Friday, April 19, 2013

A Man's Fifty Shades Of Grey




















(UPDATE)
FIFTY SHADES OF GREY - (a husband's point of view)
By Pam Ayres (Not Really)
By John Summers (For Real - Thanks John For Letting Me Know and For A Great Poem) 

The missus bought a Paperback,
down Shepton Mallet way,

I had a look inside her bag;
... T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey".

Well I just left her to it,
And at ten I went to bed.

An hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread...

In her left she held a rope;
And in her right a whip!

She threw them down upon the floor,
And then began to strip.

Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek;

But Mabel hasn't weathered well;
She's eighty four next week!!

Watching Mabel bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.

And things then went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!

She struggled back upon her feet;
A couple minutes later;

She put her teeth back in and said
I am a dominater !!

Now if you knew our Mabel,
You'd see just why I spluttered,

I'd spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I'd uttered.

She stood there nude and naked
Bent forward just a bit

I went to hold her, sensual like
and stood on her left tit!

Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;
My God what had I done!?

She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
"Step on the other one"!!

Well readers, I can tell no more;
Of what occurred that day.

Suffice to say my jet black hair,
Turned fifty shades of grey.


9 comments:

Janie Junebug said...

No 50 Shades of Grey in my house. I would never read anything that naughty.

Love,
Janie

John Summers said...

Not by Pam Ayres :) ... love th cartoon! .... by me .... see http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/booksblog/2013/mar/28/50-shades-pastiche-pam-ayres-el-james

John Summers
:)

John Summers said...

... i meant ... i wrote the poem !

John
:)

Suzanne McCarley said...

No Janie, never!

middle child said...

Read the books and yup...the poem just about covers it!

Old NFO said...

ROTFLMAO! :-)

lotta joy said...

Stud didn't really get that red spot on his nose from a cigar lighter. He stepped on my left boob and I have a mean right hook.

Aleta said...

Omg I'm in tears!!!

Lil Dreamer said...

OMG!! Howling with laughter!!! I'm currently reading this book so it made this post even more precious!!