Saturday, July 06, 2013

Women Are Like...





















Okay, Peeps.  On the last post I gave you what men are like.  Now it’s the women’s time.

Women are like…Tea Bags.   You cannot tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water.

Women are like…Fish.  Both attracted to shiny objects.  Neither can operate a vehicle.  There’s others in the sea and/or bar.  Cold blooded.  Three words: catch and release.

Women are like…Refrigerators.  Cold on the inside, never seem to have a beer when you need one, and they both belong to the kitchen.

Women are like…Computers.  They have a lot of data but they are still clueless, nobody understands their inner workings exactly, every mistake you ever made is stored in their memory, just when you have decided to stick with one model, a new one comes along.

Women are like…Cats.  After living with a cat for a while you will discover that whenever you are busy the cat will want your attention, but the moment you want to stroke your pussy it will be asleep, hiding, half-baked on catnip or especially not in the mood.

Women are like…Cars.  Drive carefully and enjoy the curves on the road.

Women are like…Coffee.  The best ones are rich and keep you up all night.

Women are like…A 500cc Speedway Bike.  Hard to handle and hard to stop!

Women are like…An Overfull Suitcase.  Impossible to shut up!

Women are like…A Sharp Razor Blade.  Always cutting!

Women are like…A Hurricane.  At first warm wet and wild, but in the end they take your house and your car and leave you with nothing

Women are like...A Condom.  They spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.

Women are like…The Stock Market.  They're irrational and can bankrupt you if you're not careful.

Women are like…Saran Wrap.  Useful but clingy!

Women are like…Horses.  Fun to pet and ride, but a pain to feed and clean up after.

Women are like…Parking Meters.  If you don't feed them with enough money you face serious consequences.

Women are like…Fax Machines.  Useful for one very specific purpose but otherwise just high-maintenance paperweights.

Women are like…Political campaign contributors.  If you let them talk about themselves long enough you wind up in bed with them.

Women are like…Blue Jeans.  They look good for a while but eventually they fade and have to be replaced.

Women are like…Country Western Songs.  They're annoying, they all sound alike, and if you really listen to them you'll get depressed and drink a lot.

Finally

Women are like Cops… They can have all the evidence in the world, and the still want a confession.

But you know, women are also like a good scotch… They make my tummy all warm.

5 comments:

Daily Smug said...

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Old NFO said...

Another good one, and I hope you enjoy sleeping on the couch for a month...LOL

Momma Fargo said...

Haha. Exactly.

J-Tony said...

Definitely like cops...Good list. I'll have to go read the men one now.

Nicole Thomas said...

One raised eyebrow.