Monday, July 16, 2018

For Newcomers To Georgia














You newcomers to Georgia, here are some things you need to know if you plan to stay here.

1. Save all bacon grease. You will be instructed later how to use it.
2. If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in the cab of a four wheel drive with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way.  This is what they live for.
3. Remember: "Y'all" is singular.  "All y'all" is plural. "All y'all's" is plural possessive.
4. Get used to the phrase "It's not the heat, it's the humidity".  And the collateral phrase "You call this hot? Wait'll August."
5. Don't tell us how you did it up there. Nobody cares.
6. If you think it's too hot, don't worry. It'll cool down-in December.
7. A Mercedes-Benz is not a status symbol, a Jeep, Chevy, Dodge, or Ford is.
8. If someone says they're "fixin" to do something, that doesn't mean anything's broken.
9. The value of a parking space is not determined by the distance to the door, but the availability of shade.
10. If you see a slower moving vehicle on a two lane road pull onto the shoulder that is called "courtesy".
11. BBQ is a food group. It does NOT mean grilling burgers and hot dogs outdoors.
12. Yes, weddings, funerals, and divorces must take into account for Ga.Tech, UGA or Navy Football games. 
13. Everything is better with 1000 Island or ranch dressing.
14. DO NOT honk your horn at us to be obnoxious, we will sit there until we die.
15. We pull over and stop for emergency vehicles to pass. 
16. We pull over for funeral processions, turn our music off and men remove hats or caps. Some people put their hand over their heart.
17. "Bless your Heart" is a nice way of saying you're an idiot.
18. No matter what kind: sprite, coke, Pepsi, mountain dew, it isn't called soda or pop. It’s all called coke
19. If you don't like the weather in Georgia, wait 15 minutes, it will change
20. The difference between a Yankee and a Damn Yankee is, the Yankee goes back home.

21. And for you Liberals pussies…


6 comments:

Lickety Splitter said...

I'll give all that an Amen with sugar on top except that last part. FYI -- I'm a conservative liberal living among a bunch of liberal conservatives and I'm okay with responsible gun ownership because it's all I've ever known. Hugs.

Well Seasoned Fool said...

If my ex had called me "Sugar" and "Honey" as much as total stranger ladies in the South call me, she might not be my ex. However, I have refrained from pissing off a Southern Woman.

Coffeypot said...

LS, I agree so much with the responsible gun ownership. I carry concealed but pray I only have to pull it to clean it.

WS, darling, honey, or sugar is every man's name here in the south. Especially in the Waffle House and other restaurants.

Jeffery in Alabama said...

Those are words to live by.

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Anas Imtiaz said...

Love this post.
Regards.
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