He's a nice enough guy, but I don't think he has enough chlorine in his gene pool.
That makes my ass draw up so tight you couldn't drive a toothpick through it with a sledgehammer.
I wouldn't have that in my ass if I had room for a drilling rig.
I'd rather be in hell with a broken back than (fill in the blank).
I wouldn't pay $50 to see a piss ant pull a freight train.
If he were to give a concert in my backyard, I'd pull the blinds.
It's colder than a nun's cunt on a ski slope.
That's handier than a pocket on a shirt.
Well dip my balls in sweet cream and squat me in a kitchen full of kittens.
I'm bowed up like a Halloween Cat.
She's so ugly when she was a baby her mom fed her with a slingshot
That’s harder than a choir boy in a porn shop
It's colder than a whore's heart out there.
I'm happier than a punk in a pickle patch.
GO BACK OFF IN YOUR OWN JACK YARD!
Granny cooked enough supper to feed Pharaoh’s Army.
He couldn't hit the ground if he fell twice!
Busier than a one armed monkey with two peckers.
Madder than a pack of wild dogs on a three legged cat.
I'm so poor I've got to fart to have a cent.(scent)
Her jeans are so tight, you can see the veins in her ass!
If a frog had wings he wouldn't bump his butt when he hops.
Back when men were men and women were proud of it.
You're swingin' like a wash woman.
Cornier than a corn field and half of it's owner's turds.
That fellers so dumb, he don't know sheep shit from cotton seed!
That's lower then quail shit in a wagon rut!
As poor as field mice.
Harder than a ministers prick.
