the person who sits in the seat next to us and will not attend any more games.

I have attached a picture with the view from the seats.

Tickets will be sold to the highest bidder.


Current Bid: $6,500 each...

















Thanks, DC.

Thursday, November 22, 2012

What Turkeys Are Thankful For...


Be Thankful



















Okay!  Today is Thanksgiving and we all have something or the other to be thankful for. 

So be thankful!

Also, if you are eating a meal alone or with family, enjoy it to the nth degree.

If you enjoy sports, enjoy your football games.

But most of all DO NOT forget to send a prayer of thanks to our Navy, Air Force, Army, Marines and Coast Guard personal serving across the globe.  Because of them you can enjoy your Thanksgiving Day.

Later, Peeps.

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Tavern Tales or How The Fight Started…















 
(A Street Fight Outside A Tavern by Herman Fredrick Carel ten Kate)


Some A-hole looked at my beer belly in the pub last night and sarcastically asked,
"Is that Budweiser or Pabst Blue Ribbon?"
I said, "There's a tap underneath, taste it."
That’s when the fight started…
***
I was talking to a girl in the bar last night.
She said, "If you lost a few pounds, got a shave, and got your hair cut, you'd look pretty good."
I said, "If I did that, I'd be over there talking to those good looking gris."
That’s when the fight started…
***
I went to the pub last night, had a shot of Ezra Brooks and saw a fat chick dancing on a table.
I said to her, "Nice legs."
The girl giggled and said with a smile, "Do you really think so."
I said "Definitely, most tables would have collapsed by now."
That’s when the fight started…
***
I was telling a girl in the pub about my ability to guess what day a woman was born just by feeling their breasts.
"Really" she said, "Go on then... try."
After about 30 seconds of fondling she began to lose patience.
"Come on, what day was I born"?
I said, “Yesterday."
And she didn’t catch on…