Tuesday, March 15, 2016

Golfing Quotes


























Golfing has its own language and descriptions.  Comments and excuses are pretty unique, too.  Here are a few for ya…

1. These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow. ~ Sam Snead
2. I was three over today: One over a house, one over a patio and one over a swimming pool. ~ George Brett
3. Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula. And I took a 7 to do that. ~ Jim Murray
4. The only sure rule in golf is - he who has the fastest cart never has to play the bad lie. ~ Mickey Mantle
5. Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you're not good at them. ~ Kevin Costner
6. I don't fear death, but I sure don't like those three-footers for par. ~ Chi Chi Rodriguez
7. After all these years, it's still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye. ~ Chi Chi Rodriguez
8. The ball retriever is not long enough to get my putter out of the tree. ~ Brian Weis
9. Swing hard in case you hit it. ~ Dan Marino
10. My favorite shots are the practice swing and the conceded putt. The rest can never be mastered. ~ Lord Robertson
11. Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. ~ Jack Benny
12. There is no similarity between golf and putting; they are two different games, one played in the air, and the other on the ground. ~ Ben Hogan
13. Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20% of the time, you're the best. ~ Jack Nicklaus
14. The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. It's almost a law. ~ H. G. Wells
15. I never pray on a golf course. Actually, the Lord answers my prayers everywhere except on the course. ~ Billy Graham
16. If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf. ~ Bob Hope
17. While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake. ~ Henny Youngman
18. If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. ~ Jack Lemmon
19. You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work. ~ Lee Trevino

9 comments:

mohaverat said...

I used to play golf but after years of therapy and bourbon I have finally quit. It didn't drive me to drink but I blame it anyway!

Well Seasoned Fool said...

A vice I never acquired, thankfully.

Coffeypot said...

Rat and WSF - I never took up the addiction either. I have too many other reasons to drink without adding Golf to the list. I have things under control now, so why tempt fate and take it up.

LL said...

Shooting golf balls in flight sounds more interesting. Call me a barbarian if you must.

Irish said...

It's fun on a part time basis. Going with a group of friends and not taking it too serious.

I won't go with the "competitive" guys. It's not fun.

Coffeypot said...

LL - Nope, not Barbarian. Just a man who makes better use of his time. Yep, shooting golf balls in flight would be more fun and shooting skeet.

Irish - I have never played anything more challenging than miniature golf. But, man, those windmills and dinosaurs can be rough.

Momma Fargo said...

Ha. I don't like much golf. It is OK in small doses. I live in the land of the greens. Pitiful isn't it?

Old NFO said...

Good ones! :-)

Caddie said...

Thanks. I love to to laugh, especially morning time. I will return -just started reading/viewing your site.