Sunday, March 24, 2013

Ya Know You Are A Redneck When...

Redneck Coveralls…

(Just ask for the Georgia Cut…)

Ya know you're a redneck when...

1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.
3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.
6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.
7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.
8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.
10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
12. Your grandmother has 'ammo' on her Christmas list.
13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.
14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.
16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
17. You have a rag for a gas cap.
18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.
19. You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.
20. You can spit without opening your mouth.
21. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.
22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say 'Cool Whip' on the side.
24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.
25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.
26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.
27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements.
28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.
29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.
30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.


Kristy said...

LOL, I guess after reading this list I'm not a red-neck. I might have a little with some of my containers I have used to store food in. Hey they are free!

That Janie Girl said...

Oh my God those overalls cracked me up!

And the list…ummm…fits. Well, parts of it, anyway.

middle child said...

Lovin' #21!!!!

Linda said...

That picture is priceless!

Old NFO said...

Sad but true...

Coffeypot said...

Kristy, years ago mayo, and jelly came in screw top jars, like mason jars, only round. Mom saved them and used them in canning stuff.

Janie, Those GA Jeans are so comfortable, but don't wear them around a pan frying bacon.

Middle Child, kinda like Chicago, the only state that has former governors and mayors making their state auto tags.

Linda, those coveralls don't stretch that much. Have to make room.

Jim, not sad. Be proud of any redneck or hillbilly you have in ya.

Miss Em said...

I can identify with several of them. Especially the one about flea soap in the shower...where else would I keep it when that's where the dog I had would get its bath. You know it didn't matter when it would shake the water from its fur because we would both be wet anyway.

David said...

I so have to swipe this one...

Wendy aka Quillfeather said...

Dear god! Lost for words :)

NavyOne said...

I am going to pretend like I did not see that picture. . .

Coffeypot said...

Miss Em, I think we can all identify with many of these… at least us who are Southern by the grace of God.

David, you are welcome to it. I got it from someone else, too.

Wendy, first of all, welcome to the Coffeypot. You are a brave and adventurous woman. I can understand you lack of words, too. One of the themes of this blog is shock and awe. 

N1, it reminds me of some of the Navy Chief’s I worked for back in the day. Except the Chief would be holding a coffee cup or a beer bottle in his hand. Never a sissy plastic cup…